Comment from dragonpoet

Excellent

Hi MariVal,
This poem exudes the lure of unrequited love. It shows that temptation hurts. This seems to be an ekphrastic poem about the picture or just a very lucky find to match the words so well.
Congrats on winning the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2023

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023

Thank you very much! I appreciate your thoughtful review and kind words. Have a wonderful day.

Gypsy

Comment from DeboraDyess

Excellent

A beautifully written tanka and a well-deserved win. That last line... I thought, 'Wait a minute!' and remembered a time when I felt exactly like that. Excellent. Congratulations!
Blessings,
Deb

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 31-Jan-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy

Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)

Excellent

This is a great Tanka. Well-deserving of your win in the contest. I loved this description that you were tempted by someone who was obviously besotted by another - very powerful. kay

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023

Thank you very much, Kay, I appreciate your kind review and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Contests

A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 30-Jan-2023

Thank you!

Gypsy

Comment from kahpot

Excellent

Wow! this is wonderful, it has me thinking whether it is about a love waiting to happen as the one you want is with another, beautifully written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

Kym, thank you very much for the helpful and kind feedback. I appreciate the excellent five stars review.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

These is something hauntingly beautiful in these words. A love from afar that saddens a heart but cannot stop loving him.
Heartfelt and sad.
Best wishes
Mary

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

Mary, thank you very much for the helpful and kind feedback. I appreciate the excellent five stars review.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Jasmine Girl

Excellent

What a beautiful poem about the unrequited love. You described it well. I can sense the envy from the poem about the man who was with another woman. Do "soul" and "Control" rhyme?

Well done.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

It's a tanka poem, it's not supposed to rhyme but sometimes it happens unintentionally.

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from Jumbo J

Exceptional

Hi Gypsy Queen,
this beautiful scribed Modern Tanka... the words that just echo without end.... lingering with a deep hollow feeling.

If anything, I get slightly caught up with bounded vs bound... bound sounds clear, rolls off the tongue.

Now in saying that... you capture such a vivid reaction to the scene you painted.

All the very best in this contest Gypsy Queen.

With our thoughts we create...
the illusion of union.

Kind regards,
James.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

Hello, James, It's good to hear from you. Helen told me about the error too so it's fixed now. English is my second language and sometimes it shows.

I hope you and Jade are well.

Gypsy hugs

reply by Jumbo J on 25-Jan-2023

Hi Gypsy Queen,
not so much an error, just a smoother transition... and concidering that your second language is English; you have a firm grip in the weaving of words, painting the scene, leaving this reader in thought of what's been composed.
Can't lie... it's been a little tough on the physical side of life. Pain and injury... injury and pain. Life coming back to remind me... past indiscretions in believing I was indestructible, or at very least, I'd always recover. Hmmmm, not so much now!
I hope you are well my dear friend.
I also hope this is the start of me slowly getting back on site and enjoying what gives me pleasure... reading, sharing, reviewing... floating away in thought.

reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

I'm sad that you are having a hard time. I know what you mean, my body is not able to do the things I did when I was young....sigh... I look forward the day you feel better and can write and review again.

Gypsy hugs
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus

reply by Jumbo J on 25-Jan-2023

Hey Gypsy Queen(((((... I'm hoping small stints reviewing may allow me to get back to what I love to be doing... yes, not only being on this site with the people I hold dear, but other enjoyable activities. You are very kind my dear friend... I appreciate your sentiment, as I appreciate you!

Comment from AP Apgar

Excellent

I like your Modern Tanka poem- nice picture presentation- interesting story line - kind of a twist as the poem ends- writer becomes the observer instead of the principal character- as he strolls on green with her- Good Job AP

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

I have read that scent is one of our strongest senses. That a smell will bring back years of memories. I find that to be true. Thank you for sharing this tanka with us. This dude is with the wrong female. I can tell. LOL

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2023

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reply by the author on 25-Jan-2023

LoL. A strong woman, like you. :)

Thank you very much for your time, kind review, and helpfull feedback.

Gypsy hugs