Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

This is like watching the movie, "The Sixth Sense." You had watch it twice to see what clues you missed the first time around and then you kick yourself because it was so obvious that the character is a ghost.
Well done.
Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Oct-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from shelley kaye

Excellent

ooh nice surprise ending!
wasn't expecting her to be a ghost lol

good halloween story
good imagery and action

thank you for sharing and good luck in the contest
shelley :)

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from GWHARGIS

Excellent

Oh my goodness! I really didn't see that coming. The bad news, she passed. The good news, she was perfect for Halloween. This was a feel good Halloween story until you caught on. Then I felt a shiver. Good luck in the contest. Gretchen

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Thank you very much for your excellent review and kind words.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Was she in a lobby? Or her own living room? I guess she became a ghost? So what happened between the young Sadie and the middle-aged Sadie? It's sad she missed out in life.
Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

I didn't want to use hallway twice so close together. I wanted to keep the story short. Maybe I can use a transitional paragraph if it's not clear. ???

Thank you, big sister. Have a wonderful weekend.

Love

Marival

reply by lyenochka on 27-Oct-2023

In prose, you don't have to worry about repeating words. If it's the same place, it helps to let the reader know it's the same place. A lobby is like in a hotel's general waiting and check-in area.

reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

I changed it, I hope is okay now. Thank you, sister.

reply by lyenochka on 27-Oct-2023

I like it!

Comment from aryr

Excellent

Good luck wishes regarding the contest entry, Gypsy. I loved the picture, Bluey was a cartoon character. I actually grew on this. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!!!

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023

Thank you very much, Aryr (*=*) Have a wonderful weekend!

Gypsy hugs

reply by aryr on 27-Oct-2023

You are so welcome, Gypsy.

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

""What a hell ... okay, more candy for me."

On her way back to the sofa, she looked at the hallway mirror and gasped in horror. She didn't see her reflection, just an empty lobby.", ha, ha, ha this was so funny. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023

Thank you, iza,

Gypsy hugs

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this Halloween contest entry with us. Poor Sadie had died. It was a great twist to the story. I figured something was wrong when you switched to Tommy and Ellie, but I didn't figure it out. Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2023

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reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023

Thank you, Barbara. You are one of the best writers on fanstory so your opinion means a lot to me.

gypsy hugs