Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 22"Golf's legacy and future
16 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice writing. Good work.
This is a novel way to incorporate several novellas (or short stories) into a full work. Great idea. You can have as many adventures as you can dream up.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Nice writing. Good work.
This is a novel way to incorporate several novellas (or short stories) into a full work. Great idea. You can have as many adventures as you can dream up.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Yes, that's a good way to look at it and a fine idea if I wanted to turn this into a series. However, there will only be 3 excursions into the past before we begin to "save Mr. Calvin" so to speak in part 4.
Comment from JSD
I said I'd give you a cumulative six at the end of Part 1 but I had to wait until today. Thank you for entertaining me for the last month or so with this wonderful story. It's been a great journey and the ending was right up to the mark.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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I said I'd give you a cumulative six at the end of Part 1 but I had to wait until today. Thank you for entertaining me for the last month or so with this wonderful story. It's been a great journey and the ending was right up to the mark.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much John for being a loyal follower of the story and for the six stars. You're very kind.
I hope I can continue to hold your interest as we get into the other Parts of the story beginning on Monday. I've only finished writing through Part 2, so the ending isn't fully formulated yet. We'll see where Parts 2 and 3 take us before we wrap it up in Part 4.
Comment from lancellot
Interesting. It's an almost Isekai/time travel tale. But without stakes or awareness, the question of: What was the point? Comes about. As nothing was changed or altered. There was no objective.
notes:
Where was the wonderful life I had spent the last nine years living?
-Not nine years. Nine years is what we the reader observed, but Kilian lived to be in his twenties and did not know of Kevin in 2032. So, he should remember being 13, 12, 7 and so on, just as Kilian did.
I was there for nine years.
- delete this.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Interesting. It's an almost Isekai/time travel tale. But without stakes or awareness, the question of: What was the point? Comes about. As nothing was changed or altered. There was no objective.
notes:
Where was the wonderful life I had spent the last nine years living?
-Not nine years. Nine years is what we the reader observed, but Kilian lived to be in his twenties and did not know of Kevin in 2032. So, he should remember being 13, 12, 7 and so on, just as Kilian did.
I was there for nine years.
- delete this.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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It will still be a while until you see the point of the time travels, but take my word for it, there is a point to it, and what was changed was Kevin's thinking about the game of golf which will have important consequences when we get to Part 4.
Nine years is what Kevin experienced while in the mind of Kilian, even though in reality it was only seconds for Kevin's body. It's his soul or his consciousness that went through the portal and attached itself to Kilian's consciousness, with no awareness of his own life as Kevin while inside Kilian's mind. Yet, when he comes back it's as if he spent 9 years there because he experienced exactly what Kilian experienced during those 9 years (Kilian's age 14 -23) and remembers it all. He was inside Kilian's brain for those 9 years.
This is a little different from any time travel I've ever read about, and as far as I know, it's my own unique approach to time travel.
Comment from Julie Lau
Hi Jim! I really liked your (temporary) conclusion: it is original and unexpected, and you have left your readers with absolutely no idea as to what will happen next. Roll on Monday!
Julie
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Hi Jim! I really liked your (temporary) conclusion: it is original and unexpected, and you have left your readers with absolutely no idea as to what will happen next. Roll on Monday!
Julie
Comment Written 26-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Well, great, Julie. So glad you enjoyed it. I was hoping to build a bit of suspense. That is the nice thing about posting a novel on FanStory. The reader can't peek ahead and see what's coming.
My wife is famous for reading the last few pages of a book and seeing how it ends so it won't keep her in suspense, but I never do that because I like to see how the author builds up to it and be surprised.
Comment from Paul Manton
Great stuff, Jim! So now I remember - I used to be SAM BECKETT! But I got into the body of this mad academic in London who thinks he can write - what kind of delusion is THAT!
Well, if Quantum Leap or Narnia was the inspiration, I don't remember a story about golf - UNLESS I missed Sam taking over Arnold Palmer. I suppose that could have been a great story.
You got this one absolutely right: as friends, they don't send him off to the funny farm, or ring for security - there is a good balance between incredulity and respect for someone they know is not flaky with the truth.
That's really convincing Jim - and if you can convince me, . . .
Good stuff.
Paul
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Great stuff, Jim! So now I remember - I used to be SAM BECKETT! But I got into the body of this mad academic in London who thinks he can write - what kind of delusion is THAT!
Well, if Quantum Leap or Narnia was the inspiration, I don't remember a story about golf - UNLESS I missed Sam taking over Arnold Palmer. I suppose that could have been a great story.
You got this one absolutely right: as friends, they don't send him off to the funny farm, or ring for security - there is a good balance between incredulity and respect for someone they know is not flaky with the truth.
That's really convincing Jim - and if you can convince me, . . .
Good stuff.
Paul
Comment Written 26-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Well, Sam, that is quite a come-down for you. Better find that portal again and go back! :)
I sure would love to go through a portal and end up in Arnie's body. Maybe he could teach me how to hit the ball properly.
Thanks for your funny and great review, Paul. I love your reviews.
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You're welcome, Jim.
Looking forward to the next one.
Paul
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I have to hand it to you for tackling this time travel piece - not an easy task! Of course, I hope he ends up with Arie again, but who knows if that will happen. We'll find out:-)
Once again, your dialogue paces the story well. See you on Monday for the beginning of part 2 and the next adventure.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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I have to hand it to you for tackling this time travel piece - not an easy task! Of course, I hope he ends up with Arie again, but who knows if that will happen. We'll find out:-)
Once again, your dialogue paces the story well. See you on Monday for the beginning of part 2 and the next adventure.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 26-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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I thought I'd give it a little different spin on the usual time-travel scheme where you jump back in history, but you are still yourself there. With my way, there's no danger of accidentally changing the course of the future when you go back in time or creating some sort of paradox. And no sadness involved for Arie and the kids when Kilian goes into the woods because it's only Kevin who will be going through the portal (out of Kilian's brain), and Kilian will shortly return to his family with Lieke's ball.
As to whether he can jump back into Kilian's brain again, we'll see!
Comment from Jay Squires
Well, you've certainly done it, Jim. You've made the trip back absolutely believable. Even the explanation stands up under literary scrutiny. You've done a marvelous job here, Jim. And you've got me waiting to see if he can return to Holland from under the trestle. Damn this is good reading!
Jay.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Well, you've certainly done it, Jim. You've made the trip back absolutely believable. Even the explanation stands up under literary scrutiny. You've done a marvelous job here, Jim. And you've got me waiting to see if he can return to Holland from under the trestle. Damn this is good reading!
Jay.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2023
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Your very positive review means a great deal to me, Jay, for which I thank you very much.
Incidentally, since completing Part 2 a few days ago, I've had a chance to get back into reading, and I've started Book 2 of The Trining. I'm about 30% into it and finding I'm enjoying it as much as Part 1. Doctrex seems like a natural leader so far--a reasonable and just man who understands much and brooks no nonsense. I'm looking forward to the rest.
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My goodness, Jim. It's for people like you that I keep writing at 84. (And I will be posting tonight.) Also, because you are actually working past the initial "blast" from my novel, I am spurred on to finish the last two chapters of book V. I can't leave even one of my audience hanging.
Jay
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Yeah, well please don't stop. You are an inspiration to me too.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is great. I've always thought time travel would be wonderful and your guys in this only need an old train trestle to go somewhere. Can't wait to see where they are going.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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This is great. I've always thought time travel would be wonderful and your guys in this only need an old train trestle to go somewhere. Can't wait to see where they are going.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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I'm so glad you're enjoying it, Carol. We're ready for a new adventure.
Comment from royowen
This out to be interesting Jim, but I like it. I know there are some theories about space and time, from Einstein I think that time and space is circular and that makes sense to me a great deal, I love this post, what will they see when they go back, well done my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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This out to be interesting Jim, but I like it. I know there are some theories about space and time, from Einstein I think that time and space is circular and that makes sense to me a great deal, I love this post, what will they see when they go back, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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Thank you so much, Roy. I really appreciate the 6 stars. I don't know if time travel will ever be possible, but it's fun to think about. In my version of it, there's no danger of changing the course of the future or creating some sort of paradox like we often see in time travel stories. I thought this would be a nice way to not make Kilian have to leave Arie and his kids after all.
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I know the feeling
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That's true
Comment from lyenochka
Well, congratulations on finishing Part 1. I was afraid Kilian was going to disappear leaving his family worried but you made it just a temporary time / space travel and now we're back to Kevin and friends. Hope they believe him!
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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Well, congratulations on finishing Part 1. I was afraid Kilian was going to disappear leaving his family worried but you made it just a temporary time / space travel and now we're back to Kevin and friends. Hope they believe him!
Comment Written 25-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2023
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Yes, I was hoping to build up the tension and the fear that Arie and the kids would never see Kilian again. That would have been sad. I always prefer happy endings.