New York's Best: the NYDOE
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "NYCDoHD Spells: Jobs"A Musical in One Act
28 total reviews
Comment from Sally Law
Here I come with my promised six, dear Jay. I'm so enjoying this although I have no song to give at this time. I've been not well, suffering from thyroid induced chronic fatigue. Doc says it may take several months to get in the pink. Needless to say, my mind is not firing as it should.
The post-depression scene is lovely and characters rich and authentic. I think folks today have forgotten how to dress too. I like that your main character, Mr. Kincade is dressed to the nines. Congratulations on your milestone post too. Stellar accomplishment!!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Here I come with my promised six, dear Jay. I'm so enjoying this although I have no song to give at this time. I've been not well, suffering from thyroid induced chronic fatigue. Doc says it may take several months to get in the pink. Needless to say, my mind is not firing as it should.
The post-depression scene is lovely and characters rich and authentic. I think folks today have forgotten how to dress too. I like that your main character, Mr. Kincade is dressed to the nines. Congratulations on your milestone post too. Stellar accomplishment!!
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Awwww, you are such a sweet woman, Sally. Thank you for being here for me. A six wasn't necessary, but certainly welcome. I appreciate you so much!
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
I read this once last night, three times this morning, once this afternoon, and one last time just now. Still, I'm not prepared to offer you anything toward lyrics or a tune for your musical. But I would mention a couple of thoughts.
For example, Mr. Kincade's song in this scene... I am hearing only one instrument, that being a digital piano, amplified, loud polished chords at first, but gradually changing to a Dixie pounding later on.
If someone jumped off the building, and their body splatted to the sidewalk outside, the initial quiet shock would suddenly burst forth with a bagpipe! In other words, the music must match the words of the song, the sentiment, or the action in the musical at the time.
The songs also have to match the times... the Great Depression, and all that goes with it... despair/hope, hunger/soup kitchens and bread lines, shanties/crime, shame/pride, madness/creativity. I might hear dobro guitars (resonators) when they open the doors to the job-seekers at the opening of Scene 2. The file in, stepping all over each other, in their excitement.
https://youtu.be/LCeO2FO-L9k
You know, I think Mr. Kincade wants to just laugh, but he can't. The times are tough. People are committing suicide left and right!
Will Rogers had his own newspaper column in NYC during those days. He wrote: "When Wall Street took that tail spin, you had to stand in line to get a window to jump out of, and speculators were selling space for bodies in the East River."
I don't know how many people were looking for a job from Mr. Kincade that particular day. But there must have been many more than 118. That was Zach's number. He didn't expect to get a job, but he was there anyway, warmed only by the closeness of the crowd. And Mr. Kincade felt somehow responsible to give these down-and outers some employment. He wanted to rise above the depression, to give hope to the hopeless... or at least to Zachary, this poor lad who freely talks about the origin of his name. He probably has no qualifications except a remarkable ability for printing neatly. Many men, especially, could only offer hen-scratching at best. In those days, a good printer was a prize.
I love these lines,
"Gotta keep laughing folks. Otherwise, the tears would freeze on your cheeks."
I also found it quite interesting where Zach explained the meaning of "Israel".
"You see, in Hebrew, Israel is written with a "Y" replacing the "I" at the beginning, and with an apostrophe separating the "a" and the "e" at the end. So, Ysra means he wrestles with ... and El refers to God. So, it's Ysra'El."
As the scene ends, Mr. Kincade wants to get down to business following the Bible lesson. He wants to know about Zach's background. But Zachary believes life is nothing more than a series of wrestling matches. Possibly, obstacles to overcome. He just might be the kind of worker that Mr. Kincade needs. A go-getter. A self-starter. Accomplishments with little supervision.
As always, Jay, some fine writing here. Zach reminds me a bit of Cornelius. A pre-occupied genius.
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Hi Jay,
I read this once last night, three times this morning, once this afternoon, and one last time just now. Still, I'm not prepared to offer you anything toward lyrics or a tune for your musical. But I would mention a couple of thoughts.
For example, Mr. Kincade's song in this scene... I am hearing only one instrument, that being a digital piano, amplified, loud polished chords at first, but gradually changing to a Dixie pounding later on.
If someone jumped off the building, and their body splatted to the sidewalk outside, the initial quiet shock would suddenly burst forth with a bagpipe! In other words, the music must match the words of the song, the sentiment, or the action in the musical at the time.
The songs also have to match the times... the Great Depression, and all that goes with it... despair/hope, hunger/soup kitchens and bread lines, shanties/crime, shame/pride, madness/creativity. I might hear dobro guitars (resonators) when they open the doors to the job-seekers at the opening of Scene 2. The file in, stepping all over each other, in their excitement.
https://youtu.be/LCeO2FO-L9k
You know, I think Mr. Kincade wants to just laugh, but he can't. The times are tough. People are committing suicide left and right!
Will Rogers had his own newspaper column in NYC during those days. He wrote: "When Wall Street took that tail spin, you had to stand in line to get a window to jump out of, and speculators were selling space for bodies in the East River."
I don't know how many people were looking for a job from Mr. Kincade that particular day. But there must have been many more than 118. That was Zach's number. He didn't expect to get a job, but he was there anyway, warmed only by the closeness of the crowd. And Mr. Kincade felt somehow responsible to give these down-and outers some employment. He wanted to rise above the depression, to give hope to the hopeless... or at least to Zachary, this poor lad who freely talks about the origin of his name. He probably has no qualifications except a remarkable ability for printing neatly. Many men, especially, could only offer hen-scratching at best. In those days, a good printer was a prize.
I love these lines,
"Gotta keep laughing folks. Otherwise, the tears would freeze on your cheeks."
I also found it quite interesting where Zach explained the meaning of "Israel".
"You see, in Hebrew, Israel is written with a "Y" replacing the "I" at the beginning, and with an apostrophe separating the "a" and the "e" at the end. So, Ysra means he wrestles with ... and El refers to God. So, it's Ysra'El."
As the scene ends, Mr. Kincade wants to get down to business following the Bible lesson. He wants to know about Zach's background. But Zachary believes life is nothing more than a series of wrestling matches. Possibly, obstacles to overcome. He just might be the kind of worker that Mr. Kincade needs. A go-getter. A self-starter. Accomplishments with little supervision.
As always, Jay, some fine writing here. Zach reminds me a bit of Cornelius. A pre-occupied genius.
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Wow! If I haven't given you the reviewer nod already this month, you deserve and will get it. Never ... never have I ever heard a description of the music that was so spot on to your interpretation of the character. Who would have thought of a single piano (the tinkling kind) and who, for Pete's sake, would have come up with bagpipes? I'm printing out your comments to review many times in connection with the music for this scene and future ones. Oh, my God! Your review is brilliant, Kimbob. Do you sing? Do you read and/or write music? Oh, my God! I can't believe this!
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I'm sure I must have told you at some point, Jay. I've played guitar since I was 15 years old. I took it up after being dumped by a girl when I was in Grade 9 (1965). Never went to another dance, except for my wife's graduation dance in 1972. I led the Youth Choir at Grand Bay Baptist Church for 8 years before starting up a Christian band, "The Potter's Clay". That group only lasted about 3 years. I went on to do concerts with Linda Cameron for quite a few years. Sometimes my wife (Judy) would join us. We did a lot of contemporary Christian music, as well as quite a few of my own tunes. I've played guitar in the worship team at church for many years leading into my "senior" status. But no, I don't read or write music. It's all by ear, and I'm almost deaf in my left ear. I've always loved music, and I sing along with Gordon Lightfoot and The Eagles in the car all the time.
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Yes, yes, I remember about your guitar playing. I'll be sending you a private message.
Jay
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
First, I didn't find it at all long, I reached the end before I was ready too. Now I'll be waiting for the next one. I thought Zachery was a little like Cornelius, he has such an innocence about him. I'm going to enjoy this one, Jay. I'm sorry I didn't have a six left, quite honestly I've been that rough, I don't know where the 6s went. I really enjoyed this. my friend, but then again, I always do enjoy your scripts. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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First, I didn't find it at all long, I reached the end before I was ready too. Now I'll be waiting for the next one. I thought Zachery was a little like Cornelius, he has such an innocence about him. I'm going to enjoy this one, Jay. I'm sorry I didn't have a six left, quite honestly I've been that rough, I don't know where the 6s went. I really enjoyed this. my friend, but then again, I always do enjoy your scripts. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment Written 03-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Never worry about the sixes, dear Sandra, and I promise I won't worry if the situation reverses. Our respect for each other's writing is what shines through, and that is the only thing of importance. Yes, Zachary is a lot like Cornelius, isn't he? I hadn't thought of that before. Thank you for being the one who pushed this over into ATB!
Jay
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You are most welcome. Now you will be one of the very few who will be ATB ranked this week. I enjoyed it. xxxx
Comment from amahra
I'm not a script lover, but you seem to pick fascinating subjects and characters. Having said that, since this musical takes place in an office setting, is it going to mirror, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying"? LOL! I love that movie.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I'm not a script lover, but you seem to pick fascinating subjects and characters. Having said that, since this musical takes place in an office setting, is it going to mirror, "How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying"? LOL! I love that movie.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I've heard of that movie, but I don't believe I've seen it. Thank you, Amahra for hanging with me for this play. I've had some major setbacks on the desired contest for it. I'm writing a post now to explain it to the people who were all fired up about the contest. Bless you for the six stars, my friend. How did you manage to hold it so long?
Jay
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You're welcome. And how did I keep a six for so long? I don't give sixes lightly--only the
well-deserved.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I like your choice of name for Zachary. Odin is one of favorite characters. I used a little of this religious slant in my contest about the sewers of New York.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I like your choice of name for Zachary. Odin is one of favorite characters. I used a little of this religious slant in my contest about the sewers of New York.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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NOw that would be a good setting for a play ... the New York sewer system! Thanks, liz, for reading. Keep an eye out for my post in the next couple of days, explaining about the contest fiasco.
Jay
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As Mr.Kinkaid stands, the stage light shines onto the clock on the wall which reads 9:15 am.
First ½ Chorus slowly chants: Late late Squish squish
Second ½ Chorus chants: squish squish
Mr. Kinkaid: What have I done? What must I do? I am the conductor of this city. And now I have the dregs of the toilets of every person in this my city?in my shoes
Chorus: The dregs of every toilet?toilet?flush?squish?in his shoes
Mr. Kinkaid: They told me the sewers could not hold
Chorus: Hold
Mr. Kinkaid: Could not hold the rainwater if it kept up too long
Chorus: Rain rain go away?squish
Mr. Kinkaid: But did I listen?
Chorus: Noooooooo
Mr. Kinkaid: No I did not
Chorus shaking their heads : He did not
Mr. Kinkaid: And did it stop raining?
Chorus: Noooooooo
Mr. Kinkaid: It did not
Chorus shaking their heads : It did not
Mr. Kinkaid: And the streets filled with water and sewage and I walked in it.
First ½ Chorus slowly chants: Squish squish
Second ½ Chorus chants: squish squish
Mr. Kinkaid: Where is that Lord who was watching over me now. Doesn?t he watch other the sewers too? Oh, Lord! I need you to watch over my sewers. I am the dregs of the sewers of this city.
As he knelt the Chorus chants: flush?squish
Mr. Kinkaid: Have mercy on my me. I will listen to all from now on.
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Keep these lyrics, Liz! I may not be able to have the contest on FS. (Read my post coming out in a few days). But I want to look this over in connection with scene 2. I like this!
Jay
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a consolation prize...I drove in NY sewage, almost go stuck. My friend's former husband was in charge of the Brooklyn plant.
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Weren't you glad you didn't have a flat and have to change it?
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ewwww yes...I got seriously lost too. I finally called my friend on a payphone & when I told her where I was, she said get out of there immediately.She was afraid I'd get my face ripped off. I guess I was among bad company. I don't know how it happened, but I kept driving back the way I came & I found the street I was supposed to have turned onto. The street sign was poorly placed. There was just one problem and a clear foreshadowing. There were at least 2 cars stalled & abandoned with water up to the hubcaps. in the lane I was supposed to be in. I veered into the on coming lane and made it through, only to have my car stall. The fan belt go wet. I waited a few minutes and the car started right up. Phew... My friend's was about 10 minutes up that street.
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Wow! There's a short story lurking there, Liz, just waiting for you to write it. What tension you could tap into.
Jay
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I copied it so I'll have already worked on composing it. I am soon, after Be Wee With 3, beginning to sort out my 20+ year in the writing autobiography with many vignettes. I'm writing by themes.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
To the contrary, I really like this scene because it's so silly that I really like it. I can also sing along with Mr. Kincaid with your lyrics. I like the way you explain the meaning of Israel in Hebrew:
So, Ysra means he wrestles with ... and El refers to God. So, it's Ysra'El.
If this is true, then I have learnt something.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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To the contrary, I really like this scene because it's so silly that I really like it. I can also sing along with Mr. Kincaid with your lyrics. I like the way you explain the meaning of Israel in Hebrew:
So, Ysra means he wrestles with ... and El refers to God. So, it's Ysra'El.
If this is true, then I have learnt something.
Excellent.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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You are right ... and thanks to Google research, I learned something too and incorporated it into my play. Thank you so much for the six stars, Lisa. I so appreciate your loyalty to this play.
Jay
Comment from Judy Lawless
I loved this scene, Jay! Zachary is a great new character, and I like the way you introduced him with Mr. Kincade's questions, and Zachary's unique responses. I sure hope there is a job for him. I even enjoyed Mr. Kincade's musical interlude. :)
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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I loved this scene, Jay! Zachary is a great new character, and I like the way you introduced him with Mr. Kincade's questions, and Zachary's unique responses. I sure hope there is a job for him. I even enjoyed Mr. Kincade's musical interlude. :)
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2022
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Oh, great! I'm thrilled that you found this scene so enjoyable. It's walking a tightrope, trying to keep Zachary fresh and interesting, while not overloading the dialogue and making it unbelievable or ... horror! boring! Thank you so much for the lovely six stars and your impressions.
Jay
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You?re most welcome, Jay. :)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Never a script fan, as I've said before. Your witty lines and wordsmith talents drew me into your past offerings, but your first two scenes of this one take your magical, rhythmic melodies of lines and lyrics to a new level. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Never a script fan, as I've said before. Your witty lines and wordsmith talents drew me into your past offerings, but your first two scenes of this one take your magical, rhythmic melodies of lines and lyrics to a new level. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Awwww, Ric, you are too kind. Thanks for your encouragement and the chartreuse crossed Bandaids. Your loyalty is appreciated.
Jay
Comment from Wendy G
I can see this as a stage musical for sure - judging by this piece, which reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof in the song of Mr Kincade! I quite like what you have written, and I doubt I could do any better. But I 'll have a think and hope inspiration might come.
Congratulations on your Milestone Post. Well done!
Wendy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I can see this as a stage musical for sure - judging by this piece, which reminds me of Fiddler on the Roof in the song of Mr Kincade! I quite like what you have written, and I doubt I could do any better. But I 'll have a think and hope inspiration might come.
Congratulations on your Milestone Post. Well done!
Wendy
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Wendy, for both your kind words and the comparison with such a fine musical. Mr. Kincade is walking on air!
Jay
Comment from nomi338
I hesitate to offer a review, feeling as I do, that I am not truly qualified. I have very little experience with viewing plays. After, however, viewing Hamilton, I am forced to evaluate all plays based on that play and the performances. I can honestly say that I was able to visualize all the scenes as they unfolded. So, I give you credit for that. I hope that the other reviews you get are more helpful than my poor effort. I wish you good luck.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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I hesitate to offer a review, feeling as I do, that I am not truly qualified. I have very little experience with viewing plays. After, however, viewing Hamilton, I am forced to evaluate all plays based on that play and the performances. I can honestly say that I was able to visualize all the scenes as they unfolded. So, I give you credit for that. I hope that the other reviews you get are more helpful than my poor effort. I wish you good luck.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2022
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So good to see you again, Nolan. If I looked as distinguished as you in a suit, I'd never be caught dead in my t-shirt and sweats. You're not the first person who made the odd connection between my musical and Hamilton. I've gotta see that play!
Jay.
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It is awesome. And thank you for the compliment.