Spectre
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Dark Spot"This is book two of a trilogy book 1 "Ghost"
17 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
It reads like you definitely have a story to tell.
Here are a couple tine glitches.
...and exclaimed, "Hey who's that?" The man turned... Maybe a comma after 'Hey'?
Can't turn you out lookin like that." Said the man waving me in. - "...that," said the man (comma and lower case 'S')
"Thank you." I said quietly. - Prob'ly not mandatory, but I would use a comma instead of the period.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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It reads like you definitely have a story to tell.
Here are a couple tine glitches.
...and exclaimed, "Hey who's that?" The man turned... Maybe a comma after 'Hey'?
Can't turn you out lookin like that." Said the man waving me in. - "...that," said the man (comma and lower case 'S')
"Thank you." I said quietly. - Prob'ly not mandatory, but I would use a comma instead of the period.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Hello Wayne! Great to hear from you.Great to see you here! As always, your reviews are constructive. Helpful and write on the moneyAs you know, punctuation is not my strong suit! Thank you very much share your wonderful review as always. And I appreciate you pointing out this to me.That's why you guys are the most awesome! Thank you so much, Wayne. I'm glad to see you here. I hope to see you again and hope you're having amazing night!
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Hello Wayne! Great to hear from you.Great to see you here! As always, your reviews are constructive. Helpful and write on the moneyAs you know, punctuation is not my strong suit! Thank you very much share your wonderful review as always. And I appreciate you pointing out this to me.That's why you guys are the most awesome! Thank you so much, Wayne. I'm glad to see you here. I hope to see you again and hope you're having amazing night!
Comment from papa55mike
I've read several chapters of the other books, and they're brilliantly written. Please check this line: I let it touch my lips.
"Come on girl.
You need a paragraph break there. Best of luck with your writing! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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I've read several chapters of the other books, and they're brilliantly written. Please check this line: I let it touch my lips.
"Come on girl.
You need a paragraph break there. Best of luck with your writing! Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Hi, mike.Thank you so much for reading.I very much appreciate it! I always like to hear the thoughts of the reader. Their opinions on how things are written structure. It's uptick matter all that kind of stuff.I like to hear people's ideas and yours, and thank you so much for the correction which I have made punctuation, is not my strong suit. I hope that you're having the best day and thank you again for stopping in for a read and for your review!
Comment from samandlancelot
Hi Lea,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can understand why returning to your memories can drain you, but it is good to face our past and find healing. It seems like you're doing that through writing. Bravo for you!
took a drive this morning with my dog. The sun bowed once more to the horizon as she sped across the sky. It's cool and clean and crisp.
The passenger window on my car staying down permanently inviting the cool breeze to come and wrap me in its frosty arms. It was invigorating really. (I love these descriptions)
Patricia
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Hi Lea,
Thank you for sharing your story. I can understand why returning to your memories can drain you, but it is good to face our past and find healing. It seems like you're doing that through writing. Bravo for you!
took a drive this morning with my dog. The sun bowed once more to the horizon as she sped across the sky. It's cool and clean and crisp.
The passenger window on my car staying down permanently inviting the cool breeze to come and wrap me in its frosty arms. It was invigorating really. (I love these descriptions)
Patricia
Comment Written 23-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2024
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Thank you, patricia.Thank you so much for reading it for offering your review and your kind thoughts. Appreciate your time too because not everybody has a lot of it so thank you for that as well. I'm happy to have your review and your thoughts on it.I hope that your day is amazing.Thanks again!
Comment from Pearl Edwards
As much as there are bad and brutal people there are nice ones too, and I hope this couple really were kind to young Lea seeking refuge. Well told Lea,
Cheers
Valda
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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As much as there are bad and brutal people there are nice ones too, and I hope this couple really were kind to young Lea seeking refuge. Well told Lea,
Cheers
Valda
Comment Written 11-Dec-2023
reply by the author on 13-Dec-2023
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Hi Valda! Unfortunately, mayham seemed to be attractive to me. Until I realized some things learning the hard way. Growing up some things take a lifetime to pound into a person's head. I appreciate your review, my friend. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you have a fabulous and wonderful day!
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is an interesting post in that it points out how the human sense of dignity, decorum, and decency are almost entirely lost when someone is drunk out of their mind. Good thing you got out of there. The joke about fellowship was a great memory to include. I am hoping you find a safe place to sleep at last.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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This is an interesting post in that it points out how the human sense of dignity, decorum, and decency are almost entirely lost when someone is drunk out of their mind. Good thing you got out of there. The joke about fellowship was a great memory to include. I am hoping you find a safe place to sleep at last.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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Thank you very much For your amazing and kind review! Your empathy you're understanding is really great! There was to learn and I knew how to survive I'm extreme circumstances. Thank you for your kindness. Your wonderful review and your fine rating appreciate this very much. I sound like a broken record. I know. I keep saying thank you and appreciate you. But those are the facts and that is the truth. Thank you so much again. have a great day!
Comment from Wendyanne
I guess I should have read this before I read the next chapter but at least I understand the context of that chapter better after reading this one. I can't even try to imagine the things you have been through and my heart goes out to you.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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I guess I should have read this before I read the next chapter but at least I understand the context of that chapter better after reading this one. I can't even try to imagine the things you have been through and my heart goes out to you.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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That's very kind of you. Thank you so much for saying that I appreciate it. I'm always surprised when people off of their hand like that. And so for me it is gold thanks again glad to see you here!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Here we go again. You've stepped out into the wild blue yonder, not knowing what to expect, or how you will continue. An accomplished fiction writer couldn't create a more compelling story. Unfortunately, this is an account of true events. So far in your young life, you are learning you can't trust people. Everyone so far has failed you. I'm amazed at how you continue to push on.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Here we go again. You've stepped out into the wild blue yonder, not knowing what to expect, or how you will continue. An accomplished fiction writer couldn't create a more compelling story. Unfortunately, this is an account of true events. So far in your young life, you are learning you can't trust people. Everyone so far has failed you. I'm amazed at how you continue to push on.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much for your kindness and thoughtful review. I didn't know there was a choice, I guess death or life I chose life. View, that's always I'm happy to see you here. You're a wonderful comment and any suggestions for edit are gold to me. I thank you so much for your inside as well have a wonderful day!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I read this out of order. Sorry, I have a bad habit of doing that. I do want to mention to keep an eye on writing dialogue. The story is great.
"Who's here?! (either question mark of or exclamation mark, not both, and in other areas, & ver here when I call you!" The man lower case 't' on 'the)
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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I read this out of order. Sorry, I have a bad habit of doing that. I do want to mention to keep an eye on writing dialogue. The story is great.
"Who's here?! (either question mark of or exclamation mark, not both, and in other areas, & ver here when I call you!" The man lower case 't' on 'the)
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Thank you so much again! I appreciate this so much and take all your kind remarks and suggestions for change! Thank you for your time too as your a busy lady!
Comment from BethShelby
I read this one out of order so now I understand how you got in the folding chair and why you had had brandy. I assume the house where you had to flee from must have been the friend's house where you were staying and the girls mother worked nights. Sorry I missed this one early but I'm glad I'm up to date.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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I read this one out of order so now I understand how you got in the folding chair and why you had had brandy. I assume the house where you had to flee from must have been the friend's house where you were staying and the girls mother worked nights. Sorry I missed this one early but I'm glad I'm up to date.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Let's find no problem or do the same thing with other people's work. Thank you again. I'm happy to see you here as always. I feel like having a big fashion that we all met up once bought in.
Just because people have been so great including yourself! Thank you so much!! You're reviewing your fine rating always welcome! My liked how engaged you are. I find it very supportive and uplifting. Thank you so much for that. It's a great gift!
Comment from Jim Wile
Oh, no, Lea. Out of the frying pan and into the fire for you. How unlucky for you (and your friend, of course) to have chosen a house to stay in with another loser male at the head of the household. If anyone deserved a break, it was you.
Although you've found some temporary friends in the homeless couple, you won't be able to stay with them for long. I shudder to think what you are thinking about people now. How do not become completely jaded after what you've experienced in life?
I loved your poem at the beginning. Just one tip on the meter--It was perfect except for this line: "Knowing now there'll be no retreat." If you changed it to, "Knowing now there's no retreat" it will match the meter of the rest.
This was another fine chapter in your continuing saga. - Jim
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Oh, no, Lea. Out of the frying pan and into the fire for you. How unlucky for you (and your friend, of course) to have chosen a house to stay in with another loser male at the head of the household. If anyone deserved a break, it was you.
Although you've found some temporary friends in the homeless couple, you won't be able to stay with them for long. I shudder to think what you are thinking about people now. How do not become completely jaded after what you've experienced in life?
I loved your poem at the beginning. Just one tip on the meter--It was perfect except for this line: "Knowing now there'll be no retreat." If you changed it to, "Knowing now there's no retreat" it will match the meter of the rest.
This was another fine chapter in your continuing saga. - Jim
Comment Written 20-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2023
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Hi Jim thank you for the suggestion I went ahead and changed it! I so appreciate you here jim you have no idea it's amazing to me! You're fine with you and amazing coments Keeps me standing and forging forward. Yourself and other amazing people have surprised me more than anything and I thank you for that. I hope you're day is awesome!