The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 25"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
16 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This one slipped by me. It seems like Hell itself exists in this mansion. We have lost souls, souls in prugratory and celestial being and one mortal all within the same mansion. Since Victoria asked forgivness is she gone or will she still get another chance. I'd better hurry and read the other chapter before it goes off the listing too.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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This one slipped by me. It seems like Hell itself exists in this mansion. We have lost souls, souls in prugratory and celestial being and one mortal all within the same mansion. Since Victoria asked forgivness is she gone or will she still get another chance. I'd better hurry and read the other chapter before it goes off the listing too.
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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Yes, the mansion is a strong mixture of people descending in disgrace from the gates of Heaven and those who have been given one last smidgeon of hope to set things right. As for SEbastian, his heart was entwined with these souls and I imagine he asked for the chance to help. Thanks as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is really good writing. I felt the emotion as if I were there. Thank you for sharing this with us.
depths of the mansion sent fingers of terror throughout her body, (great description)
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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This is really good writing. I felt the emotion as if I were there. Thank you for sharing this with us.
depths of the mansion sent fingers of terror throughout her body, (great description)
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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Emotions and feeling them deep inside....Thank you. ma'am! That's the thrill of writing to move someone and make them feel like they are there. Thank you so much Barbara, for all your support and the fantastic stars.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
I love watching you develop the 'physics' of how the spirits work and how this mansion of endless souls is put together. It's really interesting.
A couple comments:
Thoughts of the last time she descended these stairs
(You're doing a brief flashback so use past perfect tense: she had descended...)
she *descended* these stairs flashed through her mind. She struggled with her decision, but in the end, she slowly *descended* the staircase,
(Maybe change one up)
Victoria, why do you persist in carving your name on the walls of damnation?"
(Pure brilliance! Loved your phraseology here!)
Child, deceit, and unworthiness have stained my soul.
(No comma after deceit)
Great chapter!
Julie
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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I love watching you develop the 'physics' of how the spirits work and how this mansion of endless souls is put together. It's really interesting.
A couple comments:
Thoughts of the last time she descended these stairs
(You're doing a brief flashback so use past perfect tense: she had descended...)
she *descended* these stairs flashed through her mind. She struggled with her decision, but in the end, she slowly *descended* the staircase,
(Maybe change one up)
Victoria, why do you persist in carving your name on the walls of damnation?"
(Pure brilliance! Loved your phraseology here!)
Child, deceit, and unworthiness have stained my soul.
(No comma after deceit)
Great chapter!
Julie
Comment Written 30-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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Good morning, Julie.... I've descended into the world of aches and pains (took a terrible fall working in the garden yesterday) but all if well. Fixed your suggestions and my body...well, it might take a bit longer. LOL Thanks as always.
Smiles, Carol
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Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that. :-(
Please be well and heal quickly!
Julie
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Thanks, Julie. Still hve a headache and lots of aches but then it could have been worse. LOL Besides, I can still type.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Esther Brown
I get the feeling this is going to wrap up all in a bang at the end. Wow. I was as creeped out as Sandra was, and totally uncertain of Victoria's true intentions. Not at all sure where everything goes without the book as a goal to reach. I am sure you left bread crumbs for me to find if I go back and search carefully. Waiting for more, Esther
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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I get the feeling this is going to wrap up all in a bang at the end. Wow. I was as creeped out as Sandra was, and totally uncertain of Victoria's true intentions. Not at all sure where everything goes without the book as a goal to reach. I am sure you left bread crumbs for me to find if I go back and search carefully. Waiting for more, Esther
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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Guess what? I never have any idea where we are headed until suddenly we are there. It was creepy this time and Victoria being drug away -- might keep me awake at night......figuring out the next move. LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ulla
You're always full of surprises aren't you, Carol? I no sooner thought I figured it all out when you put a spanner in the works. I love this story. Now on to the continuation. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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You're always full of surprises aren't you, Carol? I no sooner thought I figured it all out when you put a spanner in the works. I love this story. Now on to the continuation. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
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Good morning Ulla... Sorry for my delay. Life has claimed me lately and I've not been on FS except for a quick hello now and then. I thank you so much for enjoying another chapter of this crazy book. I too never know where we are headed until we get here! LOL
Smiles, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
This chapter is nothing short of amazing. I can't wait to see how you resolve the issue of the book now that it has been destroyed. Write fast so I can see how this ends.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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This chapter is nothing short of amazing. I can't wait to see how you resolve the issue of the book now that it has been destroyed. Write fast so I can see how this ends.
Comment Written 28-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Hmmm...the book went up in ashes! So without it how do they get the treasure back to the rightful people or their ancestors. A bit troubling! Hopefully one of them has a suggestion for me. LOl
Thanks as always, Carol
Comment from royowen
All this struggling among those who are physically no longer her, when the only person with flesh still on her bones is Sandra, there was a whol host at one stage, I feel sorry for Victoria, there is still good in her, and I guess Sebastian ssaw the potential too. Beautifully written Carol. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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All this struggling among those who are physically no longer her, when the only person with flesh still on her bones is Sandra, there was a whol host at one stage, I feel sorry for Victoria, there is still good in her, and I guess Sebastian ssaw the potential too. Beautifully written Carol. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Victoria was a reminder that we shouldn't take things for granted and wait until it might be too late for forgiveness. She did destroy the book so the evil spirits couldn't have it and maybe somehow she might get a second chance. One never knows. Thanks so much, Roy.
Smiles, Carol
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God sees the heart
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Yes he does! Smiles!
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Well done
Comment from LJbutterfly
Your ghost scenes are so fully and dramatically described that we can almost feel the chill in the air. When Victoria told Sandra to run, I thought she was trying to save Sandra and would throw the book to Sandra. But No. Victoria was so selfish she wouldn't try to save herself and wouldn't allow anyone else to have the book to be saved. I hope Sebastian really does have a workable plan.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Your ghost scenes are so fully and dramatically described that we can almost feel the chill in the air. When Victoria told Sandra to run, I thought she was trying to save Sandra and would throw the book to Sandra. But No. Victoria was so selfish she wouldn't try to save herself and wouldn't allow anyone else to have the book to be saved. I hope Sebastian really does have a workable plan.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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I hope Sebastian has a plan too! And he lets me know soon what it is. LOL Thank you so much for the kind review and forgive me for asking if you meant the four stars? It's okay if you did...but please let me know where it needs me to up my game.
Smiles, Carol
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Heck No! I did not mean to give your chapter 4 stars. I'm just reading your reply 2 days later. I just tried to go back and change the stars to 5. I hope it worked. Please forgive me.
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Nothing to forgive. Finger slips all the time. I know you are enjoying the book so I felt safe asking you about it. Others I might not have said anything. Thanks as always.
Smiles, Carol
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It now shows five stars. I'm glad you brought it to my attention.
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I thank you!
Comment from karenina
I've just come from the last chapter, seething and angry at Victoria, who I called "a wicked witch" --
As ever, you're making me reconsider. She chucked the book in the fire...but did she have a choice in these circumstances?
Oh man.
You're doing it again, Carol!
Just as I think I've got this thing figured out you leave that final sentence...
Sebastian touched Billy's shoulder as he spoke. "There still might be a chance."
If this was a Netflix miniseries (which it should be by the way) -- I'd be binge watching the next episode!
Come on now...
Post it!
(smile)
Karenina
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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I've just come from the last chapter, seething and angry at Victoria, who I called "a wicked witch" --
As ever, you're making me reconsider. She chucked the book in the fire...but did she have a choice in these circumstances?
Oh man.
You're doing it again, Carol!
Just as I think I've got this thing figured out you leave that final sentence...
Sebastian touched Billy's shoulder as he spoke. "There still might be a chance."
If this was a Netflix miniseries (which it should be by the way) -- I'd be binge watching the next episode!
Come on now...
Post it!
(smile)
Karenina
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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Hmmm... I am thrilled that you enjoyed this one. Netflix, you say? LOL Of course, there's always a chance, right? Can't leave all those ghosts hanging out at the mansion now, can we? It's getting crowded according to some readers. But how is the question? Thanks as always, sweet friend.
Smiles and love, Carol
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I'm loving it....the undulating spirits in the walls...
It's such a great blend of ghost story and redemption!
Netflix is waiting for the screenplay!
Comment from Ric Myworld
You really had me going, thinking we had come to the end, but then "There still might be a chance." LOL. Playing me like a cat chasing a string. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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You really had me going, thinking we had come to the end, but then "There still might be a chance." LOL. Playing me like a cat chasing a string. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
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That would have been too easy, my dear friend. There is so much more to come...after all, we must find the treasure and redemption for all the lost souls. You are too kind to me!
Smiles, Carol