Right in the Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Right in the Eye, ch 12"The adventures and reaches of people with a divine
10 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
They are doing a good job of chasing down Ben Persons, who has a fascinating past as a man sent to prison, set to be executed, then charged with escape, and then exonerated. The best news is discovering he has a living son. You keep the story exciting and have no mistakes, as usual. The font looks black to me.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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They are doing a good job of chasing down Ben Persons, who has a fascinating past as a man sent to prison, set to be executed, then charged with escape, and then exonerated. The best news is discovering he has a living son. You keep the story exciting and have no mistakes, as usual. The font looks black to me.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2024
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Thank you. And thank you for the feedback about the font. It's odd - as I type this, my type is black, but your review is gray.
Comment from Jim Wile
I really enjoyed this chapter, Wayne. Slim and Mary learned quite a lot in their mission to find Ben's God. It was fun reliving Ben's adventures as they learned about them.
There were many endearing parts to this chapter. "Copies. Can you imagine that?" I loved it, and also his fascination to learn that there were now 50 states. I also loved this expression: "I'da banged him on his ear with a pickax." How did you ever come up with that?
Well, now they're off to find Ben Paul, and we finally see how he ties into this story. Good writing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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I really enjoyed this chapter, Wayne. Slim and Mary learned quite a lot in their mission to find Ben's God. It was fun reliving Ben's adventures as they learned about them.
There were many endearing parts to this chapter. "Copies. Can you imagine that?" I loved it, and also his fascination to learn that there were now 50 states. I also loved this expression: "I'da banged him on his ear with a pickax." How did you ever come up with that?
Well, now they're off to find Ben Paul, and we finally see how he ties into this story. Good writing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you!
And thank you immensely for the six stars!
Comment from BethShelby
I thought it was the young Ben Paul who has rescued Slim but it seems to be the older Ben they have been tracing. I'm surprised that Ben Paul is still alive. It will be good to reconnect with him. This story of Mary and Slim is interesting and has been full of twists and turns.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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I thought it was the young Ben Paul who has rescued Slim but it seems to be the older Ben they have been tracing. I'm surprised that Ben Paul is still alive. It will be good to reconnect with him. This story of Mary and Slim is interesting and has been full of twists and turns.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Slim was shot in the eye in 1886.
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray! They will finally meet Ben Paul. I guess a gold nugget with quartz can work wonders through some bureaucracy and even get them archive copies! Now the Diddleknoppers have become true history investigators and found the son of Ben Persons!
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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Hooray! They will finally meet Ben Paul. I guess a gold nugget with quartz can work wonders through some bureaucracy and even get them archive copies! Now the Diddleknoppers have become true history investigators and found the son of Ben Persons!
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2024
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smiley face here
Thank you!
It took a while to get here, but...
I just hope the wait will have been worth it.
Comment from Ric Myworld
The font appears more gray because there isn't enough black in it. LOL. Okay, I just had to be silly about it. It just make me think back to why bird fly in a lopsided V with more birds on one side, drafting of the other birds to rest. One side is longer because it has more birds. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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The font appears more gray because there isn't enough black in it. LOL. Okay, I just had to be silly about it. It just make me think back to why bird fly in a lopsided V with more birds on one side, drafting of the other birds to rest. One side is longer because it has more birds. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Thank you, I think.
smiley face here
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I think Ben would have been very happy that this man he dragged down from the mountains across his horse, shot in the eye, not only survived but went on to research Ben himself.
Well, this is an exciting development! Slim and Mary will get it from the horse's mouth - sorta.
I'm looking forward to that conversation:-)
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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I think Ben would have been very happy that this man he dragged down from the mountains across his horse, shot in the eye, not only survived but went on to research Ben himself.
Well, this is an exciting development! Slim and Mary will get it from the horse's mouth - sorta.
I'm looking forward to that conversation:-)
xo
Pam
Comment Written 15-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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smiley face here.
Thank you. I was hoping this angle would work.
Comment from Wendy G
An enjoyable chapter. You do very well with their way of speaking and I can now "hear" them talking, in my head ( if you know what I mean!) I like your clever way of merging past and present, and I am looking forward to more of what they discover about Ben and his God.
Well written.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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An enjoyable chapter. You do very well with their way of speaking and I can now "hear" them talking, in my head ( if you know what I mean!) I like your clever way of merging past and present, and I am looking forward to more of what they discover about Ben and his God.
Well written.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Thank you. I appreciate your support. As I said, I wasn't sure whether this approach would work or not.
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It?s very imaginative, and I have never seen it attempted before, so it?s both interesting and intriguing.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Starting in the middle but i had no problem understanding it. I found it interesting. But I still miss Ben and the missus together. Have a good week. Karen :-)
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Starting in the middle but i had no problem understanding it. I found it interesting. But I still miss Ben and the missus together. Have a good week. Karen :-)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2024
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Thank you.
I agree that the dynamic is different.
But I was very close to repetitive predictability.
Comment from Sallyo
Bouncing into the middle like this is awkward, but this chapter is really fun. I caught on to the dialect and situation pretty quickly. One thing I think is a typo is
gettin'easier
Needs a space.
Time travel? Mystical experience? Reincarnation? I'll just have to check out more.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Bouncing into the middle like this is awkward, but this chapter is really fun. I caught on to the dialect and situation pretty quickly. One thing I think is a typo is
gettin'easier
Needs a space.
Time travel? Mystical experience? Reincarnation? I'll just have to check out more.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thank you very much.
It's great of you to 'jump' in. This is actually chapter 122. I'd be happy to try to give you the gist, but I don't want to push.
Bless you for the six stars!
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So you're another one who writes long books and chops them up later. Gist away... I often have to. It's annoying when someone hops in at ch 23 and complains that I haven't described my MC.
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This is ch 122.
Ben Persons was a man who followed God's call. Miracles followed him. He was killed in CO, buried in a cave in. God restored him, but until after friends buried an empty box. He went to Chicago and fought gangsters, then to SF. Being a bit hasty and ahead of God, he was convicted of murder and sentenced to hang. God put him in the middle of a jailbreak. Ben escaped to Alaska after marrying a girl along the way. He died for real after killing the 'Bad Man of Alaska'. The story picked up in the boy who became a man from Chicago who'd been mentored by Ben. Ben's widow and son helped 'Tony' kill gangmembers. Tony and Ben had both been true men of God. Here, Slim awloke from a coma after 70 years. Ben had saved him in Creede, CO in 1886, spending days ministering to him while Slim was unconscious. Slim and his bride are in search of the God of the man who'd saved him so many years before. I attribute Slim's longevity and youthfulness to a miracle while cared for by Ben.
The action has been heavy on Christian values and miraculous events.
Hope that's enough 'gist'.
smiley face here
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Thanks. I like it. I'll tune in for the next chapter. You're probably not old enough to remember "The Second Hundred Years" which was on TV in the late 60s or early 70s...
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I'm plenty old enough, but don't remember 'The Second Hundred Years'
Comment from royowen
Slim and Mary continue their search for the person and personality of Ben Persons, and are finding out more and more. We humans are too quick to draw our own conclusions and guess, we should be guided by God's hand. Mind you they don't know that, This is beautifully written Wayne, well done blessings Roy
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Slim and Mary continue their search for the person and personality of Ben Persons, and are finding out more and more. We humans are too quick to draw our own conclusions and guess, we should be guided by God's hand. Mind you they don't know that, This is beautifully written Wayne, well done blessings Roy
Comment Written 14-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2024
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Thank you for your very nice review.
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Welcome