Saving Mr. Calvin
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Saving Mr. Calvin - Chapter 6A"Golf's legacy and future
14 total reviews
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Issuing stars seems a little silly for old posts. But I have to enter something, and how can I ....?
FanStory does not accommodate half chapters. Will you continue the stagger, or is there a fix?
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Issuing stars seems a little silly for old posts. But I have to enter something, and how can I ....?
FanStory does not accommodate half chapters. Will you continue the stagger, or is there a fix?
Comment Written 19-Aug-2023
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2023
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Most of the chapters are FanStory length (1,200 - 1,800 words), but a few, such as chapter 6 and 20 were so long that I had to break them into parts. For the most part it's 1 for 1.
Comment from jmdg1954
Cool! First let me add that I saw nothing wrong in the writing and that it continued to have a good story flow.
I'm enjoying the friendship/comradery between these two. Though it still begs my curiosity how it brings us to the year 2032.
I'll just have to be patient!
Nice writing, Jim!
John
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2023
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Cool! First let me add that I saw nothing wrong in the writing and that it continued to have a good story flow.
I'm enjoying the friendship/comradery between these two. Though it still begs my curiosity how it brings us to the year 2032.
I'll just have to be patient!
Nice writing, Jim!
John
Comment Written 13-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2023
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There will definitely be a few more adventures here before we make it back to 2032. Glad you're enjoying it, John.
Comment from lyenochka
I like how easily Arie can joke with Kilian. She's also a natural athlete and what a kind and understanding dad she has. I'm glad he wants to meet Kilian, probably wants to know what danger his daughter might be in. In some cultures especially that long ago, boys and girls did not interact at all.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
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I like how easily Arie can joke with Kilian. She's also a natural athlete and what a kind and understanding dad she has. I'm glad he wants to meet Kilian, probably wants to know what danger his daughter might be in. In some cultures especially that long ago, boys and girls did not interact at all.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2023
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I'm planning on having her folks become very fond of Kilian.
From what I was reading, marriage was common among the peasants during that time at very young ages--as young as 12 for girls after they reach puberty, and only slightly older for boys. They also didn't require parental consent for marriage.
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Good job researching! Wow, and as recent as my mom's generation, she was scolded for talking with her male cousin on evening! Lol.
Comment from Kaiku
I have to believe that people new to the game will enjoy this story as much as those who have played it for any length of time. In fact, the greenhorn may enjoy it more as nothing is being assumed and therefor can enjoy your introduction of golf's history with unbiased delight.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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I have to believe that people new to the game will enjoy this story as much as those who have played it for any length of time. In fact, the greenhorn may enjoy it more as nothing is being assumed and therefor can enjoy your introduction of golf's history with unbiased delight.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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You know, that's a really good point. I think you may be right about that because many of those following the story have never golfed before and tell me they might give it a try now.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Kilian has certainly convinced Arie to change to his way of life. It is really nice of him to try to teach Lars to read. He is putting a lot of effort into it when some people would give up quickly.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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Kilian has certainly convinced Arie to change to his way of life. It is really nice of him to try to teach Lars to read. He is putting a lot of effort into it when some people would give up quickly.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2023
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I don't know it it's Kilian so much as the lure of the game itself. Golf has an addictive way about it for some people. A few good shots in the center of the clubface is all it takes sometimes. Arie seems to be one of those people.
Comment from Jay Squires
I like Arie. She is so cute, and both she and Killian are still in the innocent stage of their "friendship". I think they will out-grow that. I'm wondering if Lars will be the third point on the triangle. There are some interesting possibilities there. Also with Arie's father. We'll find out just how protective he is of his little jewel.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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I like Arie. She is so cute, and both she and Killian are still in the innocent stage of their "friendship". I think they will out-grow that. I'm wondering if Lars will be the third point on the triangle. There are some interesting possibilities there. Also with Arie's father. We'll find out just how protective he is of his little jewel.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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I love writing her part in this. I have a little bit different idea about how her relationship with boys will go. There will eventually be some conflict, but from a completely different direction. You just gave me a good idea, though!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Maybe I'll finally learn how to play golf by reading this, Jim! My husband would be thrilled after all these years:-) I've just never had time for it - too many other physical interests. I have played a few times, and the thing that I always liked most was being outside on a beautiful day walking a beautiful course. I, like any golfer, have my hits and misses.
My husband currently plays with a foursome, and one really annoying individual says the same two lines after every hole: "Golf hates me" OR "I love this game!" Depends on the hole.
Couldn't find anything wrong here, and it certainly is moving with a nice flow.
If you ever go back to edit again before a publication, I would suggest a little more imagery. Instead of telling us it's a beautiful day, show us why you think so. The story is informative and playful though, and I'm enjoying it.
Pam
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Maybe I'll finally learn how to play golf by reading this, Jim! My husband would be thrilled after all these years:-) I've just never had time for it - too many other physical interests. I have played a few times, and the thing that I always liked most was being outside on a beautiful day walking a beautiful course. I, like any golfer, have my hits and misses.
My husband currently plays with a foursome, and one really annoying individual says the same two lines after every hole: "Golf hates me" OR "I love this game!" Depends on the hole.
Couldn't find anything wrong here, and it certainly is moving with a nice flow.
If you ever go back to edit again before a publication, I would suggest a little more imagery. Instead of telling us it's a beautiful day, show us why you think so. The story is informative and playful though, and I'm enjoying it.
Pam
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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That was always one of my favorite things about the game too, Pam--being outside on a beautiful course. There's nothing like a beautifully-maintained golf course. They can be beautifully manicured from fence-line to fence-line like Augusta National, or they can be very rough looking like the British courses or desert courses,but as long as the fairways and greens are beautifully-maintained, as they wind among the rough and the rocks, the heather and the gorse, I love 'em.
I do have a tendency to skimp on descriptions of the scene in my writing, preferring to write more about the action and the characters, but you are right; I need to take a little more time with it.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Look at you typing as if this forementioned piece came as easy as a right to left 4 foot putt, down grain on a slope of 12 degrees which quickens if you hit it a foot too far which could have you roll off a false front, down the hill forty yards, and that was where you hit your last shot from. Ha!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Look at you typing as if this forementioned piece came as easy as a right to left 4 foot putt, down grain on a slope of 12 degrees which quickens if you hit it a foot too far which could have you roll off a false front, down the hill forty yards, and that was where you hit your last shot from. Ha!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Haha, sounds like I'm at the US Open! Great analogy, Tom.
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if such a putt is made would that be an ... analgesic analogy?
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I think it would be a palliative panacea for all your problems.
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hell. if I made such a putt I'd walk away never to play the game again.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Kilian is a special person. Thank you for sharing. I am enjoying this story.
The next morning, with my kolf over my shoulder (The following morning)
I headed down to the cave to meet Arie. (down in an unnecessary extra word)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Kilian is a special person. Thank you for sharing. I am enjoying this story.
The next morning, with my kolf over my shoulder (The following morning)
I headed down to the cave to meet Arie. (down in an unnecessary extra word)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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He's a good boy. Glad you're enjoying it, Barbara. Thanks for the suggestions too.
Comment from Loretta Bigg
It's good. I have one question that is probably obvious to someone who has read more of this than I have. When you say a time portal opens up, does Art get sucked in and that's why we are suddenly in Holland of 1292 and Art is there watching? Or is it just the audience who is watching. That was my only confusion. I probably missed something.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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It's good. I have one question that is probably obvious to someone who has read more of this than I have. When you say a time portal opens up, does Art get sucked in and that's why we are suddenly in Holland of 1292 and Art is there watching? Or is it just the audience who is watching. That was my only confusion. I probably missed something.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Glad you found the story, Loretta. It wasn't actually the old man, Art Calvin, who went through the portal. It was young Kevin Parsons. On the other side, in 1247 Holland, Kilian Pauls runs out of the woods. (Note the similarity of names.)
I have not made it clear yet just what is happening. If you are interested, keep reading, and all will become clear--eventually.