Return To Concorde Valley
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "Adam's Choice"Fantasy based on the intersection of two worlds.
21 total reviews
Comment from Esther Brown
Enjoyed this story but haven't read the preceding chapters. I will look it up.
One tiny fix. Envelop has an e, right? It is in the explanation of past story. Thanks for imagining this, great job. Esther
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
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Enjoyed this story but haven't read the preceding chapters. I will look it up.
One tiny fix. Envelop has an e, right? It is in the explanation of past story. Thanks for imagining this, great job. Esther
Comment Written 08-May-2024
reply by the author on 09-May-2024
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Esther, thank you so much for taking the time to review this chapter. It's hard coming in the middle of a book. I've done it before, but it's hard to get the thread. It does, however, give you a chance to see the chapter for what it is as a stand alone. One reviewer did that this time, and was able to find I didn't define out my characters enough, leaning, as I was, on earlier chapters. It was a good critique.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
Comment from EeanBlack
A lesson indeed for me. A lesson in my weakest area, dialogue. An obvious lesson in story telling. The pace is very good and easy to maintain. I know it's me and my taste, but I can't get deep into the characters. I can't understand that because the story is good. Convince me. Teach me to see what I'm missing. Or not. lol
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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A lesson indeed for me. A lesson in my weakest area, dialogue. An obvious lesson in story telling. The pace is very good and easy to maintain. I know it's me and my taste, but I can't get deep into the characters. I can't understand that because the story is good. Convince me. Teach me to see what I'm missing. Or not. lol
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Eean, thank you so much for the six stars, and for the wonderful comments on dialogue.
I'm afraid the character part comes into play because this is a novel. For short stories, you get complete character building in a single post. With novels, they tend to stretch over time. I think maybe I need to work on a little more character definition within my chapters. A good focus for me, so you've taught me as well.
Thank you for jumping in on the story midstream and being about to point out strengths and weaknesses.
Take care,
Rhonda
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It's so good, I hope you took no offense.
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Not at all. If I wanted to be agreed with all the time, I wouldn't be a high school teacher, lol. What you had to say had value and was edifying. Thank you.
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Oh, you poor soul, a high school teacher. I was a high school student once. lol. Funny how the world works.
Comment from GoWiSt
Wow, Neptune's a rabbit that can talk?
Was Adam invisible as he made his way around in the underworld? Or just stealthy?
So, Echo wants to see how it all plays out with being abducted by Hades. I do, too...
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Wow, Neptune's a rabbit that can talk?
Was Adam invisible as he made his way around in the underworld? Or just stealthy?
So, Echo wants to see how it all plays out with being abducted by Hades. I do, too...
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hello GoWiSt,
Nice to see you drop in to review. Thanks for your comments. Poor Echo may just be in over her head.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, it's a wonderful continuation to your story and I get the feeling that hope is still there for Echo. I just hope she will follow the advice she's been given. But you never quite know with her.
I love this story. Hugs, Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hi Rhonda, it's a wonderful continuation to your story and I get the feeling that hope is still there for Echo. I just hope she will follow the advice she's been given. But you never quite know with her.
I love this story. Hugs, Ulla xcx
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hi Ulla,
I appreciate the six stars, my friend, and for your comments on the content. Echo has some hope, for sure, but may not leave unscathed. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and that you are following it.
Hugs,
Rhonda
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Oh I love the story, as you know. Beyond Redemption will be out next Sunday, meanwhile, I'm writing for a contest I created. Just having some fun, writing something different. xcx
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Oh cool!! Once in awhile I like to mix things up a bit, just not lately. I'm just trying to get back into the swing of things and tread water until this summer.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Very nice artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. You did a great job. I like how you divided it into two parts. Echo still has to deal with Hades, and he has all kinds of things planned for her, like the clothes she should wear. He certainly wants his own way, as well. If he doesn't get it, he makes them miserable.
Adam appears and has managed to save Hannah and Phillip and also has Sunny. Echo was relieved to hear this news. But Echo doesn't want him sacrificing himself for her. She is also glad that Theo has a mission. Adam and Echo share information about each other, and I think that helps both of them as far as their potential plans are concerned. I also like the little "meow" at the end of this section.
The last section is also very good until it seems something has arisen that is practically blinding Adam's eyes. At first I thought it was Hades' doing, but maybe it is just adjusting to the world he is accustomed to. Adam also knows how to cope, and calls for his horse. He also questions himself as to why he was chosen for this, but that is only normal when others could have done it. I think Adam is doing a good job. He is taking charge, and the animals have been given their instructions.
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Very nice artwork and story to go with it, Rhonda. You did a great job. I like how you divided it into two parts. Echo still has to deal with Hades, and he has all kinds of things planned for her, like the clothes she should wear. He certainly wants his own way, as well. If he doesn't get it, he makes them miserable.
Adam appears and has managed to save Hannah and Phillip and also has Sunny. Echo was relieved to hear this news. But Echo doesn't want him sacrificing himself for her. She is also glad that Theo has a mission. Adam and Echo share information about each other, and I think that helps both of them as far as their potential plans are concerned. I also like the little "meow" at the end of this section.
The last section is also very good until it seems something has arisen that is practically blinding Adam's eyes. At first I thought it was Hades' doing, but maybe it is just adjusting to the world he is accustomed to. Adam also knows how to cope, and calls for his horse. He also questions himself as to why he was chosen for this, but that is only normal when others could have done it. I think Adam is doing a good job. He is taking charge, and the animals have been given their instructions.
Comment Written 05-May-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Hi Pam,
Thank you for the six stars!!! I appreciate the time you took on the review and on the detailed response.
I actually have a two-fold purpose with the Hades character. Part of it is representing Satan, but another is anyone controlling, a man in this case. You caught onto that in this narrative. Hades, or Satan, is not the only person out there who can be good looking, suave and a demon beneath the surface, controlling a person, and when they don't do what he wants, using fear to get his way.
The purpose behind the blinding light, and something I need to go back in a clarify, is Phillip's eyes, being so used to the dark, getting blinded by the light. It is both natural and metaphoric, which I think you also caught onto.
Thanks again, my friend,
Rhonda
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You are very welcome and deserving of the stars and review, Rhonda. Thanks for sharing everything about Hades and Phillip. Did you mean Phillip's eyes or Adam's eyes, or is that the clarification you are talking about?
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Let me go check. It was supposed to be Phillip, but I may have made a mistake on names.
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I could've gotten it wrong, too.
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It says Phillip now, lol. It's hard to keep characters where they belong sometimes.
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Glad you figured it out.
Comment from Teri7
Rhonda, This is a very interesting and well written chapter. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I look forward to your next chapter! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Rhonda, This is a very interesting and well written chapter. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I look forward to your next chapter! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 04-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Hi Teri, thank you so much for reviewing the chapter. I hope the next one works for you, too.
Take care,
Rhonda
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You are so welcome It is very interesting! love and blessings, Teri
Comment from royowen
So Echo has developed an unexpected ally in Adam, and they will work together while Adam hides from Hades, knowing that Hades doesn't really regard Adan as a threat, meanwhile Philip has got Hannah closish to home. Well done, great post Rhonda, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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So Echo has developed an unexpected ally in Adam, and they will work together while Adam hides from Hades, knowing that Hades doesn't really regard Adan as a threat, meanwhile Philip has got Hannah closish to home. Well done, great post Rhonda, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 04-May-2024
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Hi Roy,
Thank you so much for your comprehensive and intuitive review!! I'm so happy you've stayed with me all this time with my fantasy prose. Your presence here is priceless,
Rhonda
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Most welcome Rhonda
Comment from Daylily
I totally love this series, my friend. The animals are all fitting in believably, and that is a bonus. I like the loyalty aspect, as well.
Honestly, I am learning a lot about Greek mythology (and probably some Roman, too). I have always thought it was interesting, but never delved into it very deeply.
I am always looking forward to reading the next chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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I totally love this series, my friend. The animals are all fitting in believably, and that is a bonus. I like the loyalty aspect, as well.
Honestly, I am learning a lot about Greek mythology (and probably some Roman, too). I have always thought it was interesting, but never delved into it very deeply.
I am always looking forward to reading the next chapter. :-)
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Lily, thank you for the six stars, my friend!!! What a welcome surprise!!!
I enjoyed your comments as well. I tend to put animals in all my books. I'm an animal person anyway, but they also add another element to the story. Something innocent and loving.
As you can tell, I love Greek Mythology. I have my older sister to thank for that. We used to play school where she was the teacher and she would teach me the Mythology. Not sure why, but I had to be a good student, lol. She gave out stars.
Take care, and thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from rspoet
Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter for the book. I particularly enjoyed the stealth
of Adam as he sneaks his way to Echo's "prison."
Unlike Zeus' lifestyle, I never read of Hades being polygamous. So that may bode well for Echo. Too bad Persephone didn't eat only one pomegranate seed. Winters would be shorter, and we'd have eleven months of good weather. :)
I suspect Adam will run into some trouble, and Theo will be the only one who can help Echo. Theo and Echo appear to be inked by destiny (or prophecy)
as well as the alphabet Theo/Cheo or Etho/Echo.
Phillip has done his job well. He and the animals may also return soon.
Oh the tangled lives of the Greek gods.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Hello Rhonda,
Another marvelous chapter for the book. I particularly enjoyed the stealth
of Adam as he sneaks his way to Echo's "prison."
Unlike Zeus' lifestyle, I never read of Hades being polygamous. So that may bode well for Echo. Too bad Persephone didn't eat only one pomegranate seed. Winters would be shorter, and we'd have eleven months of good weather. :)
I suspect Adam will run into some trouble, and Theo will be the only one who can help Echo. Theo and Echo appear to be inked by destiny (or prophecy)
as well as the alphabet Theo/Cheo or Etho/Echo.
Phillip has done his job well. He and the animals may also return soon.
Oh the tangled lives of the Greek gods.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 03-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Hi Robert,
Thank you for the generous six stars, especially since I posted so late in the week. Funny you should mention Hades' monogamy. Yes, it will play a factor near the end, lol. You always catch the subtleties.
I think Persephone managed to eat just one in Texas. We have a nasty way of having Summer all year long, or extended Spring this year as we've had nothing but rain for weeks. It's drowned out what we had managed to get planted between torrential downpours.
You lost me on the Theo/Cheo and Etho/Echo part. Clarify and I will probably put it in a chapter like I did last time, lol.
Phillip means well, bless his heat (like we say down south), and so does Adam. You're right that it will eventually fall back in Theo's lap, but poor Echo will not leave the caves unscathed. Unmarried, yes, unscathed, no.
Take care,
Rhonda
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Ony a little anagram of the letters, the names are only one letter apart T/C.
Just the way my strange mind works.
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Ahhhh, okay. I forget you have a poet's heart. Believe it or not, I try to be poetic now and then in the chapters. I would write more poetry on here, but there are so many fancy forms out there and brilliant poets...
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from jlsavell
Good evening Rhonda,
Your talent and imagination are to be envied.
Yes, I have only read this chapter, but it's drawing. The characters' dialogue is believable and the setting scene of a single chapter is vivid. Biblical and mythological names are more than interesting.
I do appreciate the summary of the previous chapters and the characters. I hope to visit all the chapters and celebrate a wonderful novel with you when you publish it.
Jimi
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Good evening Rhonda,
Your talent and imagination are to be envied.
Yes, I have only read this chapter, but it's drawing. The characters' dialogue is believable and the setting scene of a single chapter is vivid. Biblical and mythological names are more than interesting.
I do appreciate the summary of the previous chapters and the characters. I hope to visit all the chapters and celebrate a wonderful novel with you when you publish it.
Jimi
Comment Written 02-May-2024
reply by the author on 03-May-2024
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Hi Jimi!!! Thank you so much for dropping in to review! And, thank you for the lovely, late week, stars!!! What a gift!!!
It's always good to get perspective from people who have just started reading. It helps me know if my chapters can be understandable regardless of their order in the book. I try to work on "stand alones".
The Biblical and mythological names are intentional, though a bit loosely aligned at times. I also mess with Greek Mythology for the story, lol.
Take care,
Rhonda