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If ever you feel like giving up...29 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
Good entry for the 1-1-2-12 writing prompt contest.
I know you want to rhyme but it sounds forced in
"Try You must" sounds like Yoda lol
I like the words imagery and nice presentation. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Thank you for sharing, good luck..
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Hello,
Good entry for the 1-1-2-12 writing prompt contest.
I know you want to rhyme but it sounds forced in
"Try You must" sounds like Yoda lol
I like the words imagery and nice presentation. Good syllables count and connection between lines. Thank you for sharing, good luck..
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you for your feedback!
Comment from Eternal Muse
That is a great poem for the contest. You fit volumes in those five lines, creating a great message. Loved your show of faith, your images, visuals and terrific presentation.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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That is a great poem for the contest. You fit volumes in those five lines, creating a great message. Loved your show of faith, your images, visuals and terrific presentation.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you, that means a lot!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Your heartfelt words resonate with me, and many others no doubt, who have lost someone to suicide. The burden of their unspeakable anguish keeps them from seeing the light, and our prayer must be that they will learn to trust in God and the people He places in their path with the help they need. You have written about a very sensitive subject and have done so beautifully.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Your heartfelt words resonate with me, and many others no doubt, who have lost someone to suicide. The burden of their unspeakable anguish keeps them from seeing the light, and our prayer must be that they will learn to trust in God and the people He places in their path with the help they need. You have written about a very sensitive subject and have done so beautifully.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you, that truly means the world to me <3
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That is such a well thought out poem, and it just rolls so sweetly. Your words send a strong message and I'm sure there are many out there that could learn from you wonderful poem. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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That is such a well thought out poem, and it just rolls so sweetly. Your words send a strong message and I'm sure there are many out there that could learn from you wonderful poem. Well done and good luck in the contest. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much, Sandra!
Comment from rjuselius
This is a beautifully written piece of poetry dear anonymous! The message is uplifting when written with God's love and words.
Thank you dear friend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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This is a beautifully written piece of poetry dear anonymous! The message is uplifting when written with God's love and words.
Thank you dear friend for sharing!
Good luck!
Blessings with hugs and kisses,
Rebekka
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Rebekka! That means a lot<3
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My pleasure entirely dear friend <3
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I can imagine how any soldier would feel when fighting for their life and others. I bet they do feel like giving up, saying I can't stay here any longer because I have family at home, waiting for me. But instead, they keep on fighting for our nation.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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I can imagine how any soldier would feel when fighting for their life and others. I bet they do feel like giving up, saying I can't stay here any longer because I have family at home, waiting for me. But instead, they keep on fighting for our nation.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Well said, thanks so much for your comment!
Comment from nomi338
Awesome. A man who refuses to try, is a man who may very soon die. Taking the very next breath is a challenge to the man afraid to die. Every decision is a challenge, Will I fail, or succeed? Is it even worth the effort. A man such as this is not very much worthy of life.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Awesome. A man who refuses to try, is a man who may very soon die. Taking the very next breath is a challenge to the man afraid to die. Every decision is a challenge, Will I fail, or succeed? Is it even worth the effort. A man such as this is not very much worthy of life.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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I'd have to agree with you! Thanks so much for your comment and review!
Comment from Courtney Chambers
I think I needed to see some of the poems I'm reading today. After signing up for this, I realized. . . I'm not that great and it's gotten me down. It's a great read and very inspiring.
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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I think I needed to see some of the poems I'm reading today. After signing up for this, I realized. . . I'm not that great and it's gotten me down. It's a great read and very inspiring.
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Hi Courtney thank you so much for your review. Please do not feel that way, I just reviewed your portfolio and what I read was impressive! I joined in February, and I can't believe how much I've learned since then. Take the advice from reviewers and apply it to your work. Those who are experienced have offered tremendous critique and feedback- I can honestly say their advice has made me a better writer. I can tell you have a talent for poetry, and like me, you probably just need to format your work differently. Use advanced editor, make your text, sizable and use proper spacing to make your poems easier to read. My very first post was filled with comments about how it was impossible to read my words simply because the font size lol. Please stick with it. I look forward to seeing more work from you!!
<3
Jessica
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Aww thank you for the reply. I'll try to keep that in mind. I look forward to reading more of you as well.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Sometimes these short formats seem like they are easy to write -- they are not -- not if they're good, and this one is wonderful. Well done on internal and end rhyme, as called for, and a terrific message. Good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Sometimes these short formats seem like they are easy to write -- they are not -- not if they're good, and this one is wonderful. Well done on internal and end rhyme, as called for, and a terrific message. Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you so much for your awesome review. I truly appreciate the feedback!
Comment from Mario PIERRE
Really profound and moving poem. In these few but powerful words, you created the image of despair,then hope overcoming it!! Brilliant.
Good luck for the contest.
One thing that you need to correct for perfect grammar: "die" instead of "dies".
Mario
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Really profound and moving poem. In these few but powerful words, you created the image of despair,then hope overcoming it!! Brilliant.
Good luck for the contest.
One thing that you need to correct for perfect grammar: "die" instead of "dies".
Mario
Comment Written 28-Mar-2023
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2023
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Thank you, Mario! I appreciate it!
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NP