The Shot
a sedoka5 total reviews
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A graphic sedoka, and you shown it from two different aspects. Sam, the one who pulled the trigger, and Dave, who found his friend and would have to live with Sam's decision .
Well written and good luck in the contest.
Cheers
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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A graphic sedoka, and you shown it from two different aspects. Sam, the one who pulled the trigger, and Dave, who found his friend and would have to live with Sam's decision .
Well written and good luck in the contest.
Cheers
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you, Valda
Comment from Pamusart
Hi. Your poem did not match the prompt. But, so now you guys entering the contest, knows that it is not as the prompt states it is 577 rather than 575 How you guys knew that I'll never know. I think sally set up the contest. Maybe I'll send her a private message
This is a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!
Sounds like a traumatic experience. I hope it's not autobiographical. That would be a terrible thing to witness. I think you could've said something about the blood and the scene after he shot himself I know you did, but it wasn't as impactful as I thought.
But you did a good job
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Hi. Your poem did not match the prompt. But, so now you guys entering the contest, knows that it is not as the prompt states it is 577 rather than 575 How you guys knew that I'll never know. I think sally set up the contest. Maybe I'll send her a private message
This is a good entry for the contest. Good luck with that!
Sounds like a traumatic experience. I hope it's not autobiographical. That would be a terrible thing to witness. I think you could've said something about the blood and the scene after he shot himself I know you did, but it wasn't as impactful as I thought.
But you did a good job
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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If I were writing a story with lots of room to draw out the scene, I would have likely littered the available area with gore and pieces of flesh.
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True
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
I enjoyed reading this, it is a strong entrant. I can almost envision it happening in my head so the profit going along with it was perfect too. Good luck with the contest and moving forward with your work.
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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I enjoyed reading this, it is a strong entrant. I can almost envision it happening in my head so the profit going along with it was perfect too. Good luck with the contest and moving forward with your work.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 31-May-2024
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Thank you, Nicole
Comment from EeanBlack
Poetry is so complex. It has to be done out of love for writing or one would go crazy thinking of the rights words. I guess all writing is that way.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Poetry is so complex. It has to be done out of love for writing or one would go crazy thinking of the rights words. I guess all writing is that way.
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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This format consists of two views of the same scene.
Comment from jessizero
I think you did a great job with this sedoka. Your second half really took me by surprise, as I'm sure you intended. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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I think you did a great job with this sedoka. Your second half really took me by surprise, as I'm sure you intended. Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
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Thank you, Jessizero
