Wonder
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Fear Not"Poems of the things of the spirit
2 total reviews
Comment from Paul Manton
Oh, Michelle, what a stunning sonnet! Worth an immediate six any day of the week. Except Friday! (and Saturday)
I am going to go through each verse at first, then look at the whole effect.
VERSE 1 Problem for me immediately with the comma. Should this really be enjambment? Because the two different punctuations give two different meanings. Without the comma, it is your future which escapes into the past - and with it, it may be you who escapes . . .but if so, you need to say 'escape' or it doesn't work gramaticaly. So I'm confused.
Either way, the future which you so fear is countered by your faith and the power of love within you. And so (V.2) as time goes on, your trust in God sustains you to acts of duty and kindness, and although (V.3) you cannot tell where God will take you or where and when it will all end, your unshakeable trust is in Him for the entire journey - then (couplet) a Shakespearian couplet to end - reversing the subjects of the action, and a final affirmation of faith.
Where this lovely sonnet scores with me is that you allow us to see your doubt and fear within your faith - a much more realistic of most Christian lives. Plenty of people tell me it's only sunshine all the way. So strange that Jesus didn't share their experience!
A lovely sonnet, Michelle. Worth a six - but, Never On Friday!
Love from Paul
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Oh, Michelle, what a stunning sonnet! Worth an immediate six any day of the week. Except Friday! (and Saturday)
I am going to go through each verse at first, then look at the whole effect.
VERSE 1 Problem for me immediately with the comma. Should this really be enjambment? Because the two different punctuations give two different meanings. Without the comma, it is your future which escapes into the past - and with it, it may be you who escapes . . .but if so, you need to say 'escape' or it doesn't work gramaticaly. So I'm confused.
Either way, the future which you so fear is countered by your faith and the power of love within you. And so (V.2) as time goes on, your trust in God sustains you to acts of duty and kindness, and although (V.3) you cannot tell where God will take you or where and when it will all end, your unshakeable trust is in Him for the entire journey - then (couplet) a Shakespearian couplet to end - reversing the subjects of the action, and a final affirmation of faith.
Where this lovely sonnet scores with me is that you allow us to see your doubt and fear within your faith - a much more realistic of most Christian lives. Plenty of people tell me it's only sunshine all the way. So strange that Jesus didn't share their experience!
A lovely sonnet, Michelle. Worth a six - but, Never On Friday!
Love from Paul
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Thank you so much for these comments. I looked over the comma again and it is I who escapes. Or tries to. I am glad you saw the truth that I also share with my patients. Life is not smooth and perfect and the goal is not happiness, although it may ensue.
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Welcome, Michelle
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine sonnet, well rhymed and metered and a great entry for the sonnet contest, I adore the sentiments here and wish you luck Michelle, a talented write, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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A fine sonnet, well rhymed and metered and a great entry for the sonnet contest, I adore the sentiments here and wish you luck Michelle, a talented write, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 14-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Thanks to you and your comments. I am grateful.