Me. Her. Him
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Me. Her. Him - Chapter Two"A hidden past, a devastating truth.
14 total reviews
Comment from Navada
What an awkward situation to encounter someone from your past, and particularly someone with power over you, in a job interview. You do a really good job of creating the tension in the chapter here. Thanks for the share!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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What an awkward situation to encounter someone from your past, and particularly someone with power over you, in a job interview. You do a really good job of creating the tension in the chapter here. Thanks for the share!
Comment Written 10-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2024
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Thank you.
Comment from Julie G1
Well written. This story uses an intriguing blend of current status, vivid descriptions of panic, and an apt choice of flashbacks. This all heightens the impending sense of future drama, a situation that needs resolving. The language chosen was effective, with clear and concise dialogue. This tale worked well, the reader anticipates reading more such writing.
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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Well written. This story uses an intriguing blend of current status, vivid descriptions of panic, and an apt choice of flashbacks. This all heightens the impending sense of future drama, a situation that needs resolving. The language chosen was effective, with clear and concise dialogue. This tale worked well, the reader anticipates reading more such writing.
Comment Written 08-Jan-2024
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2024
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Thank you. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Janis M.
Oof, this chapter actually surprisingly hits very closely to home to some personal matters in my own life interestingly enough. It's never fun when those ghosts come back to haunt you.
So far you've been successful setting up a charming but intimidating antagonist that reminds me of a full blown narcissist, especially to bring up such a personal matter in an interview.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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Oof, this chapter actually surprisingly hits very closely to home to some personal matters in my own life interestingly enough. It's never fun when those ghosts come back to haunt you.
So far you've been successful setting up a charming but intimidating antagonist that reminds me of a full blown narcissist, especially to bring up such a personal matter in an interview.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2023
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Thank you Janis, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from karenina
I suspect I have the advantage of reading one chapter right after the previous...
The transition is so much easier when we can follow as we would a book in our hands!
You know very well how to sustain the tension and the mystery here.
Looks like I'll be fanning you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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I suspect I have the advantage of reading one chapter right after the previous...
The transition is so much easier when we can follow as we would a book in our hands!
You know very well how to sustain the tension and the mystery here.
Looks like I'll be fanning you!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-Nov-2023
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2023
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Thank you for reading, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
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Sure do!
Comment from nomi338
There is a person in my past that I dread seeing ever again. Our brief fling was a total mistake on my part, and I pray that we never see each other again ever. Most especially if I am with my wife at the time. Nuff said.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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There is a person in my past that I dread seeing ever again. Our brief fling was a total mistake on my part, and I pray that we never see each other again ever. Most especially if I am with my wife at the time. Nuff said.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Thank you. I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Alexandra Trovato
This is deep. It represents many different people who might have passed through any one of our lives. I was not interviewing criminals during my life, but I could relate to this. That is because it is excellent writing. You use expressive words and imagery to pull your readers into the story. I enjoyed reading this.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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This is deep. It represents many different people who might have passed through any one of our lives. I was not interviewing criminals during my life, but I could relate to this. That is because it is excellent writing. You use expressive words and imagery to pull your readers into the story. I enjoyed reading this.
Best wishes,
Alexandra
Comment Written 27-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2023
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Thank you. I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I enjoyed reading this and it made me want to read more so in order to be notified when you post, I will need to become you fan. I guess you've liked found out all ready that people get upset if they aren't awarded at least 5 stars. We aren't given many sixes to give away so everyone understands and is usually happy with 5.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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I enjoyed reading this and it made me want to read more so in order to be notified when you post, I will need to become you fan. I guess you've liked found out all ready that people get upset if they aren't awarded at least 5 stars. We aren't given many sixes to give away so everyone understands and is usually happy with 5.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you Beth, I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the book.
Comment from Judith B.
This definitely leaves the reader waiting to read more. You build the tension in the story well. I wonder if you might want to use some dialogue within the narrative. Your strength is clearly description and you do it very well. That is my weakness and sometimes I use too much dialogue. So take my suggestion with the proverbial "grain of salt"!
I hope to see the next chapter when it is posted. I'm back here after several years and have not yet re-learned how to navigate the site well.
Good job and I am anxious to hear/read more of this mystery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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This definitely leaves the reader waiting to read more. You build the tension in the story well. I wonder if you might want to use some dialogue within the narrative. Your strength is clearly description and you do it very well. That is my weakness and sometimes I use too much dialogue. So take my suggestion with the proverbial "grain of salt"!
I hope to see the next chapter when it is posted. I'm back here after several years and have not yet re-learned how to navigate the site well.
Good job and I am anxious to hear/read more of this mystery.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2023
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Thank you. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Lisasview
Good afternoon Jacob,
I am not one to read stories because to be honest I just do not have the time. I read poems that take just a few minutes to read.
BUT I saw this one of yours ... read the background and decided I must read it... I also looked over who you are and read that you wrote your first book when you were nine... I wrote my first 3 page story when I was 10...and, poems after that. I did write a story or two for contests here on Fan Story... One about my parents which I actually think you would enjoy.. It is a Romance story... but more importantly a story about my parents...who were famous.
Unbelievable that you are only 28... You must have had some excellent schooling in writing because your story is well written.
I really enjoyed the read,
Lisasview
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Good afternoon Jacob,
I am not one to read stories because to be honest I just do not have the time. I read poems that take just a few minutes to read.
BUT I saw this one of yours ... read the background and decided I must read it... I also looked over who you are and read that you wrote your first book when you were nine... I wrote my first 3 page story when I was 10...and, poems after that. I did write a story or two for contests here on Fan Story... One about my parents which I actually think you would enjoy.. It is a Romance story... but more importantly a story about my parents...who were famous.
Unbelievable that you are only 28... You must have had some excellent schooling in writing because your story is well written.
I really enjoyed the read,
Lisasview
Comment Written 25-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Thank you Lisa, and for your kind words as well. I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
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I really did...hope you have time to read mine...
I do have a poem in the Love contest posted... It will be voted by the committee tomorrow.
I called it
Ruby Red-Blush
I think you might like it...
Lisasview
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
The story is starting to make more sense. You are kind of abstract in the way you explain things in the past. It seems like you are going to explain, but then you don't. These teases may work well on a novel you can read straight through, but in this format, I find them confusing. When explanations are this vague we do not carry them with us to the next chapter. If we read another. The writing is well done. It is the format which Bothers me. Keep writing. Karen
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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The story is starting to make more sense. You are kind of abstract in the way you explain things in the past. It seems like you are going to explain, but then you don't. These teases may work well on a novel you can read straight through, but in this format, I find them confusing. When explanations are this vague we do not carry them with us to the next chapter. If we read another. The writing is well done. It is the format which Bothers me. Keep writing. Karen
Comment Written 24-Oct-2023
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2023
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Thank you Karen, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
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u r welcome Karen :-)