The Enemy
He got a taste of his own medicine.4 total reviews
Comment from Kaiku
What a picture you paint, let alone the graphic used to demonstrate the turmoil of the young woman. Another very fine work continuing to showcase a little darkness in that mind of yours.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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What a picture you paint, let alone the graphic used to demonstrate the turmoil of the young woman. Another very fine work continuing to showcase a little darkness in that mind of yours.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2023
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Ciao!
Glad the subject interested you. It received two votes which is more than I could have hoped for.
It is my pessimistic nature that makes me choose dark themes.
Thanks for the extra star. (smiles)
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yep
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a well-written entry to the 4 words contest. I like that the four words were in a different color, so they stood out in the poem. I love your color palette. The text is a great size. The message is clearly stated and is easy to understand. The adult speaker is remembering her childhood and the years of abuse she endured that lead her down a path of meth usage and self-destruction. This sentence needs to be stated with more clarity.} which came when he finished behind bars for killing a man in a brawl} perhaps use the word landed instead of finished. The poem box also needs to be expanded. The poem appears squeezed into the poem box. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Go to the end of the last line and hit enter twice. Now your poem has a frame of space around it. The stanzas/verses need to be divided more equally. Perhaps make the large last stanza into two stanzas forming a four-stanza poem. The visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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This is a well-written entry to the 4 words contest. I like that the four words were in a different color, so they stood out in the poem. I love your color palette. The text is a great size. The message is clearly stated and is easy to understand. The adult speaker is remembering her childhood and the years of abuse she endured that lead her down a path of meth usage and self-destruction. This sentence needs to be stated with more clarity.} which came when he finished behind bars for killing a man in a brawl} perhaps use the word landed instead of finished. The poem box also needs to be expanded. The poem appears squeezed into the poem box. Drop the first line down one or two spaces. Go to the end of the last line and hit enter twice. Now your poem has a frame of space around it. The stanzas/verses need to be divided more equally. Perhaps make the large last stanza into two stanzas forming a four-stanza poem. The visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2023
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Thank you for the helpful feedback .. I will edited and replaced finished with landed.
I will put more space before and at the end and also see if I can spilt the a couple of verse.
What do you think?
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You are welcome. It looks great. It's the type of poetry I relate to best. It's dark with an authentic voice.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made good use of these words here and this story is horrific and powerful and revenge is sweet here. You fulfilled the brief and used all these words wisely and I reckon this one is a winner for the contest, love Dolly x
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You made good use of these words here and this story is horrific and powerful and revenge is sweet here. You fulfilled the brief and used all these words wisely and I reckon this one is a winner for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023
Comment from Ricky1024
To His was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
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To His was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and Flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
Thanks for sharing this and have a great day.
Doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 16-Feb-2023