Family Bonds
2nd Place Finish17 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
Sorry to be late to this contest. Contests come faster than my eyes can keep up. My vision has taken another turn for the worse recently and everything, including writing and reviewing, takes much longer.
Congratulations on your ribbon!! This was wonderfully penned of the two brothers and the terribly sad outcome. The poor father!
A different one for the mask contest, and creative. A winner in my eyes for sure. Sending you my very best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2023
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Sorry to be late to this contest. Contests come faster than my eyes can keep up. My vision has taken another turn for the worse recently and everything, including writing and reviewing, takes much longer.
Congratulations on your ribbon!! This was wonderfully penned of the two brothers and the terribly sad outcome. The poor father!
A different one for the mask contest, and creative. A winner in my eyes for sure. Sending you my very best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 11-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2023
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Been praying for your eyesight. Thank you for your kindness my good friend.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
The reader, knowing that Cole was innocent, hoped until his brother was gunned down, that Cole would be freed. Innocence and a crummy lawyer and his refusal to turn in his brother, all led to a miscarriage of justice. One change you could make: Cole (had) went about . . . Had never comes before went, choose went or had gone.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2023
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The reader, knowing that Cole was innocent, hoped until his brother was gunned down, that Cole would be freed. Innocence and a crummy lawyer and his refusal to turn in his brother, all led to a miscarriage of justice. One change you could make: Cole (had) went about . . . Had never comes before went, choose went or had gone.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Carol. I didn?t know that rule! Hope all is well with you. D
Comment from JT traveller
Humans are not infallible. We all make mistakes. Even if we use two standard deviations as an example then five percent of people executed are therefore innocent. That, in itself, is justification enough to abolish the death penalty. I appreciate your in depth discussions of why you disagree so strongly with such barbaric measures. Thank you for sharing your interesting, melancholy story. Jacqueline
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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Humans are not infallible. We all make mistakes. Even if we use two standard deviations as an example then five percent of people executed are therefore innocent. That, in itself, is justification enough to abolish the death penalty. I appreciate your in depth discussions of why you disagree so strongly with such barbaric measures. Thank you for sharing your interesting, melancholy story. Jacqueline
Comment Written 10-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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It is a discussion piece. I?m glad we are on the same sheet of music, but I expected no less!
D
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
What an interesting take on the prompt. Judges love it when writers find a unique take on a seemingly straight forward prompt.
Good story with obvious research to back it up.
Best wishes for the contest.
Pam
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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What an interesting take on the prompt. Judges love it when writers find a unique take on a seemingly straight forward prompt.
Good story with obvious research to back it up.
Best wishes for the contest.
Pam
Comment Written 10-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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Thanks. It was a thinking piece!
Comment from Terry Broxson
Douglas, this is a well-written story. It does point out a real problem with the justice system. We do have to admit it is not perfect. Even for non-capital crimes, we still convict innocent people. I did find your story ironic for Tommy. What goes around, comes around. Very well done. Terry.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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Douglas, this is a well-written story. It does point out a real problem with the justice system. We do have to admit it is not perfect. Even for non-capital crimes, we still convict innocent people. I did find your story ironic for Tommy. What goes around, comes around. Very well done. Terry.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Terry. Just getting people to think!
Comment from LJbutterfly
You successfully executed the challenge of the contest by using the appropriate opening sentence. However, it was an interesting and creative twist that the mask wasn't to protect against Covid. I appreciate that you have shed light on this thought provoking subject, and wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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You successfully executed the challenge of the contest by using the appropriate opening sentence. However, it was an interesting and creative twist that the mask wasn't to protect against Covid. I appreciate that you have shed light on this thought provoking subject, and wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2023
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Thank you my friend. Tough topic.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Very well-written and thought-provoking post. (I would make the font larger.) The story kept my interest from beginning to end.
While this is fiction, it is the reason why I am against the death penalty. Sure, you may have hundreds of murderers dead to right; however, that one innocent person is sentenced to die.
Nearly every week, there is a story where an innocent person spent years in prison and found that either bad investigation or poor representation sent them to prison. They are released after spending decades in jail.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Very well-written and thought-provoking post. (I would make the font larger.) The story kept my interest from beginning to end.
While this is fiction, it is the reason why I am against the death penalty. Sure, you may have hundreds of murderers dead to right; however, that one innocent person is sentenced to die.
Nearly every week, there is a story where an innocent person spent years in prison and found that either bad investigation or poor representation sent them to prison. They are released after spending decades in jail.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 09-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Thank you, Mary! Completely agree with you. We shall see how the contest goes.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is an excellently expressed story about a wrongly convicted man subjected to the ultimate miscarriage of justice - death. There is good structure here which explains the background and the sort of sibling allegiances that can stymie the process of conclusive prosecution evidence, leading to tragic errors of this kind. Well done for drawing on your own immense knowledge on the subject to present this disturbing warning against capital punishment. Your notes also added significantly to the reader's understanding. Good luck in the contest! Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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This is an excellently expressed story about a wrongly convicted man subjected to the ultimate miscarriage of justice - death. There is good structure here which explains the background and the sort of sibling allegiances that can stymie the process of conclusive prosecution evidence, leading to tragic errors of this kind. Well done for drawing on your own immense knowledge on the subject to present this disturbing warning against capital punishment. Your notes also added significantly to the reader's understanding. Good luck in the contest! Debbie
Comment Written 09-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Thank you my friend. Murder, even with the backing of the state, is still murder if the man is innocent. Glad you jumped in on this!
We shall see how the contest goes.
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I have mixed feelings on your story. The part that I'm hung up on is the reference to a 90% match with the DNA. That should have overridden Cole's desire to plead guilty to a crime he didn't commit. On the other hand, it highlights the imperfection we have in our justice system.
Your story could get people thinking on several levels.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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I have mixed feelings on your story. The part that I'm hung up on is the reference to a 90% match with the DNA. That should have overridden Cole's desire to plead guilty to a crime he didn't commit. On the other hand, it highlights the imperfection we have in our justice system.
Your story could get people thinking on several levels.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Family matching can pinpoint a specific family group to a crime. The FBI is now accessing genealogy sites, with warrants, to narrow down suspect pools. There have been more than one case where a sibling has taken the fall for another sibling. Seems stupid to me but I don?t get along with my sisters. Ha! Yes, it was meant to make people think about it.
Comment from jmdg1954
Yes. Thought provoking. Is what family does for family right? Is it steadfast? Honorable? Forgiving?
Who knows the answer unless you are a part of the circumstance.
Well written and an excellent entry into the contest. Best of luck.
John
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Yes. Thought provoking. Is what family does for family right? Is it steadfast? Honorable? Forgiving?
Who knows the answer unless you are a part of the circumstance.
Well written and an excellent entry into the contest. Best of luck.
John
Comment Written 09-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2023
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Thanks, John. We shall see how it goes!