The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Revelations"Adventures around & upon a hill
10 total reviews
Comment from Liz Westfall
I find the idea for this piece very interesting. I haven't seen a lot of writing on reincarnation, let alone a group of souls who remember each other. I will say that in parts, it felt a bit convoluted. But, overall very nice!
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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I find the idea for this piece very interesting. I haven't seen a lot of writing on reincarnation, let alone a group of souls who remember each other. I will say that in parts, it felt a bit convoluted. But, overall very nice!
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. It is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. You could begin on chapter 16 to get into it. No need for a review, just enjoy.
I am showing people how difficult the monk and Sisters' lives were. I lived this life for 3 years, a total of 28 years. Then things finally relaxed for the Sisters anyway. Things were much slower for the monks. In the 60's the ones in Vermont were nearly starving, with no recreation or fun.
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've done a nice job of summarizing the events of the trip back to the 16th century, Liz. It explains a lot. The only thing I found in reading this is sometimes I'm not sure who is speaking and to whom. Perhaps adding a few tags, or a reference to the people might help. It's been an interesting journey.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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You've done a nice job of summarizing the events of the trip back to the 16th century, Liz. It explains a lot. The only thing I found in reading this is sometimes I'm not sure who is speaking and to whom. Perhaps adding a few tags, or a reference to the people might help. It's been an interesting journey.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I'm glad you're enjoying it. I was soundly scolded by Jay when I told him we are winding down. He said even though readers wanted me to have them visit a museum I would refuse. We know when we are done. I'm going to have a little more discussion then we'll travel to the top of the Tor then balance our energies, then I move on to my next project. It is an autobiography of sorts that I began 20 years ago.
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You?re most welcome, Liz. I did read your discussion with Jay. It surprised me a little. I guess he just wasn?t expecting it to be over.
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I guess not. But for the writer as you know, when we're done, we're done.
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That is so true, Liz.
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***smile***
Comment from Jay Squires
That should just about cover all the fixing of the 21st century characters with their 16th century counterparts. Next will be the visit to an England museum to see the pottery shards and Coptic socks. I only found one tiny glitch:
"I relaxed when it occurred to me that there is little chance [... that there WAS little chance ...]
I suspect we are on the tail of an adventure, perhaps as a result of the visit to the museum. The tension is starting to flag and there needs to be another grand obstacle, in my opinion.
Jay
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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That should just about cover all the fixing of the 21st century characters with their 16th century counterparts. Next will be the visit to an England museum to see the pottery shards and Coptic socks. I only found one tiny glitch:
"I relaxed when it occurred to me that there is little chance [... that there WAS little chance ...]
I suspect we are on the tail of an adventure, perhaps as a result of the visit to the museum. The tension is starting to flag and there needs to be another grand obstacle, in my opinion.
Jay
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. There is no adventure per se (whatever that phrase means) We are wind down and finishing discussing our trauma, we'll go to the top of the Tor, balance out & it's over. Onto my next writing challenge I began in the 90's.
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Help me if I'm wrong here. But there are two issues: Writing to find what a reader needs to experience in order to emerge with that feeling of satisfaction in a tale. The other issue is the writer's development creatively and spiritually. The latter is intensely personal and developmental. If that is what you are doing, there is no one but you on the developing end. There are of course gurus and spirit guides, but they are there for direction only. They won't make the journey for you.
It seems your answer makes it clear that the characters will have their defining moment, they will balance at the top of Tor ... and regardless of the reader's ultimate satisfaction, you pull the plug on that piece, and move on.
As to bringing to conclusion a spiritual exercise, I can't help you. You don't need me or anyone here on FanStory. My suggestions and critiques will always be far off the mark because you are not looking for improvement in your story-telling skills.
Do I have it about right?
Jay
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Rhis story has gone on log enough. It is based on my actual experience with the exception of the fun little trip into the 16th century. If you read from the beginning, every bit of it is true. I want to finish with what really happened. We only went to King Arthur's Castle where there were interesting images in pictures I took, But other than that, the whole England event was finished & we headed home.
This whole book began as a glorified travelogue. I have my autobiography of sorts to seriously shape up. I began it in the 90's. That's where I'm headed. There are lots of fun things for readers to enjoy and for you to guide me in.
Comment from lyenochka
It's great to hear all these revelations of who recognized whom back in the 16th century. I do hope they go to a museum and see the handiwork that they did.
I admired how well you avoided the final quotes to show it was the same speaker talking in the next paragraph. But the last sentence doesn't have it either so I guess the same speaker continues in the next part.
Some text is in grey not black such as "Jill was fascinated by my discovery."
able to feasible wedge the door open. (feasibly)
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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It's great to hear all these revelations of who recognized whom back in the 16th century. I do hope they go to a museum and see the handiwork that they did.
I admired how well you avoided the final quotes to show it was the same speaker talking in the next paragraph. But the last sentence doesn't have it either so I guess the same speaker continues in the next part.
Some text is in grey not black such as "Jill was fascinated by my discovery."
able to feasible wedge the door open. (feasibly)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your observant review. I do not know why the print is different. I noticed that too. I set it all to be the same with the advanced settings. You'd think it would all be the same. Wouldn't it be weird to go to a museum and see something you recognized something particular, you made or used in a past life.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I'm sure it does them good to learn who did what and was whom at the monastery. And they had the chance to thank those who protected them from further punishment. The idea of them going to a museum to see if anything they created in the monastery exists.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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I'm sure it does them good to learn who did what and was whom at the monastery. And they had the chance to thank those who protected them from further punishment. The idea of them going to a museum to see if anything they created in the monastery exists.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. Wouldn't that be weird to go to a museum and find something you made or used in a past life?
Comment from aryr
A great continuation chapter, Liz. I really enjoyed how Madeline was able to connect all the dots of the puzzle. She was able to identify everyone in their alternative forms. I liked the idea of searching for museums which might have pottery or even Coptic socks. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. I eagerly await the next chapter.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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A great continuation chapter, Liz. I really enjoyed how Madeline was able to connect all the dots of the puzzle. She was able to identify everyone in their alternative forms. I liked the idea of searching for museums which might have pottery or even Coptic socks. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. I eagerly await the next chapter.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your appreciative review. Wouldn't that be weird to go to a museum and find something you made or used in a past life?
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Even better, that you used it or made it, Liz. You are most welcome.
Comment from Mabaker12
Okay Liz I have the story straight now and it's a very good description of a time and place that would have felled lesser people than our travellers. One little hiccup, " I clandestinely hurried... Only one complication, There was NO door in the back.I continued my account of how I got in... I was Able to feasible Wedge The DOOR open.
Apart from that, Liz your work is perfect. Luv U Anne.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Okay Liz I have the story straight now and it's a very good description of a time and place that would have felled lesser people than our travellers. One little hiccup, " I clandestinely hurried... Only one complication, There was NO door in the back.I continued my account of how I got in... I was Able to feasible Wedge The DOOR open.
Apart from that, Liz your work is perfect. Luv U Anne.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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I'm glad it is all caught up. Thank you for the observation. I will attend to it immediately.
Luv U back Liz So good to have you here.
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Ah, it's words like this that keep me coming back for more. its Wed here 5.35 am here so I will ring you at 1pm my time.
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I'm here
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I've just been handed a body-blow my doctor informs me I am high-grade diabetic! That sat me back on my heels. Here I have been thinking I was so healthy when Bam! So it's goodbye to Coke etc etc.. What a thing to tell someone my age Bah!
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Luv U
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I'll send healing to you and courage that you can find decent sugar free foods.
Luv you more
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THANK YOU SO FO THE LOVEY THOUGHTS AND prayers. Luv U Anne.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I'm sure that for their mental healths and proper closure, the women they need to go through this. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to add much to your novel. I hope you can dispatch it concisely. Kate xx
Note: 'I was able to feasible wedge the door' is grammatically impossible.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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I'm sure that for their mental healths and proper closure, the women they need to go through this. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to add much to your novel. I hope you can dispatch it concisely. Kate xx
Note: 'I was able to feasible wedge the door' is grammatically impossible.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review & for your observation. I will attend to it immediately
Comment from Jasmine Girl
What an interesting idea to turn a 21st century person into one in the 16th century or vice versa. They can even have different sex. I need to red previous chapters to understand more.
Well done.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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What an interesting idea to turn a 21st century person into one in the 16th century or vice versa. They can even have different sex. I need to red previous chapters to understand more.
Well done.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review.
Remember if you go back to my portfolio you do not have to do any reviews.
Comment from jessizero
I would love to see the ladies' reactions to seeing artifacts in the museum. I enjoyed this installment as much as the others. Thanks so much. Best wishes to you, as always.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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I would love to see the ladies' reactions to seeing artifacts in the museum. I enjoyed this installment as much as the others. Thanks so much. Best wishes to you, as always.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your enthusiastic reaction. Could you imagine if we could go to a museum and see something we made in a past life? So cool.