The Unwilling Heir
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 17"A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders
14 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Alright, taking a break after this chapter.
Back to some more action in this chapter. We see a fight over the key before it disappears. Tim had gone upstairs to retrieve it.
We learn more about Ryan and how he was killed, also that he feels responsible for Noah's death.
Also, there was some interaction between William and Victoria. Lots of tension there.
Hugs,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
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Alright, taking a break after this chapter.
Back to some more action in this chapter. We see a fight over the key before it disappears. Tim had gone upstairs to retrieve it.
We learn more about Ryan and how he was killed, also that he feels responsible for Noah's death.
Also, there was some interaction between William and Victoria. Lots of tension there.
Hugs,
Rhonda
Comment Written 21-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2024
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And it just keeps on coming....even ghosts aren't settled. Maybe I should make a notation that direct entry into Heaven is far better than hanging out in purgatory, hoping for another chance. LOL
Smiles, Carol
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I don't know, you've hinted at it and you don't have to hit people over the head with things. Tolkien would scold CS Lewis for being too obvious about his Christian symbolism. He said people need to think about it and work out the meaning themselves. I am obvious with mine now, because of the way the chapters fall weeks apart. Later, before I publish, I'll make it more subtle. I have the benefit of reading yours as a whole.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Carol, you truly keep us guessing. There's a murder to be solved and then there's all ghosts each with their own agenda. Now onto the next chapter. A hug, Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Hi Carol, you truly keep us guessing. There's a murder to be solved and then there's all ghosts each with their own agenda. Now onto the next chapter. A hug, Ulla xcx
Comment Written 15-May-2024
reply by the author on 15-May-2024
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Thanks so much for reading again. I appreciate the kindness, Ulla.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from LJbutterfly
The thing that makes this story phenomenal is the complexity of the plot. You have many characters, each with their individual stories. Even though they are ghosts, there is a murder mystery to be solved. As information is revealed, it keeps the reader guessing and wondering what will happen next.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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The thing that makes this story phenomenal is the complexity of the plot. You have many characters, each with their individual stories. Even though they are ghosts, there is a murder mystery to be solved. As information is revealed, it keeps the reader guessing and wondering what will happen next.
Comment Written 13-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Thanks so much, Lorraine. That's what I aim for and I think it is the foundation of my writing. I want to tease the reader with something that will make them want to read the next chapter. I appreciate you very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
IT seems everyone was after the key. Sandra must have believe someone was aboug to take the key. It seem William is the one who has it. Victoria wanted it. Tim went to get it and Sandra wanted to get too it before someone stole it. I look forward to more.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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IT seems everyone was after the key. Sandra must have believe someone was aboug to take the key. It seem William is the one who has it. Victoria wanted it. Tim went to get it and Sandra wanted to get too it before someone stole it. I look forward to more.
Comment Written 12-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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That key keeps popping from one hand to the next...funny thing is no one knows where it goes to yet. I believe the answers are in the book unless something else exposes it.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Julie Helms
This is story continues to be complex and edge-of-your-seat enthralling! This scene reminds me of the British whodunnits when they are sitting around in a library examining the facts and who had motive etc.
Nicely done (as usual)!
One item for your consideration:
few more minutes." Sandra nodded
(Sandra is acting as the tag for the quote, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't speaking. If you just start a new paragraph with "Sandra..." it'll solve this.
Julie
:-)
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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This is story continues to be complex and edge-of-your-seat enthralling! This scene reminds me of the British whodunnits when they are sitting around in a library examining the facts and who had motive etc.
Nicely done (as usual)!
One item for your consideration:
few more minutes." Sandra nodded
(Sandra is acting as the tag for the quote, but I'm pretty sure she wasn't speaking. If you just start a new paragraph with "Sandra..." it'll solve this.
Julie
:-)
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Meant that to start another paragraph but it didn't happen I see. So much for my proof reading... and thank heavens for my eagle eye friends. Thanks so much ...appreciate you all the time.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from royowen
The key has been taken, Tim rushed back to tell the others, but with William, the lover of Victoria, he has the key, these earthbound ghosts don't seem to know the difference between existing here or departing for hereafter, they seem invulnerable. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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The key has been taken, Tim rushed back to tell the others, but with William, the lover of Victoria, he has the key, these earthbound ghosts don't seem to know the difference between existing here or departing for hereafter, they seem invulnerable. Beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Running a bit behind but I know you can relate to that especially with Mother's Day taking up some of our time...at least for me. I forgot you are in Australia...maybe like England it's on another day. Anyhow, thanks for reading and commenting. I always appreciate it.
Smiles, Carol
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You don?t have to apologise I?m OK with that Carol.
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Thanks...you are the best!
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Most welcome
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Was James detaining Sandra to give Victoria a chance to steal the key? The Judge seems to have gotten away with it, but what good will it do if only Sandra can find the answers they need.
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Was James detaining Sandra to give Victoria a chance to steal the key? The Judge seems to have gotten away with it, but what good will it do if only Sandra can find the answers they need.
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Actually Sandra can deliver the treasure for redemption, but because she lost the book, anyone who solves the riddles hidden within the book can find the treasure and then what happens is up for grabs.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
It's a very complex story, and I am not sure I am altogether "with it", but I am hoping that these ghosts will be judged equitably by the one (or the One) who sees both their actions and their motives. And I hope Sandra will be safe, and will work it out. However do you keep track? Well done!
Wendy
Edit: Who's face? (Whose face?)
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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It's a very complex story, and I am not sure I am altogether "with it", but I am hoping that these ghosts will be judged equitably by the one (or the One) who sees both their actions and their motives. And I hope Sandra will be safe, and will work it out. However do you keep track? Well done!
Wendy
Edit: Who's face? (Whose face?)
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Fixed and thank you!
Seems I make more mistakes lately as my brain fogs and my eyes fail...but as long as I have dear friends to set me straight, I am lucky. Thank you as always.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Things seem to be uncovered and explanations of the past are given. But even as they understand the past, there are things happening between the ghosts. I wonder what Victoria wants with the treasure since she's a ghost. It's good that the Judge caught her. Did he listen in on the conversation so got to Sandra's room before Tim?
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Things seem to be uncovered and explanations of the past are given. But even as they understand the past, there are things happening between the ghosts. I wonder what Victoria wants with the treasure since she's a ghost. It's good that the Judge caught her. Did he listen in on the conversation so got to Sandra's room before Tim?
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 13-May-2024
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Unfortunately, Victoria has lived in purgatory for so long she tends to forget the purpose and years for the days of aristocratic power and esteem. And the Judge, having been with Victoria for over a hundred years, senses where her thoughts are and knows what to expect.
Smiles, Carol
Comment from karenina
I knew your last chapter was setting us up for an action-packed, plot-twisting, spine-tingling, head-scratching "Who will end up with that key?"
glorious treat of action, dialogue, and (who knew?) someone pouring blood on Ryan!
Nobody molds a story like you do Carol... This is one of your very best!
Karenina
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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I knew your last chapter was setting us up for an action-packed, plot-twisting, spine-tingling, head-scratching "Who will end up with that key?"
glorious treat of action, dialogue, and (who knew?) someone pouring blood on Ryan!
Nobody molds a story like you do Carol... This is one of your very best!
Karenina
Comment Written 10-May-2024
reply by the author on 10-May-2024
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Thank you, sweet girl. For a story that I almost quite writing by the third chapter, I have gotten more comments about it being my best and should be published. I'm thrilled but flabbergasted at the same time. I'm so happy that I can keep you guessing as you sit on the edge of your seat wondering what I will do next. LOL
Smiles, Carol
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You knew, in your heart, that you would tame the unexplored ghost genre.
You have surpassed even your own expectations!
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I've definitely surpassed mine.... LOL thanks for believing I could do it!