Reviews from

Life, Death, Up, Down

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "everybody dies"
short stories

36 total reviews 
Comment from T B Botts
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Holy cats Jim,
what a story! I worked in a native village at the school. I was a spec-ed aid. My daughter taught in the school, fourth grade. Somehow she managed to keep the kids under control and learning, even though many of them came from dysfunctional backrounds, and a large percentage had an IEP. When they graduated from her class, they knew what they needed to know. After they got into junior high there were problems, but they always respected Jennifer, my daughter, even dropping in to see her at her house. Well done on this story.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2024

Comment from Bill Schott
Excellent
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This story has its many recognizable problems that any teacher faces, with the added impossibility of ever being successful in this situation. The sadness and eventual failure is devastating, when a victory of some kind is looked for.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2024

Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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How could any teacher do anything with a group of kids like those? Your story is fascinating and probably true in some instances. You did an excellent job portraying the situation. Nice writing.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    I am very grateful for your words!
Comment from karenina
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

God Bless all teachers who veer outside the lines and reach out to the students who are crying to be heard. It is a nightmare scenario to be "the" student most pick on. In this day and age we have to shake our heads when pedophiles get a slap on the wrist and a truly caring instructor sharing God's word is given ONE warning. I have tears in my eyes...

I'd say I was very much like Sabrina in High School. A brown shoe in w room full of patent leather.

My "teacher" was Mr. Kaplan. He lifted me higher than I could have ever lifted myself. If he had not... I would have been yet another statistic.

Love this.

Everybody DOES hurt...

Karenina

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 14-Feb-2024
    I appreciate your words. You are very special and a terrific writer. In the FS school, you lead the way!
reply by karenina on 15-Feb-2024
    Oh! My! I'm humbled! Thanks, Jim!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2024
    You are worthy! In event you're interested, I have had such a problem this morning. I tried to post Part Two of my continuing story, "Stray Goat On A Risky Hill," Instead of Chapter Two, it printed Chapter One. Then I got Chapter Two to print, but it still says "Chapter One." What a way to start a day!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Excellent
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Oh, I want to read more of this! I think Mr Arnoley will get those kids sorted out, he has God on his side, and no one is stronger than Him. That poor girl. Children can be the cruelest people on Earth when they want to be. But most of them would be scared of their own shadow when faced with a problem on their own. This was excellent writing, Jim. And I mean it, I do want to read more! Good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    From you that is a true compliment! I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from estory
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I thought you did a great job delineating the characters in this pretty tense story, the teacher being mocked by the disrespectful students, the shy, lonely girl looking for some kind of rescue who ends up dragging the teacher into this unpleasant situation. The dialogue was sharp, the tension just yanked at the readers here. The moral of the story is that it's really hard to reach out to people in this day and age, the culture of our time being what it is. And religion is being handcuffed, instead of the criminals. It really shows how a well meaning person can be taken into a dark place, and how hard it is to stay on the level and avoid becoming just the tormentors. estory

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a wonderful contest, and you have written an outstanding entry for it. Your characters are well developed and the tension between them is palpable. I especially liked the way the teacher said there was no room in the class for both him and the pupils. Your Sabrina reminded me of Stephen King's Carrie. I would like to see more of this before the suicide. Couldn't you think about turning it into a novella? It has a great deal of potential for expansion. kay

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I might do that one day. I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from nomi338
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Sometimes, hell most times, the hardest thing to do is to not respond in kind to the very severe tests that the devil will toss at you. Believe me, he knows what he is doing. The devil has the time, the patience and the ability to watch us and take note of what sets us off, He is not going to allow us to do good when he can force us to do bad. To respond to provocation with anger and violence. When we do, he wins, we lose. This is a wonderful post. I hope that you will continue with a part two, s I am all the way involved with this story and its antagonists.

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Severa; have suggesated that. I will request the "muse" to work on that. I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Different classrooms for different generations, that's for sure. None of this unruly and disrespectful nonsense would have been allowed in my day. But today, it seems the younger generation is allowed to have the upper hand. Your story was so real and painful.

Hugs, Carol

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.
Comment from Brenda Strauser
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed reading this. I taught special education for 18 years. I taught in the city too.at a high school. It was very hard. I had some rough times. But not like yours. Very well written. Great job

 Comment Written 13-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 13-Feb-2024
    Don't ask me about my nightmare job, like my character, given the task of starting a Learning Center. But my P.C. years with challenged adults were some of the best in my life. I am honored and humbled. Tomorrow, for Valentine's Day, I am posting two very different "love" stories.