The Dilemma
A marriage in turmoil27 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wow, this is worse than a slap in the face. A steam roller, inflicting more mental and bodily pain and torment than any person or marriage could possibly stand. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Wow, this is worse than a slap in the face. A steam roller, inflicting more mental and bodily pain and torment than any person or marriage could possibly stand. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Ric, thanks for reading my attempt at fiction. I am having some fun trying to write it. Terry.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
First Lena Horne now Lyle Lovett, you sure do move in high style company.
Five-and-a-half carats, your computer company must have done pretty well. I thought I was splurging when I bought my wife a one-carat engagement ring, way to go big fella.
We had a Quality consulting company and I traveled to Mexico for my biggest client about once every three months. It wasn't bad when I first started but there, towards the end, I was almost glad it was time to get out of the business. It was getting pretty scary.
I know the feeling. Once you see it, whether you like it or not, you have to see more.
I should have checked the classification of the article first, general fiction, before reading. I have experienced something so familiar, and it sickens me to think about those days. Then to discover that perhaps one of my fellow FanStory writers has experienced the same abuse, made me gag. I am so grateful this is fiction.
Excellent story, so well told, so believable in details and accounts. I found a couple of silly SPAGs but I am not even going to mention them. The weight of the story carries this one over the six-star threshold.
Very well done, one of your best, in my humble opinion.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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First Lena Horne now Lyle Lovett, you sure do move in high style company.
Five-and-a-half carats, your computer company must have done pretty well. I thought I was splurging when I bought my wife a one-carat engagement ring, way to go big fella.
We had a Quality consulting company and I traveled to Mexico for my biggest client about once every three months. It wasn't bad when I first started but there, towards the end, I was almost glad it was time to get out of the business. It was getting pretty scary.
I know the feeling. Once you see it, whether you like it or not, you have to see more.
I should have checked the classification of the article first, general fiction, before reading. I have experienced something so familiar, and it sickens me to think about those days. Then to discover that perhaps one of my fellow FanStory writers has experienced the same abuse, made me gag. I am so grateful this is fiction.
Excellent story, so well told, so believable in details and accounts. I found a couple of silly SPAGs but I am not even going to mention them. The weight of the story carries this one over the six-star threshold.
Very well done, one of your best, in my humble opinion.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Gary, Wow, I am a bit overwhelmed by your review. Your experience sounds intense. Thank you for the six stars. I admit this is a departure for me, as I tried to write something a little different. Thank you so much. Terry.
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It was so real, from the first sentence I thought for sure some FanStory member was venting their worst life experience. I had to check the classification to make sure. The fiction is undetectable otherwise.
Such a good read
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Damn, Terry, you need to stop doing this to your old female readers. This story was "Tony Tiger Great" until I saw you were not telling the ending until goodness knows when. I am sitting here in Virginia upset because you didn't finish your story for me. LOL It is well-written, and you my friend are a tease! Well, you snagged me again like you did on the Sperm Donor saga. I will be back, said like Arnold. I realize now it is in the book chapter contest, so I cannot be but so perturbed. LOL
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Damn, Terry, you need to stop doing this to your old female readers. This story was "Tony Tiger Great" until I saw you were not telling the ending until goodness knows when. I am sitting here in Virginia upset because you didn't finish your story for me. LOL It is well-written, and you my friend are a tease! Well, you snagged me again like you did on the Sperm Donor saga. I will be back, said like Arnold. I realize now it is in the book chapter contest, so I cannot be but so perturbed. LOL
Comment Written 28-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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LOL, Sandra, thank you for reading and for your very fun review. It is not actually in the contest even though it is listed that way. Terry.
Comment from Annmuma
It's a six star post and I hope you will decide to add some extra chapters! Good character development -- not the same sort of twist at the end. More of a hook for the next chapter. I wish it had made the contest deadline. Good work. ann
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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It's a six star post and I hope you will decide to add some extra chapters! Good character development -- not the same sort of twist at the end. More of a hook for the next chapter. I wish it had made the contest deadline. Good work. ann
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Ann, thank you for the six stars. I am not sure where to take the story, if I try to take it anywhere. Terry.
Comment from Spitfire
I applaud your story for holding my attention for this long read. What a perfect husband to still give her a five and a half diamond ring after she cheated. I like the wife's feeble attempt to compare it to the popular movie.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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I applaud your story for holding my attention for this long read. What a perfect husband to still give her a five and a half diamond ring after she cheated. I like the wife's feeble attempt to compare it to the popular movie.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading and for your review. Terry.
Comment from evilynne
What a story! It is well written and intriguing and is certainly a great first book chapter. I can't wait to read more! Best of luck in the contest! Evi
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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What a story! It is well written and intriguing and is certainly a great first book chapter. I can't wait to read more! Best of luck in the contest! Evi
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Evi, wow, thank you for the six stars. I am delighted you found the story intriguing. Thank you very much! Terry.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I admire your ambition to write a novel. Your first chapter is off to a great start with mystery and suspense, and final questions for the protagonist and reader to ponder. Best wishes in the contest.
Note:
In early May, a few weeks before our anniversary party. (Not a complete sentence. You could add a comma at the end of 'party' and blend the sentence into the next sentence).
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I admire your ambition to write a novel. Your first chapter is off to a great start with mystery and suspense, and final questions for the protagonist and reader to ponder. Best wishes in the contest.
Note:
In early May, a few weeks before our anniversary party. (Not a complete sentence. You could add a comma at the end of 'party' and blend the sentence into the next sentence).
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading a find an edit, I will look at that problem. It will not be a novel, and it is not even in the contest, despite what it says. Terry.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Wow. Just wow. Why would anyone contemplate staying with a woman who does this? I think anytime that a spouse is cutting out for extended periods it is suspicious. There are plenty of big beautiful fish in the sea.
Very well written. I didn't like it, because I was on the receiving end of this, but I saw no major grammatical errors. Just a day in the life.
Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Wow. Just wow. Why would anyone contemplate staying with a woman who does this? I think anytime that a spouse is cutting out for extended periods it is suspicious. There are plenty of big beautiful fish in the sea.
Very well written. I didn't like it, because I was on the receiving end of this, but I saw no major grammatical errors. Just a day in the life.
Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Douglas, thank you for your review. Your insight if right on! Terry.
Comment from lyenochka
What a shock for Frank! She's been two-timing with TWO men. That's has got to hurt. But there's hope for something that the investigator doesn't know. Maybe they are a trio of spies working undercover? This has potential for a lot to happen! Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions:
Maybe make this part direct dialogue:
"That first night back home, she wanted to make love to me. But it didn't happen. I said something like maybe later."
Ruben Gutman. (Make this German name more Spanish -- Ruben Guzman)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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What a shock for Frank! She's been two-timing with TWO men. That's has got to hurt. But there's hope for something that the investigator doesn't know. Maybe they are a trio of spies working undercover? This has potential for a lot to happen! Best wishes in the contest!
Suggestions:
Maybe make this part direct dialogue:
"That first night back home, she wanted to make love to me. But it didn't happen. I said something like maybe later."
Ruben Gutman. (Make this German name more Spanish -- Ruben Guzman)
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Helen thank you for reading and reviewing my story. I also appreciate your ideas. This is a one and done story. And despite the listing it is not in a contest. Terry.
Comment from John Ciarmello
Well, well, well! This is quite a dilemma. A super well-written and interesting storyline, Terry. I hope this is going to be more than just a contest entry. I would love to see where you take this. The characters are intriguing. Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Well, well, well! This is quite a dilemma. A super well-written and interesting storyline, Terry. I hope this is going to be more than just a contest entry. I would love to see where you take this. The characters are intriguing. Best, JohnC
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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John, thank you for reading and your review. This is a one and done. I know it?s listed as in a contest, but actually it is not. Terry