Lost my Marbles
A fun poem for the contest.6 total reviews
Comment from Navada
This is very cute! The image is hilarious and you explore your chosen theme in a fun, lively way. I really enjoyed your author's note as well - the humour doesn't just have to stay in the poem itself! :) Thanks for the share and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
This is very cute! The image is hilarious and you explore your chosen theme in a fun, lively way. I really enjoyed your author's note as well - the humour doesn't just have to stay in the poem itself! :) Thanks for the share and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Navada. I'm happy to bring a smile to peoples hearts.
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Hmmmm. I'm feeling a little woozy myself after reading this!
I think this line needs an adjustment:
I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
Is it supposed to be:
"I lay still. Dad thought I was dead"?
Hope you gallop into the Winner's Circle!!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
Hmmmm. I'm feeling a little woozy myself after reading this!
I think this line needs an adjustment:
I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
Is it supposed to be:
"I lay still. Dad thought I was dead"?
Hope you gallop into the Winner's Circle!!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Rachelle. :) I corrected what was wrong, but I did have fun writing this. :)
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I bet! It was a cute read. xo
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. The rhyming for this poem is strong and the small tale is easy to follow. Good entry.
notes:
I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
-I lay still. Dad thought I was dead.
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
Very interesting. The rhyming for this poem is strong and the small tale is easy to follow. Good entry.
notes:
I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
-I lay still. Dad thought I was dead.
Comment Written 10-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Thank you, lancellot. :) I corrected what was wrong, but I did have fun writing this.
Comment from Wy Jung
Funny poem. Clever.
For this line, I wonder if 'though' should be 'thought'?
--I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
Also I was thinking that 'stables' would be a good "tables" replacement... could be that was what you meant and it was just a typo.
That's a fun prompt. I hadn't seen it yet. Maybe I'll have a go at it too!.
Thanks for sharing. ~WY
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
Funny poem. Clever.
For this line, I wonder if 'though' should be 'thought'?
--I lay still, dad, though I was dead.
Also I was thinking that 'stables' would be a good "tables" replacement... could be that was what you meant and it was just a typo.
That's a fun prompt. I hadn't seen it yet. Maybe I'll have a go at it too!.
Thanks for sharing. ~WY
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Wy. :) I corrected what was wrong and I did have fun writing this.
Comment from JT traveller
What better thing to lose than your marbles, particularly if you are oblivious to the fact at the time.
A fantastic entry for the competition. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it l. Best of luck. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
What better thing to lose than your marbles, particularly if you are oblivious to the fact at the time.
A fantastic entry for the competition. I thoroughly enjoyed reading it l. Best of luck. Jacqueline
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Thank you, Jacqueline. :) I did have fun writing it and I corrected it.
Comment from jmdg1954
A complete non-sensical poem that rhymed.
You met the challenges criteria for - something lost - by taking it head on.
Changed yourself into a donkey in the interim, but what the heck! You had fun and so did I.
Good luck in the contest.
John
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
A complete non-sensical poem that rhymed.
You met the challenges criteria for - something lost - by taking it head on.
Changed yourself into a donkey in the interim, but what the heck! You had fun and so did I.
Good luck in the contest.
John
Comment Written 09-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2023
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Thank you, John. :) I corrected what was wrong, but I did have fun. :)