Imaginary Scars
A struggle3 total reviews
Comment from Kelly Louisa Balliu
This a superbly written short story, Terrence. With just enough back story to allow the reader to get to grips with what appears as the character's post traumatic stress, this works really well in representing an injured mind - as well as the loneliness he feels in the absence of family; his only companion now, the mutt 'Blue,' whose name seems to suit his persistently negative mood.
The phrases you use, such as 'nocturnal grind,' 'monotonous oasis' and 'fractured world' drag the reader even deeper into the existence that Montrel inhabits. I like the inclusion of the mannequins, as I think a horror story that includes any kind of 'doll' gives it that added creepy element. In this story, what makes it all the more sinister is that the character surrounds himself with these blank faced, lifeless individuals whom he likens to phantom family members, giving the reader an opportunity to feel a certain sadness for him and the aptly described 'desolate wasteland of his reality.'
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This a superbly written short story, Terrence. With just enough back story to allow the reader to get to grips with what appears as the character's post traumatic stress, this works really well in representing an injured mind - as well as the loneliness he feels in the absence of family; his only companion now, the mutt 'Blue,' whose name seems to suit his persistently negative mood.
The phrases you use, such as 'nocturnal grind,' 'monotonous oasis' and 'fractured world' drag the reader even deeper into the existence that Montrel inhabits. I like the inclusion of the mannequins, as I think a horror story that includes any kind of 'doll' gives it that added creepy element. In this story, what makes it all the more sinister is that the character surrounds himself with these blank faced, lifeless individuals whom he likens to phantom family members, giving the reader an opportunity to feel a certain sadness for him and the aptly described 'desolate wasteland of his reality.'
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is so well done. Your writing captures the complexities of trauma so well. I also like how you share struggle for meaning in your writing with such an emotional punch. The descriptions of Lafayette's Northside and the school corridors create an atmosphere of loneliness. I was drawn into Montrel's isolated world. Great job!
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This is so well done. Your writing captures the complexities of trauma so well. I also like how you share struggle for meaning in your writing with such an emotional punch. The descriptions of Lafayette's Northside and the school corridors create an atmosphere of loneliness. I was drawn into Montrel's isolated world. Great job!
Comment Written 07-Jul-2024
Comment from Rosemarie L Tharp
This is very beautifully written and was a delight to read. More than a horror or thriller I read this as a tragedy of one man just trying to cope with unimaginable pain. Very well written.
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This is very beautifully written and was a delight to read. More than a horror or thriller I read this as a tragedy of one man just trying to cope with unimaginable pain. Very well written.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024