Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

It's great that Arie has a rich, generous, and lonely uncle who is only too happy to host the first ever golf tournament. I wonder how they will teach all the would-be participants. It sounds that they are all on track for the festival.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2023

The funnest part about writing this story is figuring out the answers to all those questions, like how will they teach everyone. There are so few known facts about the game in those very early times, that I have to imagine it all. I think to myself, how would I do it if it were me back then, or what gave rise to this sort of club or that one?

I guess it's the same as the world-building that SciFi writers must do for their stories.

This story sort of defies any one genre and seems to be a combination of sports fiction, historical fiction, and science fiction. Whatever it is, it's very much fun to write.

reply by lyenochka on 31-Jul-2023

I'm glad you're taking us on this adventure. You inspired me to hold a club and we took the grands to a putt-putt golf inside a pizza place. The whole ambiance was difficult because they had black lighting and pirates talking the whole time. But the kids had fun.

reply by the author on 31-Jul-2023

Well, golf that ain't, but I'm glad they had fun anyway!

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

Thank you for sharing this addition with us. It seems they had a wonderful time visiting Arie's Oom Gerrit and his willingness to host the event. I enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 29-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023

Thanks, Barbara. Arie and Oom Gerrit have a special relationship, and she knew she could count on him to come through.

Comment from Jay Squires

Excellent

Can I foresee some complexities when they try to introduce the game of Kolf to the people at the Amsterdam Fair. I don't mean it as a complaint, but my inner warning system is alerting me that some internal drama is going to be needed soon. I thought it might be in the youngsters' relationship, or the development of jealousy by Lars, or the parents being more protective than they are shown to be toward Arie. But none of that has happened so far. Your love of golf is what drives your creativity in this story ... but the world of books thrives on relationships and conflicts.

"This is my vriend, Kilian Pauls." [Is this the way you wanted it spelled? A lot of the words are Dutch, but the important ones are explained in the index.]

I hope you take my comments in the way in which they were intended. You are a fine craftsman and storyteller. Nothing changes any of that.

Jay

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023

Your assumption is correct, Jay. There will most definitely be some complexities at the fair, not only this year but at next year's fair as well. That's where I've been saving them for. Perhaps there should have been some earlier. I don't know. When we get to the end of Part 1, let me know what you think about that. I really respect your judgment and analysis.

Incidentally, "vriend" is defined in the index, second to the bottom one. It means "boyfriend."

reply by Jay Squires on 29-Jul-2023

Sorry about that vriend. It slipped right past me.
Jay

reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023

Incidentally, I've started your book, and it's great so far. I love your female character. I haven't gotten too far yet because I'm in the process of writing the climax and denouement of Part 1, but once I finish that, I'm going to take a short break before getting into Part 2, and I should be able to finish it in the interim.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Don't say the sheep club became Holeyoke or the beloved St Andrews. Birthplace of the game
I still love more than PBJ
Hvhcyvhvgchvgcfcycfcgvfcf fctvtcf fcgv

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 29-Jul-2023

Got it now. I won't do that. Those are in England and Scotland. This is Holland. If there had been a similar-caliber course in Amsterdam, however, I just might have. :)

I'm honored to be compared to a PBJ. They are my favorite sandwich too.

reply by Tom Horonzy on 29-Jul-2023

My bad. I forgot where Arie and friends lived.

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

They have certainly learned a few tricks to impress the uninitiated. They need to make more kolfs and balls to sell and make some money also. After all, it is a fair.

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

Have you been reading ahead somehow, Carol? You are so prescient!

Comment from jmdg1954

Excellent

Jim, I apologize for being remiss on reading past chapters. I have very little time recently and have missed many other writers posts. Hopefully that changes.

I love the camaraderie between the brothers and how Arie has them twisted around her fingers.

I'll try to get some of the back chapters up to date.

Thanks, Jim,
John

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

No worries, John. The recap should help if you don't feel like taking the time to do that. I appreciate anything that you manage to read.

Comment from royowen

Excellent

My wife was a great help for sharing the terms of affection, endearment and relational nouns, because she speaks German fluently, and the languages are closely related, I don't know whether you've explained them in your notes, the game is broadening in interest as it has over the centuries, great post, you still maintain the values of friendship and rekationships, well done Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

Thanks, Roy. I did indeed explain the Dutch terms in the notes and will continue to do so when I introduce a new one. Glad your wife could help out.

The kids come up with quite a plan to broaden the game further, and it will be successful.

reply by royowen on 28-Jul-2023

Yep, I believe that, I?ve been guilty of skipping the notes, but still perceived them in the end Jim,

Comment from Carol Clark2

Excellent

It seems as if this game is catching on nicely. Everyone who tries it wants to play it. I'm amazed at the 'short lifter shots' they can do. They've worked hard at perfecting the kolfs and their swings. Interesting story. Have a blessed weekend. Carol

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

Thank you so much, Carol. I can remember being hooked on it instantly when I took it up as a kid. Not everyone is, but many are captivated from the start like these four.

reply by Carol Clark2 on 28-Jul-2023

You're welcome. I played golf a bit as a young adult, but not often enough to become good at it. I enjoy watching it now and then.

Comment from Alexandra Trovato

Excellent

Excellent story chapter, although I have to backtrack I think I missed something. I like your dialogues a lot. They seem authentic. I had a little trouble with all of the names but in my defence I've had enough my own confusing name in life lol

I am following the golfing references more now that's just me. If there's not a wonderful and funny characters like mini gulf, I take time to think it's golf. I think it's a good story though. Did you ever write our think of writing a nonfiction about golfers, maybe interviews of how they got into the game. Did they play with their dads etc. I found early on, one typo:

This is my vriend,
(friend)


Best wishes my friend! lol Alex :))

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

Thanks so much, Alex. I will have to think about your non-fiction idea. It sounds like a good one.

Actually, "vriend" is the Dutch word for "boyfriend." I refer to this in the author notes.

Comment from Pam Lonsdale

Excellent

The banter between family here (and I consider Kilian family at this point) sounded so natural and put a smile on my face. Such a simple time with such simple pleasures that you write about.

Oh, dear, I hope Lard and Rube are not going to become a little jealous of Kilian spending all of his time with Arie's family now. I keep waiting for someone's behavior to go south. (Perhaps I'm too used to the world I live in.)

Good chapter, Jim. I have no suggestions on how you could improve it.

Pam

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2023

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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2023

Thank you so much, Pam.

Not among these four, but we will certainly see some southerly behavior soon.