Mack and Will
An adultified version of a Mother Goose rhyme.3 total reviews
Comment from karenina
LOL--
Okay, so it is the new and improved adult version...perfectly done for the challenge!
You've "tweaked" with a chuckle and no wonder you had fun creating this one!
Check your author's notes for those strange characters...
"I�¢??m giving a shout out to Arisa Chattasa for the photo."
Fun read!
Karenina
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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LOL--
Okay, so it is the new and improved adult version...perfectly done for the challenge!
You've "tweaked" with a chuckle and no wonder you had fun creating this one!
Check your author's notes for those strange characters...
"I�¢??m giving a shout out to Arisa Chattasa for the photo."
Fun read!
Karenina
Comment Written 04-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2024
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Thanks for alerting me to those pesky characters. I thought this poem might be a little much, but I had fun with it. Thanks for enjoying it!
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It will become second nature for you to double check for these "evil eddie" characters...
Comment from Julie Helms
You nailed the brief with your nursery rhyme! Excellent job. The original rhyme is easy to identify and you gave it a more modern and adult theme. Great rhyming!
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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You nailed the brief with your nursery rhyme! Excellent job. The original rhyme is easy to identify and you gave it a more modern and adult theme. Great rhyming!
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Thank you so much for the nice review!
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I've not come across any other entry for this contest so was quite intrigued by the prompt! I think this is great fun. You've got the rhythm spot-on for Jack and Jill and you couldn't have taken the nursery rhyme further from its original theme! I think the first line of the second stanza deserves a subject (They) and it would still have a nice flow. But you definitely modernised, adultified (awful word) and included humour and lingo. So I think you're looking very strong for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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I've not come across any other entry for this contest so was quite intrigued by the prompt! I think this is great fun. You've got the rhythm spot-on for Jack and Jill and you couldn't have taken the nursery rhyme further from its original theme! I think the first line of the second stanza deserves a subject (They) and it would still have a nice flow. But you definitely modernised, adultified (awful word) and included humour and lingo. So I think you're looking very strong for the contest. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 26-May-2024
reply by the author on 26-May-2024
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Oh thank you! I was laughing as I wrote it!
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That's a good sign!