Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

It's good to have some conflict in the midst of everything seeming to go so well for the group. You handled it well, and thanks for putting the language warning on this chapter. I hope the mouthy guys are put in their place in the future chapters. Blessings. Carol

 Comment Written 05-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 05-Aug-2023

They will somewhat in the next one, even more later in the story.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Well, job well done if you make more money than you spend. I think you did a good job describing the scene. People who know the game of golf will find the alternate history and humble beginnings enjoyable. The kids are all nice and positive characters. I would advise caution with the 2D throw away baddies.


The crowd went wild with praise to see this wee young girl playing equal to and even better than the older and much larger boys.

-Yeah, I understand what you've been doing with Arie. Are you sure? It didn't work for Disney.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

Thanks for your concern about the bad guys. They won't be throw-away, though. They will figure large in the next chapter and then again before we are done with Part 1. Hopefully by then we'll see what their real role is in the story.

I'm going to give you a clue about where I'm going in this novel. There will be 4 parts. In each of parts 1, 2, and 3, I will be emphasizing something about the game of golf that either needs to be maintained or overcome if the game is to continue into the future. The name of the story is significant. Part 4 will be the solution that will spell the future of the game. In Part 1, the two bad guys and Arie, for that matter, have specific roles to play that help advance the theme.

One more tidbit: I've reserved a surprise for Part 3 that readers of Some Call It Luck I hope will appreciate.

reply by lancellot on 03-Aug-2023

I see. If Golf goes away, where will business deals be forged. All that's left are strip clubs.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

There always has to be a few troublemakers in every crowd. So far, they have handled the problem well. Everything went just as they had hoped with the first group of people to go out to the farm, except the mouthy guys. It's great they have suggested a competition when the fair time comes again.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

They will have achieved their original goal when that happens. Their goal is expanding, though, as they find out how enjoyable the game seems to most people.

Comment from Ulla

Excellent

Hi Jim, as I have played a great deal of golf in my time, I had no difficulty following along with this. Some people just don't know how to behave. Those men have an inferior complex and they're too stupid to acknowledge it. Arie handles it very well. Now what? Ulla:)))
Just curious, was golf even invented in 1247? I thought the game evolved in Scotland.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

Good question. According to the research I've done, the earliest semblance of the game came from Holland in the 1200s. It was played in the winter on ice and the rest of the season across long distances in the fields. It was played with a club (known as a kolf in ancient Dutch) and the verb form of that is kolven which means clubbing. The goal was to hit a ball to a target, whether on ice or in a field. Due to the similarity of names of kolf to golf, many scholars believe the true origin of the game was thus Holland in the 1200s. There is a painting from that era depicting a man holding a club and a ball.

So that's where I chose to start my story. It was, however, largely popularized in Scotland in the 15th century and beyond, and our next set of travels will take us to that time.

reply by Ulla on 03-Aug-2023

That's fascinating. Thanks so much for the detailed info. I'm learning all the time!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I hope Arie is done with those two jerks but I fear we are not. They are definitely up to no good. I am glad this fair is going well. Thank you for sharing with us and I can't wait for more.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

Thanks, Barbara.

I want to ask your honest opinion about an aspect of this chapter. Do you think the chapter suffered from the instances of sexual innuendo and crude language and gestures of those two young men, presented the way I did? There are other less crude ways I might have chosen to represent their behavior. I would just like to know if you found them offensive and out-of-place in this story?

Perhaps it's unfair to ask you this at this point in the story, so I may ask you this again later after I am done with these two characters (it won't be for a while), so if you want to reserve judgment until then when the full context and reason for their behavior is made clear, that's fine.

I respect your opinion and don't want to offend anyone needlessly, so that's why I'm asking. I would hate to turn people off who've been enjoying the story to this point so that they stop reading. Thanks in advance for weighing in.

reply by barbara.wilkey on 03-Aug-2023

I may change my mind, but as of right now, I think it's appropriate. Those two are jerks and there are real jerks in the world.

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

I appreciate hearing your opinion. Thanks!

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

I thought the two nasties were going to get pounded, but not so fast! I guess not everyone in 1247 is "nice".

Kolf fever is catching, and that doesn't surprise me. Especially in that time period, who wouldn't want a fun outdoor activity to do?

Good chapter, Jim. I enjoyed it and wouldn't add a thing.

Pam

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

A question for you, Pam: Do you think all the sexual innuendo and crudeness of these two fellows is offensive to the reader and out-of-place in this story, as I've heard from one or two? I welcome your input on this, and I will probably ask you the same question again near the end of Part 1 when I am done with these two fellows who will figure rather large later on.

I can't tell at this point if it is over-the-top, and if I should temper it, so I need some input from some of my favorite reviewers.

reply by Pam Lonsdale on 03-Aug-2023

Jim, you're going to get 10 different opinions if you ask 10 different people. I'm not an expert on how young men acted in that time period, I'm sure most were well-behaved or kept their thoughts to themselves. However, men have been men through the ages (my husband often says), and I don't think it's unusual that your characters aren't living in la-la land. They are poor farmers and shepherds, right? Mostly uneducated. Of course, they would behave this way.

Short of raping her, I can see conflict building between those who want to take advantage of Arie and those who want to protect her.

Jim, I've lost a couple of readers because they've thought something I wrote was either too sexual or too violent. One individual wanted me to stop writing the "way you do". I told him to stop reading me, and he has.

IT IS YOUR STORY! Tell your story, and if people walk away, so be it.

Hope that helps.

reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

Thanks, Pam. That does help, and you are right. I guess I need to trust my instincts.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

I would love to have seen what Rube would've done to the two jerks badmouthing Arie, but it looks like their demonstration of the game, and the sale of equipment sales and also the pictures sold by Lottie also, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2023

Have no fear. They will get what's coming to them in due time!

reply by royowen on 03-Aug-2023

That?s good

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

But what if they run into those "eikels" show up ? I'm guessing some kind of duel is on the horizon. Or Arie would put them in their place. It's good that the game was so well received. I wonder if Lotte and Lard are getting friendly, too. Lard is polite and knows that Kilian and Arie are an item.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

You've got some good instincts here, Helen.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

I enjoyed the added bit of drama with the three clods. I wonder if any of the other readers felt as I did that they would have liked to have seen a little more justice in handling them. I was teased, but then just a wee bit disappointed by their seeming victory.

and they walked together hand-in-hand all the way to Arie's ball. [Minor, but since you made it clear at the beginning of the sentence who it was holding Rube's hand, I don't think you need to identify her by name at the sentence's end.]

In spite of the outcome, I do believe the plot needed the injection of the drama in this chapter. Good job.

Jay

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

Oh, we're not done with them yet. They will be involved quite a bit more in the story, and not just in the next chapter. Have no fear. They will get their just desserts before the end.

reply by Jay Squires on 02-Aug-2023

Okay! LOL.

Comment from Debbie D'Arcy

Excellent

Another great chapter, this time at the fair where the demo of the game of kolf goes very succesfully only spoiled by some lewd remarks towards Arie from a couple of troublemakers. There is a great sense of cameraderie here in which they all support each other. It makes for an enjoyable and relaxing feel-good factor, a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing, Jim. Debbie

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2023

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2023

It won't all be roses from now on. We've got some conflicts coming. So glad you're enjoying this, Debbie.