"Painted Visions"
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Oceans Breeze"A Collection of Heart Felt Poetry.
2 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Ocean's Breeze, finds the poet of the beach observing the sand surf, and sky as the winds cross the land and the water. The worst that can happen here is having to leave.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
This poem, Ocean's Breeze, finds the poet of the beach observing the sand surf, and sky as the winds cross the land and the water. The worst that can happen here is having to leave.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
-
Thanks Bill and yes, Long Beach Island is NewJerseys voted beach for 2024.
Doctor Ricky
Comment from zaraduck6
This was a well-written post! I love the idea of the ocean breeze and all the literary devices used. Some improvement suggestions: 'blue sky's cloud' instead of 'Blue Skie's cloud.' And 'along the high, high, high mountain side' instead of 'along the high, high, high, mountain side'(last comma not needed). And 'and through the branches of mighty oak' instead of 'and, through the branches of mighty oak'(no comma after 'and'). And make sure that Mighty Oak closes with a quotation mark. And 'and among the many, many planted Dune grasses' instead of 'and, among the many, many, planted Dune grasses'(no comma after 'and' or after the second 'many'). And the last sentence may not need that first "Oceans." The idea of the poem was very nice and overall very well-written. Well done!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
This was a well-written post! I love the idea of the ocean breeze and all the literary devices used. Some improvement suggestions: 'blue sky's cloud' instead of 'Blue Skie's cloud.' And 'along the high, high, high mountain side' instead of 'along the high, high, high, mountain side'(last comma not needed). And 'and through the branches of mighty oak' instead of 'and, through the branches of mighty oak'(no comma after 'and'). And make sure that Mighty Oak closes with a quotation mark. And 'and among the many, many planted Dune grasses' instead of 'and, among the many, many, planted Dune grasses'(no comma after 'and' or after the second 'many'). And the last sentence may not need that first "Oceans." The idea of the poem was very nice and overall very well-written. Well done!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2024
-
I really appreciate your review and thoughts.But I would suggest that you do not rewrite other poets writings and suggest it is a little bit not needed.
Everybody who writes on here's work is unique.
24
Doctor Ricky 1034
-
I understand that everyone's writing is different and I respect that. All I am doing is correcting a few grammar mistakes.
-
No problem.
Keep writing and have a pleasant evening.
Doctor Ricky