Me. Her. Him
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Me. Her. Him - Chapter Fourteen"A hidden past, a devastating truth.
7 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This did not move the story at all. Each time a picture is used we must be told where it is from in the author's notes. Each chapter must propel the story further. This one did not. If you edit I will re-read.
Karen
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2023
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This did not move the story at all. Each time a picture is used we must be told where it is from in the author's notes. Each chapter must propel the story further. This one did not. If you edit I will re-read.
Karen
Comment Written 19-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2023
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Thanks.
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:-)
Comment from eliz100
This is an excellent chapter. I do not see any need for improvement. You have moved the story along nicely. Have a blessed day.
Suppose you think about a tree. Usually, there is a main trunk that shoots straight up. Then, other branches fill out the tree's roundness. You are moving your main plot along. I think you need to fill out the tree, just my opinion.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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This is an excellent chapter. I do not see any need for improvement. You have moved the story along nicely. Have a blessed day.
Suppose you think about a tree. Usually, there is a main trunk that shoots straight up. Then, other branches fill out the tree's roundness. You are moving your main plot along. I think you need to fill out the tree, just my opinion.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Thank you.
Comment from karenina
I'm always happy to receive notice you've posted another chapter! This seems to be building and building...
I know things are about to get hairy, and I can't wait!
Two suggestions--
You could eliminate "during her lunch break"--it's redundant.
How can you say this creatively, uniquely your own way? This is rather cliche for your fabulous writing!
"I'm drinking in every detail"
See you with the next chapter!
Karenina
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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I'm always happy to receive notice you've posted another chapter! This seems to be building and building...
I know things are about to get hairy, and I can't wait!
Two suggestions--
You could eliminate "during her lunch break"--it's redundant.
How can you say this creatively, uniquely your own way? This is rather cliche for your fabulous writing!
"I'm drinking in every detail"
See you with the next chapter!
Karenina
Comment Written 18-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2023
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Thank you Karenina I?m really pleased that you enjoyed it.
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Yes...but I'm biting my nails!
:)
Comment from BethShelby
Angela isn't happy about being sent home. I sure she might be imagining what might be said about her while she isn't there. She is quick to come up with reason to explain her being off in the afternoon. I doubt if she intend to share anything with her daughter.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Angela isn't happy about being sent home. I sure she might be imagining what might be said about her while she isn't there. She is quick to come up with reason to explain her being off in the afternoon. I doubt if she intend to share anything with her daughter.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thank you Beth, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from royowen
People sometimes change and we're not sure why, peculiar behaviour is probably the result of some bad experience, or some sort of pressure on us or them, I enjoyed reading the episodic experience with the characters in your story, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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People sometimes change and we're not sure why, peculiar behaviour is probably the result of some bad experience, or some sort of pressure on us or them, I enjoyed reading the episodic experience with the characters in your story, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thank you Roy.
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Most welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This girl is truly terrified of this man, William and I wonder what he must have done and whether he has come back into Angela's life to hurt her in some way. Once again you keep us in suspense with another fine chapter Jacob, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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This girl is truly terrified of this man, William and I wonder what he must have done and whether he has come back into Angela's life to hurt her in some way. Once again you keep us in suspense with another fine chapter Jacob, love Dolly x
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thank you Dolly.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Paul is worried about you, Angela. I wish Angela would come clean about what's going on before it ruins her relationship with everybody. I can't wait to find out. Thank you for sharing this with us. It's well written.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Paul is worried about you, Angela. I wish Angela would come clean about what's going on before it ruins her relationship with everybody. I can't wait to find out. Thank you for sharing this with us. It's well written.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2023
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Thank you Barbara.