Quietly
A guy could learn from this2 total reviews
Comment from Paul Manton
Oh, what a lovely haiku! Trees are so majestic - and so important to us in a million ways. When we weren't worshiping them, we found their bark or their roots could heal us of a multitude of diseases; they gave us shade and bound the soil to the land, trapping thousands of gallons of water and tons of CO2. When we were stupid enough to fell them for profit, we created deserts, drought and misery.
'Quietly the pine' has assonance to begin the poem - 'fills the air, cushions the ground' is a balance of the dimensions of a great woodland giant, and the satori adds alliteration to complete a great poem.
No sixes today, I'm afraid, but deserved.
Paul
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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Oh, what a lovely haiku! Trees are so majestic - and so important to us in a million ways. When we weren't worshiping them, we found their bark or their roots could heal us of a multitude of diseases; they gave us shade and bound the soil to the land, trapping thousands of gallons of water and tons of CO2. When we were stupid enough to fell them for profit, we created deserts, drought and misery.
'Quietly the pine' has assonance to begin the poem - 'fills the air, cushions the ground' is a balance of the dimensions of a great woodland giant, and the satori adds alliteration to complete a great poem.
No sixes today, I'm afraid, but deserved.
Paul
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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Thank you for the review and for all you shared here. Our species lacks a lot.
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Thanks, Nicki. I always love your writing.
Paul
Comment from RodG
There has always been an aura Hollywood-made about the "strong, silent type." Gary Cooper comes to mind. I like how you have used a tall pine tree to symbolize him. I especially like line two. Rod
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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There has always been an aura Hollywood-made about the "strong, silent type." Gary Cooper comes to mind. I like how you have used a tall pine tree to symbolize him. I especially like line two. Rod
Comment Written 24-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2023
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Thanks for the review and the affirmation that I am not the only one who remembers the strong silent reference