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The Unwilling Heir

Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Unwilling Heir - Chap 2"
A Mysterious Inheritance and Murders

17 total reviews

Comment from bob cullen

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I can't stop reading. I am in awe of your writing ability. And I strongly suggest your keep writing. I can't wait to read the next chapter. I truly am hooked.

Comment Written 31-May-2024

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024

Thank you, Bob. Writing is my healing mechanism and my way of working through life's drama. I mix it all up (well, lately it gets mixed quite well by itself) and see what spills out onto the page. I am thrilled that you are enjoying it.
Thanks again.
Smiles, Carol

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Carol,

Told you I'd be back - just takes me a minute.

Notes:
1.) Don't scare her away unless �¢?"Well, you know the other alternative."
--> Evil Eddie got you

2.) "But honestly, we were waiting impatiently for you, but the donuts would have been a bonus."
--> 'but' x 2

Thanks - gotta go!

Comment Written 03-May-2024

reply by the author on 03-May-2024

i need one of those apps that screams at me when I use repetitive words because my brain certainly doesn't seem to catch them. I shall go immediately and see if I can get it fixed. Thanks for catching another chapter. Hope your day is a good one.
Smiles, Carol

Fixed and thank you as always.

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

I like this story; you are doing a superb job writing it. I will get caught up tonight and wait for the next addition. You do a marvelous job with the dialogue and building suspense.

Comment Written 29-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 30-Mar-2024

Thanks so much for continuing to follow. Feel free to let me know if things don't seem quite right.
Smiles, Carol

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

I'm having fun with this story. There are a lot of questions to be answered, but I've noticed you have placed many fun clues along the way. Chapters 1 and 2 introduce your characters. I think the Detective, Judge, Benny and Lorrie are ghosts. I'm not yet sure about James, even though he disappeared from the cemetery with the others.

Benny is unemployed. But these are the things said about Benny.
Chapter 1 - "He pointed his finger at the widow and mimicked the sound of a gun, holding up his finger."
Chapter 2 = "I might have put some of these people six feet under."

Ah ha! Benny is, or was a hit man.
BTW, I love Lorrie's name.

Comment Written 28-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024

Hi Lorraine! I thought you might like my Lorrie! I hoped you would. And you are the first person to figure out that Benny was a hitman. Gold star for you! Thanks for reading and enjoying...some have not and a couple have sent me private messages that left me screaming and it wasn't from the ghosts. I've never seen such reaction to the story and the writer. Glas you are enjoying and thanks.

Smiles,
Carol

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Sandra has a hard task in front of her, with more enemies than friends. That horrid wife Madeline, well, we all know she was the murderer, she wanted to get her dirty hands on all her late husband's money. But she obviously didn't think he'd left it to anoher member of the family. Great chapter, my friend. I don't have any sixes left, but I promise this deserves one. Well done! :)) Sandra xx

Comment Written 28-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024

Good morning, Sandra...I am in N.C. now with the grandbabies but they are sleeping in so I thought I would try to return some of the reviews. Glad you are enjoying the story...I was scared to death and the PMs I got where wicked. But as long as my favorite writer thinks it's okay, I'm good with it.
Smiles, hugs and love....Carol

Comment from Esther Brown

Excellent

I came back to this one and re-read it because you said some people were getting lost. The only thing on here that caused me some confusion was the ear splitting scream that sounded like a hurt animal but turned out to be a dusty scolding plump grandmotherly sort. Maybe that is intended so I really cannot make any suggestions. I picture her as incongruent. Not sure what her place in the story is yet. Esther

Comment Written 27-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 29-Mar-2024

Hello, Esther
Sorry I am behind but I was traveling and finally got settled with my great granddaughters. I appreciate that you have continued to read the story. I made a change on the scream...thank you
Smiles, Carol

reply by Esther Brown on 29-Mar-2024

I can't wait to get to know her better. I picture her as a mystic maybe, disguised as a housekeeper?

Comment from Gunner Lil

Excellent

This has the ability to be a fine novel.
A lot of information in this chapter about your characters and the plot of the story.
Good dialogue for the most part.
At the end of Chapter One you had the two men sitting on a cement bench- cement is a product that makes a concrete bench.
Thank you for sharing!

Comment Written 27-Mar-2024

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024

Thanks for your thoughts and the review. I appreciate it very much. I did check and according to Lowes the bench can be referred to either way. They are both ingredients to make the bench. Thanks for the suggestions.
Smiles, Carol

reply by Gunner Lil on 28-Mar-2024

I can't believe that an MFA is working in the lawn department of Lowe's.
I was trying to help you to use the proper terminology that any editor would.
Sorry you didn't like my critique.

reply by the author on 28-Mar-2024

I am sorry I meant only to tell you why I used the cement bench. Not a problem. Have a great day.

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

I learn things from every thing you write, and with this story, I've learned that unemployment can unmask hidden talents. Like maybe robbing a banks or becoming a dope dealer. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

Comment Written 26-Mar-2024