The Deep End
a short story11 total reviews
Comment from JSD
Excellent. And most unexpected - or maybe I'm just naive. I didn't think the tone of the piece was going there! Really well structured. Interesting protagonists and the casual dialogue - and the giggle - make it all work so well. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
Excellent. And most unexpected - or maybe I'm just naive. I didn't think the tone of the piece was going there! Really well structured. Interesting protagonists and the casual dialogue - and the giggle - make it all work so well. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2023
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Thank you, John.
Comment from evilynne
That waa well written and suspenseful, although I did have an inkling that Joe would come to a bad end and that Janet and Andy were on a murderous mission. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
That waa well written and suspenseful, although I did have an inkling that Joe would come to a bad end and that Janet and Andy were on a murderous mission. Best of luck in the contest! Evi
Comment Written 09-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Evilynne
Comment from Andrea Kepple
I like the twist at the end. The pertinent information is revealed along the way through the story. I wish you the best of luck with this contest.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
I like the twist at the end. The pertinent information is revealed along the way through the story. I wish you the best of luck with this contest.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Andrea
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Gosh, I bet the neighbors are going to be thrilled with the addition of THIS lovely new couple on their block! Charmers, both.
Well, this definitely is classic flash fiction: campy, intriguing and with a good punch to the chops right as it's over.
I bet it will do very well in the contest. Good luck.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
Gosh, I bet the neighbors are going to be thrilled with the addition of THIS lovely new couple on their block! Charmers, both.
Well, this definitely is classic flash fiction: campy, intriguing and with a good punch to the chops right as it's over.
I bet it will do very well in the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Rachelle
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Cleverly done! I didn't expect that and your story fitted so well into the word count - it didn't seem at all unnecessarily shortened. Your prose and dialogue are well expressed and engage the reader from the start. Well done and good luck! Debbie
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
Cleverly done! I didn't expect that and your story fitted so well into the word count - it didn't seem at all unnecessarily shortened. Your prose and dialogue are well expressed and engage the reader from the start. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Debbie
Comment from royowen
I love stories of wicked people who get theirs, the deserve to cop it in the neck, I think that's how we think all crooks should "cop it". And excellent post that is most imaginative post, good luck, blessing Roy
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
I love stories of wicked people who get theirs, the deserve to cop it in the neck, I think that's how we think all crooks should "cop it". And excellent post that is most imaginative post, good luck, blessing Roy
Comment Written 08-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Roy
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Most welcome
Comment from Wendy G
Very clever. What a family! Seems like Andy and Janet had it all well planned. I enjoyed your writing and also the twist at the end. Well done. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
Very clever. What a family! Seems like Andy and Janet had it all well planned. I enjoyed your writing and also the twist at the end. Well done. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Wendy.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Well, I didn't expect that ending, even though you gave little clues during the story. The story started innocently with two people making plans for a pool...all told through dialogue. By the end we discover a double murder. Wow! Very cleverly done. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
Well, I didn't expect that ending, even though you gave little clues during the story. The story started innocently with two people making plans for a pool...all told through dialogue. By the end we discover a double murder. Wow! Very cleverly done. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you, LJ
Comment from Loretta Bigg
Very scary. I certainly can imagine a death like that. I guess don't plan the murder of your wife with her lover would be the moral of this sad tale. It was very good.
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
Very scary. I certainly can imagine a death like that. I guess don't plan the murder of your wife with her lover would be the moral of this sad tale. It was very good.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Loretta
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness this is horrific! Poor guy, murdered in front of our eyes here. An inventive and unique write for the flash fiction contest, I wish you luck, I was entertained, love Dolly x
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reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
Oh my goodness this is horrific! Poor guy, murdered in front of our eyes here. An inventive and unique write for the flash fiction contest, I wish you luck, I was entertained, love Dolly x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 07-Jul-2023
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Thank you, Dolly, for the excellent review.