Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Right in the Eye, ch 25"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
12 total reviews
Comment from BethShelby
This is an excellent ending which as been entertaining from the beginning. I have enjoyed all of it. I far behind but I didn't want to miss any on this. You have done a wonderful job with this. I hope to see it in print.
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
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This is an excellent ending which as been entertaining from the beginning. I have enjoyed all of it. I far behind but I didn't want to miss any on this. You have done a wonderful job with this. I hope to see it in print.
Comment Written 23-May-2024
reply by the author on 23-May-2024
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Thank you so very, very much!
And thank you for the six stars!
I would love to see it in print AND video!
Comment from Jim Wile
Well, that was everything you promised. An exciting and unexpected conclusion to this very interesting, often amusing, and colorful tale of four seniors who appear to be in the prime of their lives, finding love, friendship, and adventure out west.
The writing was good and the dialog well-crafted. I do wish there had been a longer denouement following the climax. I always prefer a bit of summing up and commentary on what the characters have been through, and what they've learned or come to realize rather than just an abrupt end to the action. You have a little of that; I just wish it had been a bit more.
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Well, that was everything you promised. An exciting and unexpected conclusion to this very interesting, often amusing, and colorful tale of four seniors who appear to be in the prime of their lives, finding love, friendship, and adventure out west.
The writing was good and the dialog well-crafted. I do wish there had been a longer denouement following the climax. I always prefer a bit of summing up and commentary on what the characters have been through, and what they've learned or come to realize rather than just an abrupt end to the action. You have a little of that; I just wish it had been a bit more.
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thank you very much.
Some readers prefer their own endings to mine. (smiley face here)
Slim is aging. Ben and Sylvia need to travel to California to take care of Ben's destroyed house. And the foursome should do some Colorado traveling.
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How did you come up with the idea to make Slim 120 years old? That added a lot of interest and fun to the story.
Did you ever see the movie The Man From Earth about a 14,000 year old man who was born during the Holocene period (cave man) and is today a college professor? Fascinating story.
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Did not see the movie. I'll try to find it.
I wanted Slim to have been rescued by Ben, the 1st. And to find Ben Jr. I didn't play it up, but I walso wanted Ben Jr involved with the Jesus revolution of the early 70s. Also, Sylvia and Mary couldn't be too old. In the first draft, Slim was 140 (in order for him to be an old timer when Ben rescued him). readers in my family wouldn't buy that age, even with a miracle.
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That was another good movie, The Jesus Revolution, starring Kelsey Grammer. Lonnie Frisbee was quite a remarkable person (with an unusual name like Slim's real name.)
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It was. And Jonathon Rhoumy is doing an equally exceptional job in 'Chosen'.
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You know, I never realized that, but you're right; it's the same actor in both. He was very convincing in each role.
Comment from lyenochka
The End? I didn't think this would end here but it does end with a good observation to "Sit Back an' Watch God Work" and well have a shotgun handy or someone who can shoot it. Glad someone knew what to do!
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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The End? I didn't think this would end here but it does end with a good observation to "Sit Back an' Watch God Work" and well have a shotgun handy or someone who can shoot it. Glad someone knew what to do!
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thank you so very much.
Yes, the end. I think I've all the juice out of the original Ben Persons that he had. (smiley face here)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, things are getting a little stranger all the time, but its good to be on the better side of the turn of events. LOL. Shoot'em up bang bang. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Well, things are getting a little stranger all the time, but its good to be on the better side of the turn of events. LOL. Shoot'em up bang bang. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thank you very much. I think I've all the juice out of the original Ben Persons that he had. (smiley face here)
Comment from Ben Colder
Winning a person to Christ at the time of death is rewarding. Much like the Lord said when giving the thief a break. This day, you will be with me in Paradise." Good dialog.
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Winning a person to Christ at the time of death is rewarding. Much like the Lord said when giving the thief a break. This day, you will be with me in Paradise." Good dialog.
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Wendy G
He was a crooked cop!! That could have turned out so differently if he'd got away with his plans. Just as well God was at work throughout. A satisfying ending to a well-written book. Congratulations.
Wendy
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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He was a crooked cop!! That could have turned out so differently if he'd got away with his plans. Just as well God was at work throughout. A satisfying ending to a well-written book. Congratulations.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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Thank you. I've appreciated your great support throughout.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Really? This is the end. Well, I guess it is. The bad guys have all been defeated and the good guys have certainly got God on their side as the dog shot the bad guy. Now do we get an Ohme? This was a good story, but Ohme always has great stories, too.
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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Really? This is the end. Well, I guess it is. The bad guys have all been defeated and the good guys have certainly got God on their side as the dog shot the bad guy. Now do we get an Ohme? This was a good story, but Ohme always has great stories, too.
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 20-May-2024
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Thank you very much for your great review.
And thank you immensely for the six stars.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
You sure have done a great job of weaving all of these stories and characters together. Slim and Ben becoming friends brought this story full-circle.
I know you have something else in the pipeline; another subject with new characters? It will be interesting to find out.
Your hard work should be rewarded with a two-week vacation on a beach somewhere:-)
Take care,
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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You sure have done a great job of weaving all of these stories and characters together. Slim and Ben becoming friends brought this story full-circle.
I know you have something else in the pipeline; another subject with new characters? It will be interesting to find out.
Your hard work should be rewarded with a two-week vacation on a beach somewhere:-)
Take care,
xo
Pam
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thank you immensely for the six stars!
I'd like to come up with a few stand-alone Ohmie stories.
But yes, I have another novel.
Going to the Colorado Rockies next Sunday for a couple weeks. Yay!
Comment from jim vecchio
I am so sorry to see this end. Please follow it up with another worthy successor. This was such a great blend of mystery, science fiction, noir, suspense, romance, and Christian fiction. I would love to see it as a movie. There is a small market now for Christian movies. I once corresponded with a writer who wrote a screenplay about the lives of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. Every studio turned him down. They wanted him to take out all the parts about their Faith.
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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I am so sorry to see this end. Please follow it up with another worthy successor. This was such a great blend of mystery, science fiction, noir, suspense, romance, and Christian fiction. I would love to see it as a movie. There is a small market now for Christian movies. I once corresponded with a writer who wrote a screenplay about the lives of Roy Rogers and Dale Evans. Every studio turned him down. They wanted him to take out all the parts about their Faith.
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thank you for your fabulous review and for the six stars!
I have something completely different in mind for a follow-up, but first hope to get some Ohmie stories posted. (Gotta think 'em up first, though)
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I'll be waiting.
Comment from Jessa kuder
I didn't read anything preluding this chapter, I thought it read a little choppy at first but once I caught in to the linguistics style it got smoother. The sentence structure could use a little tune up. Well written. Makes me want to go back to he beginning. Sti
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reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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I didn't read anything preluding this chapter, I thought it read a little choppy at first but once I caught in to the linguistics style it got smoother. The sentence structure could use a little tune up. Well written. Makes me want to go back to he beginning. Sti
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thank you for the review.
The beginning was 200,000 words ago (about 135 posts) in 'One Man's Calling'.