One Man's Calling
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "One Man's Calling, Ch 16"Following God
7 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
So the boulder killed Salinger and then the rest of the mountain landed on Ben and Salinger's guard? You wrote it very artistically but I wasn't quite sure about the sequence of events.
I did like how James came up with the ad hoc plan and also how he sensed that Ben was called home.
Good that the mine and the opium were all closed in! Hoping you'll post the final chapter on Saturday.
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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So the boulder killed Salinger and then the rest of the mountain landed on Ben and Salinger's guard? You wrote it very artistically but I wasn't quite sure about the sequence of events.
I did like how James came up with the ad hoc plan and also how he sensed that Ben was called home.
Good that the mine and the opium were all closed in! Hoping you'll post the final chapter on Saturday.
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thank you.
I'll look and see if I can clarify the sequence of events. Thank you.
Comment from Wendy G
Very well written. I feared that this chapter would feature Ben's passing as his role would be over, and he has willingly sacrificed his life so that the drug devastation to others would be destroyed. His God-given calling was complete. A fine story. Well done.
Wendy
(No capital needed for "That" in the folowing: "Probably why they went out of town, That and to keep secret ...."
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Very well written. I feared that this chapter would feature Ben's passing as his role would be over, and he has willingly sacrificed his life so that the drug devastation to others would be destroyed. His God-given calling was complete. A fine story. Well done.
Wendy
(No capital needed for "That" in the folowing: "Probably why they went out of town, That and to keep secret ...."
Comment Written 31-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thank you.
I'd guess that my biggest failure is in the editing of my edits.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Ben is a believable figure who will follow the Lord's dictates, especially when it means he can finally leave his weakening body and go to his heavenly home. This has been a fine story about faith that can move mountains, especially in Ben's case.
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Ben is a believable figure who will follow the Lord's dictates, especially when it means he can finally leave his weakening body and go to his heavenly home. This has been a fine story about faith that can move mountains, especially in Ben's case.
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 31-May-2023
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Thank you.
I didn't think of it in that sense. (smiley face here)
Comment from Jay Squires
So Ben's work is finally done! I reread that sentence, "Ben was called home before the first rock crashed down," and it's pretty conclusive. Yet there's another chapter to come. It must be an emotional ending you're planning. I'll be here.
Jay
The following sentence was a challenge for me to understand, Wayne. You might want to take a look at it since it's critical for the reader to see the image in his/her mind: "The cliff where James figured Salinger's hiding place to be a mine tunneled into a knoll that separated the Grand Mesa Road from the Clabber Creek wagon trail." Certainly, a comma after "to be" is grammatically needed to cut off the introductory clause. In addition, I would add something like "At the face of the cliff ..." or some-such to introduce the clause. Something seems needed to prevent confusion. Just a thought.]
All else flowed magnificently!
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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So Ben's work is finally done! I reread that sentence, "Ben was called home before the first rock crashed down," and it's pretty conclusive. Yet there's another chapter to come. It must be an emotional ending you're planning. I'll be here.
Jay
The following sentence was a challenge for me to understand, Wayne. You might want to take a look at it since it's critical for the reader to see the image in his/her mind: "The cliff where James figured Salinger's hiding place to be a mine tunneled into a knoll that separated the Grand Mesa Road from the Clabber Creek wagon trail." Certainly, a comma after "to be" is grammatically needed to cut off the introductory clause. In addition, I would add something like "At the face of the cliff ..." or some-such to introduce the clause. Something seems needed to prevent confusion. Just a thought.]
All else flowed magnificently!
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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And a good thought, it is. Thank you.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Ben had a lot of help getting rid of Salinger and the load of Opium in the cave. With God's help he was able to do so without too much violence. Ben was called home before the cave fell in on him. One more chapter to clean things up. Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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Ben had a lot of help getting rid of Salinger and the load of Opium in the cave. With God's help he was able to do so without too much violence. Ben was called home before the cave fell in on him. One more chapter to clean things up. Well done, Wayne. Nancy:)
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
And thank you very much for the six stars!
Comment from BethShelby
So you allowed Ben to be called home but in so doing he did what he set out to do and he aways seemed to be led by God. End is life in this way reminded me of the Bible story of Samson pulling down the pillows of the building.
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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So you allowed Ben to be called home but in so doing he did what he set out to do and he aways seemed to be led by God. End is life in this way reminded me of the Bible story of Samson pulling down the pillows of the building.
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Jim Wile
This was a very exciting chapter, Wayne. Seems a fitting end for Salinger as he is struck by a large boulder, putting an end to him and his opium operation. Though diminished, Ben still appears to have a lot of life in him.
I'm looking forward to the finale, but it will be sad to see this story end.
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"to keep secret what their up to" should be "they're"
"he advised a plan" should be either "devised" or "advised them of his plan"
"they could pickle the horses with stones" did you mean "pepper"?
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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This was a very exciting chapter, Wayne. Seems a fitting end for Salinger as he is struck by a large boulder, putting an end to him and his opium operation. Though diminished, Ben still appears to have a lot of life in him.
I'm looking forward to the finale, but it will be sad to see this story end.
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"to keep secret what their up to" should be "they're"
"he advised a plan" should be either "devised" or "advised them of his plan"
"they could pickle the horses with stones" did you mean "pepper"?
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 30-May-2023
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Thank you. And thanks for the catches.
I guess 'pickle' with rocks is a colloquialism. Pepper would be more universally understood.