Reviews from

Me. Her. Him

Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Me. Her. Him - Chapter 23 "
A hidden past, a devastating truth.

6 total reviews 
Comment from barbara.wilkey
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I read this out of order. I have that problem. I enjoyed the background information. So Caz is the one who introduced William to Angela. Hmmm.

It was her slamming the front door shut this morning that woke me. (you can omit 'shut', it's understood)

'Oh, she was just tired.' I lie. (comma after 'tired')

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Thank you Barbara.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
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Who ever needs a greasy fry up? I suppose there are a few British people who like a full English, but not me! Ha ha ha, I prefer something rather more healthy. I digress, another fine post and Angela is making excuses for Michelle's bad behaviour here, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Thank you Dolly.
Comment from karenina
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The backstory is essential, I suppose, to fleshing out the conundrum with present day William, the question of Rebecca's paternity, et al.

The sudden switch to the past feels like it needed a longer runway and a soft landing.

I'm a bit off kilter.

Tie me up some loose ends please!

Karenina

 Comment Written 27-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Thank you.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
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This was a bit confusing for me as we 're suddenly back in 1998 and I really wasn't quite ready to leave the present. I know it's your way of filling in the back story but it seemed a bit abrupt. The dynamics between the girls are quite complex and there's a danger now that we might be losing the reader's focus on the plot. Sorry, Jacob, you lost me a bit on this one. Debbie.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Hi Debbie did you read the previous chapter as we moved back to 1998 in chapter 22? Thank you.
Comment from Lea Tonin1
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What a tangled web weave when we practice to deceive.
Another great installment story is winding up to be very interesting. I want to see what happens, not looks like. She's got some issues going on for sure. She's gonna have to take some butt really soon. No issues with grammar esthetic sentence structure or subject. Math once again beautifully written and the great job. Best of luck hope you haven't awesome day!

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Thank you Lea.
Comment from BethShelby
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So William was Caz's boyfriend. No wonder he is concerned he she has disappeared. The pieces are starting to come together but there is still quite a bit missing. MIchelle does see to be the trouble maker in the group since they have the appartment because of her parents I supposed they all feel indebted to her. I'm glad you post this frequently.

 Comment Written 26-Nov-2023


reply by the author on 27-Nov-2023
    Thank you Beth.