Lair Of The Seductress
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "395 Rest Area"Book Four Wolf Bend Series
10 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Well, sir, this is some mighty fine writing and a story that keeps this reader glued to his seat wondering what will come next. I never bring up suggestions, but isn't naked (completely) without clothes? It's great either way, just sometimes it's nice to bring up other people's perspectives. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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Well, sir, this is some mighty fine writing and a story that keeps this reader glued to his seat wondering what will come next. I never bring up suggestions, but isn't naked (completely) without clothes? It's great either way, just sometimes it's nice to bring up other people's perspectives. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 25-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Ric! I appreciate your awesome review.
D
Comment from royowen
Wow! Little piles of ash and a body with a hole in the chest where a heart might have been, the policeman in charge has been around the traps a little while, but he's seen these scenes before, and he knows about Lilith, beautifully written Douglas, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Wow! Little piles of ash and a body with a hole in the chest where a heart might have been, the policeman in charge has been around the traps a little while, but he's seen these scenes before, and he knows about Lilith, beautifully written Douglas, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you, my friend. I am glad that you are back for another chapter!
D
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Well done
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
It sounds like Chief Greg Harsen is the expert every one wants on the case. The crime scene is very creepy,
i love crime and horror movies and books, your chapter is my kind of story.
You are an exceptional and versatile writer. I look forward to the next chapter.
Well done.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by
reason." - Novalis
I guess FBI Agent David Harkins and Greg are not friendly.... Simpaticos...
FBI Agent David Harkins, a man who really doesn't like him. W
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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It sounds like Chief Greg Harsen is the expert every one wants on the case. The crime scene is very creepy,
i love crime and horror movies and books, your chapter is my kind of story.
You are an exceptional and versatile writer. I look forward to the next chapter.
Well done.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by
reason." - Novalis
I guess FBI Agent David Harkins and Greg are not friendly.... Simpaticos...
FBI Agent David Harkins, a man who really doesn't like him. W
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Thank you so much, MariVal. This means a lot coming from you!!!
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You are welcome 😊
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Very good. I am hooked. Good thong I have you in my mail box. I was in hibernation when you started this. Winter is a bad time for me. I am all psyched for this. keep it coming. Karen
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Very good. I am hooked. Good thong I have you in my mail box. I was in hibernation when you started this. Winter is a bad time for me. I am all psyched for this. keep it coming. Karen
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Did you read all three chapters?
1) Lithith kills truck driver
2) drunk anniversary Greg and Jenny
3) Greg goes to the crime scene.
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Yes sir mister man,. I read it all. only 3 entire books to go!
Karen :-)
Comment from Ulla
This a great chapter and a bit of deja vu for Greg. Now he finally understands why he's been called to this particular crime scene. It's well written and I will be looking forward to reading on. Obviously, the woman needs catching. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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This a great chapter and a bit of deja vu for Greg. Now he finally understands why he's been called to this particular crime scene. It's well written and I will be looking forward to reading on. Obviously, the woman needs catching. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Thank you! Things are certainly moving along!
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Intriguing continuation of past accounts that seemingly you have a need to hold on to even now. I read your last adventure from beginning to end and liked it so much here I am again. Good stuff.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Intriguing continuation of past accounts that seemingly you have a need to hold on to even now. I read your last adventure from beginning to end and liked it so much here I am again. Good stuff.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Tom! The series is interwoven. It will make sense later, hopefully.
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I know. I feel like Candy and Alan, where he runs up on the curb now and then but he gets where she needs to go.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice progress with the relationships within the story.
and "lookie loos". other than 'No Comment'. - I like that you put the punctuation after your quotes since you are only using them to emphasize words or phrases, not as dialogue. But for consistency, you should use single quotes around 'lookie loos' as you have throughout the chapter.
and more specifically to you." - A comma after 'specifically' would read better.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Nice progress with the relationships within the story.
and "lookie loos". other than 'No Comment'. - I like that you put the punctuation after your quotes since you are only using them to emphasize words or phrases, not as dialogue. But for consistency, you should use single quotes around 'lookie loos' as you have throughout the chapter.
and more specifically to you." - A comma after 'specifically' would read better.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thanks Wayne! You are always helpful!
Comment from Faith Williams
Hello, Douglas, I hope you are well. I see you've started another Wolf Bend story. Excited to see where it leads. Like how you've brought in previous characters.
'Jesse and Greg (made) their way through the throng of people... ' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb-pushed or weaved, depending on what you want to convey.
'... joined up with what appeared to be (thre) 'brain trust' part of the disorganization.' Just a typo-I think it should be 'the'.
'They shook hands with Agent Harkins, Lee, Sheriff (Warson), and Sgt Winston.' I think it should be 'Watson'.
"This can't be good if you called me out here Harkins." A comma is needed after 'here'.
'Red smears and droplets (were all over) the windows, steering wheel, and seats.' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb-covered, blanketed, coated.
'He leaned in and (peered) into the sleeper cabin.' You used 'peered' before. Maybe switch it out for surveyed or scanned.
'The only thing covering the nude man was a sheet of dried crimson blood. It pretty much covered him from head to toe and emanated from a fist-sized hole in his chest, right where the heart should have been,' I think you could work these two sentences a little differently to avoid repeating yourself: 'A sheet of dried crimson blood covered the nude man from head to toe. The source of the spray emanated from a fist-sized hole in his chest, right where the heart should have been.' Also, it should be a period instead of a comma at the end there.
"So, how's this guy linked to the Stogger's... " Stoggers doesn't need an apostrophe here.
'Old man Stogger and his (two son's bodies) had never been found.' In this sentence the apostrophe should be: two sons' bodies
'Agent Harkins (gave) the sheriff a 'don't interrupt me again' look.' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb: threw, glared (at), scowled (at)
'You took down Serial Killer Henry Morgan twice.' I don't think serial killer needs to be capitalized unless it's some sort of police protocol to do so.
"Task Force?" Force in this sentence doesn't need to be capitalized.
'Harkins (gave) Bill (an annoyed look).' Again, maybe replace with a stronger verb: threw, glowered.
"The entire FBI in the State of Washington has had their fingers in this pie and we're getting nowhere." You need a comma after 'pie'.
"Because of Bernard, here.' No comma needed here.
"Yes, but you didn't work for Bill Watson before and you aren't dating FBI Agent Lee.' A comma is needed after 'before'.
Great chapter, Douglas. I look forward to reading the next one.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Hello, Douglas, I hope you are well. I see you've started another Wolf Bend story. Excited to see where it leads. Like how you've brought in previous characters.
'Jesse and Greg (made) their way through the throng of people... ' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb-pushed or weaved, depending on what you want to convey.
'... joined up with what appeared to be (thre) 'brain trust' part of the disorganization.' Just a typo-I think it should be 'the'.
'They shook hands with Agent Harkins, Lee, Sheriff (Warson), and Sgt Winston.' I think it should be 'Watson'.
"This can't be good if you called me out here Harkins." A comma is needed after 'here'.
'Red smears and droplets (were all over) the windows, steering wheel, and seats.' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb-covered, blanketed, coated.
'He leaned in and (peered) into the sleeper cabin.' You used 'peered' before. Maybe switch it out for surveyed or scanned.
'The only thing covering the nude man was a sheet of dried crimson blood. It pretty much covered him from head to toe and emanated from a fist-sized hole in his chest, right where the heart should have been,' I think you could work these two sentences a little differently to avoid repeating yourself: 'A sheet of dried crimson blood covered the nude man from head to toe. The source of the spray emanated from a fist-sized hole in his chest, right where the heart should have been.' Also, it should be a period instead of a comma at the end there.
"So, how's this guy linked to the Stogger's... " Stoggers doesn't need an apostrophe here.
'Old man Stogger and his (two son's bodies) had never been found.' In this sentence the apostrophe should be: two sons' bodies
'Agent Harkins (gave) the sheriff a 'don't interrupt me again' look.' Maybe switch out for a stronger verb: threw, glared (at), scowled (at)
'You took down Serial Killer Henry Morgan twice.' I don't think serial killer needs to be capitalized unless it's some sort of police protocol to do so.
"Task Force?" Force in this sentence doesn't need to be capitalized.
'Harkins (gave) Bill (an annoyed look).' Again, maybe replace with a stronger verb: threw, glowered.
"The entire FBI in the State of Washington has had their fingers in this pie and we're getting nowhere." You need a comma after 'pie'.
"Because of Bernard, here.' No comma needed here.
"Yes, but you didn't work for Bill Watson before and you aren't dating FBI Agent Lee.' A comma is needed after 'before'.
Great chapter, Douglas. I look forward to reading the next one.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2024
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Hi! Hope all is well. Thank you for the huge assist!
Comment from Sally Law
I'm enjoying this crime fiction book, D. I'm hooked on getting the woman caught. She's smart, cunning, and doesn't seem to be letting up.
Two small improvements caught by my Apple text reader:
"... his little towm. Town.
Spell out Sergeant, just as you would Captain, Detective, or Lieutenant. My Apple text reader didn't recognize Sgt as a word, and my copy editor says it's a must.
I look forward to catching this woman. Hopefully sooner than later.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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I'm enjoying this crime fiction book, D. I'm hooked on getting the woman caught. She's smart, cunning, and doesn't seem to be letting up.
Two small improvements caught by my Apple text reader:
"... his little towm. Town.
Spell out Sergeant, just as you would Captain, Detective, or Lieutenant. My Apple text reader didn't recognize Sgt as a word, and my copy editor says it's a must.
I look forward to catching this woman. Hopefully sooner than later.
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2024
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Thank you, Sally. Glad you are reviewing this, my friend!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
OH SO GOOD!! Greg isn't happy about being on this task force, but I'm sure it's not going to stop him from being himself and doing what he does. I am also sure Jesse will be involved with him. LOL
What he finds awakens him to the realization that more bad things are coming for him and his little towm. (town)
joined up with what appeared to be thre 'brain trust' part of the disorganization (their????)
"This can't be good if you called me out here Harkins." (comma after 'here')
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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OH SO GOOD!! Greg isn't happy about being on this task force, but I'm sure it's not going to stop him from being himself and doing what he does. I am also sure Jesse will be involved with him. LOL
What he finds awakens him to the realization that more bad things are coming for him and his little towm. (town)
joined up with what appeared to be thre 'brain trust' part of the disorganization (their????)
"This can't be good if you called me out here Harkins." (comma after 'here')
Comment Written 21-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2024
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Thank you! This one gets intense. Appreciate the great rating and helps!