The Interloper
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "The Downfall Chap 2"a family sage told by the ignored one
5 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It seems like the family's framework is falling apart because of the father's inability to cope with his dear wife's death, there are so many like that, his love for his children should supersede his grief of spousal loss, beautifully written though Joan, very raw, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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It seems like the family's framework is falling apart because of the father's inability to cope with his dear wife's death, there are so many like that, his love for his children should supersede his grief of spousal loss, beautifully written though Joan, very raw, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 14-Jul-2024
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Thanks for the great review, Roy. I am glad you liked it.
Joan
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Well done,
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I can understand how their father would want to give up on life, my mother was the same when my father died. I wish I'd realised that sooner.
Now their father has died, that means more work to be shared between the children. But when the will is read out, fireworks exploded! I can really side with Aggie, what a terrible thing her father did leaving the farm to her brother.
So Natalie now has a husband, and he will be able to help with the farm. Seeing as he worked at a garden shop, he would be a great asset to the family. I hope things will run smoothly now.
This is a really packed out chapter, Joan, and it came to an end too early for me! Well done again. I'm off to another chapter now. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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I can understand how their father would want to give up on life, my mother was the same when my father died. I wish I'd realised that sooner.
Now their father has died, that means more work to be shared between the children. But when the will is read out, fireworks exploded! I can really side with Aggie, what a terrible thing her father did leaving the farm to her brother.
So Natalie now has a husband, and he will be able to help with the farm. Seeing as he worked at a garden shop, he would be a great asset to the family. I hope things will run smoothly now.
This is a really packed out chapter, Joan, and it came to an end too early for me! Well done again. I'm off to another chapter now. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 21-May-2024
reply by the author on 21-May-2024
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Thanks for jumping in the deep end with my story/book. Not sure it will be long enough to officially be called a novel.
Joan
Comment from Tom Horonzy
This was a good read considering I was confused with the title as written for I mused... who is Chap? Honestly.
It's a shame heirs fight over distribution rights as who are they to debate the wishes of the deceased.
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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This was a good read considering I was confused with the title as written for I mused... who is Chap? Honestly.
It's a shame heirs fight over distribution rights as who are they to debate the wishes of the deceased.
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Hi Tom,
Thanks for your continued support.
Joan
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I discovered this story with this chapter, but in my opinion it is outstanding. It flows well, the pace is excellent and the emotions are well-developed. I could identify with the 'suicide' of the father, as we had to go through that with my Daddy after the death of Mum. I will be looking for more, kay
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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I discovered this story with this chapter, but in my opinion it is outstanding. It flows well, the pace is excellent and the emotions are well-developed. I could identify with the 'suicide' of the father, as we had to go through that with my Daddy after the death of Mum. I will be looking for more, kay
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Thank, Kay. I am honored with the six star rating. I have the whole story done and I am trying to edit the chapters and get them in the right order.
Joan
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Another enjoyable chapter. The story continues to unfold with a blend of sorrow and glimpses of hope amidst the family's struggles. Your share the aftermath of the parents' deaths so well. The feud between Henry and Aggie adds layers of tension to the story. My suggestion would be to go into more detail. The wedding, for example, I imagine could be a chapter by itself. But overall this was enjoyable to read.
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Another enjoyable chapter. The story continues to unfold with a blend of sorrow and glimpses of hope amidst the family's struggles. Your share the aftermath of the parents' deaths so well. The feud between Henry and Aggie adds layers of tension to the story. My suggestion would be to go into more detail. The wedding, for example, I imagine could be a chapter by itself. But overall this was enjoyable to read.
Comment Written 19-May-2024
reply by the author on 19-May-2024
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Hi Michael.
Thanks for reading and reviewing. I wanted to get a general outline of the story from beginning to end written before going into to much detail.
Joan