Red Bird
4/6/5 Haiku4 total reviews
Comment from AP Apgar
I like your modern haiku- excellent picture presentation- red cardinal-
Song on northern wind - open hearted- suggest- just - cardinal bleeds - then it breaks to line two - sounds like the cardinal is bleeding- what if it were Cardinal bleeds murmur - or cardinals murmur bleeds- better in i1st line? in soft northern winds- ...still. 6/5/5 still good on syllables?? Yes? see what you think.. Hug AP
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
I like your modern haiku- excellent picture presentation- red cardinal-
Song on northern wind - open hearted- suggest- just - cardinal bleeds - then it breaks to line two - sounds like the cardinal is bleeding- what if it were Cardinal bleeds murmur - or cardinals murmur bleeds- better in i1st line? in soft northern winds- ...still. 6/5/5 still good on syllables?? Yes? see what you think.. Hug AP
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much with grammer errors, as always, it's appreciated.
Thank you for taking the time to read and review my poem.
Gypsy Sensei ❤
Comment from Teri7
Gypsy, This is a very good and well written 4-6-5 haiku about the cardinal bleeds. You used very good descriptive words and very colorful imagery. thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
Gypsy, This is a very good and well written 4-6-5 haiku about the cardinal bleeds. You used very good descriptive words and very colorful imagery. thank you for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
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Thank you, Teri, I appreciate you taking the time to read and review my poem, you are very kind. Have a wonderful weekend!
Gypsy Hugs
Comment from lyenochka
The beautiful red of the cardinal is striking in the winter wonderland. I like that you call his song "open-hearted" as he can sing even when the cold northern winds blow.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
The beautiful red of the cardinal is striking in the winter wonderland. I like that you call his song "open-hearted" as he can sing even when the cold northern winds blow.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
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How are you doing, big sister? I'm thinking of you and praying the funeral goes well. Thank you for the review. Love you.
MariVal ❤️
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We're still waiting to meet with the funeral home. It will take a while...
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I have heard myths about cardinals coming around with messages from lost family and loves. We have about eight cardinals that live in our backyard. They are fun to watch. Thank you for the wonderful poem.
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
I have heard myths about cardinals coming around with messages from lost family and loves. We have about eight cardinals that live in our backyard. They are fun to watch. Thank you for the wonderful poem.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2022
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Thank you very much, Barbara. You're lucky, cardinals are so pretty. We don't have any where we live but we do have them in Southern California. Have a great weekend. Hugs!
Gypsy Word Weaver