Reviews from

The Return

Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Return Chapter 8"
Erotic Turmoil

40 total reviews 
Comment from DeboraDyess
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi again ~
I'm enjoying this but don't think I'd be quite as willing to give my life up as Margo seems to be. I'd think it would be more of an emotional struggle. At least, for me.
Thoughts:
~ Margot's eyebrows shot up at that, but didn't say anything. >> Sounds like the eyebrows were planning on saying something.
~

 Comment Written 25-Mar-2022


reply by the author on 26-Mar-2022
    Thank you, Debs, I'm glad you spotted this one, I've chaned that to..
    Margot's eyebrows shot up at that, but she stayed quiet...

    I really laughed at the idea of Margot's eyebrows talking!! Thanks, my friend. Love and hugs. Sandra xxx
Comment from tfawcus
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

At last! I imagine this is a portal into the past. I hope they've got a bell in the coffin at the far end of the journey, so someone can let her out! Margot's had a great deal more patience with Bessie than I might have done in similar circumstances!

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 24-Feb-2022
    Hi, Tony. Thank you so much for this lovely review, and the golden sixth star!! Everyone has said more or less the same thing about Bessie. You will learn a little more about her in the next part, but still not enough to satisfy you all, lol. I like to keep something back.
    What happened to your chapter this week? I hope we get another one at the weekend. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Well written.
You must have received a bunch or edits before you cited your UK English disclaimer. :-)
she made straight for the cooking range where the pot was being kept warm, - real coffee drinkers would want it kept hot, not warm :-)
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Thank you so much for your thoughtful review, Wayne. Yes I was getting edits pointed out when I joined 11 years ago.

    Many English UK spellings are different to your American spellings. We add a 'u' to many spellings that you don't, and mainly use a double L in words that again, you don't. ie, US color, UK colour, US traveling, UK travelling... And many more, but I was doing the same back. Lol.
    The only edits a few readers try to correct are the characters with their local dialects. Bessie is modeled from a friend of mine.

    Thanks for that pick-up with the coffee keeping warm/hot. I'll change that. Warm hugs! :)) Sandra xx
reply by Wayne Fowler on 23-Feb-2022
    I would almost NEVER comment on dialogue - people talk how they talk. As in "Slingblade" Ah lahk the way you tahlk."
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    I agree with you, I also think it adds depth to the story. Thanks again, Wayne.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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I like your story, but it is getting scientific superficial. When it comes to ghost living inside a person's body, it's surreal. Ouch! What is going to happen to Margot? How does it happen Meg and Margot have the same last name? Perhaps relatives?

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Those questions will be answered, later, Rosemary, you will learn a lot more in the next chapters. :)) It is time for the story to open up now, and for Margot to find out just what is going on. Thank you so much for another lovely review, my friend. I really do appreciate all your comments. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Excellent
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Another good continuation of the tale here. Well-written and everything driving the plot forward.

I so want a hand to shoot out the ground and scare the poop out of her... but alas, your story, not mine! lol

thing as a time travelling taxi. - I'd be inclined to hyphenate time-travelling here.


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Thank you, Gareth, I'm glad you are still enjoying the story. I've hyphenated time-travelling. I often miss those. You'll enjoy the start of the next chapter, it won't be a hand shooting out, but still not what she expected. Lol. Thank again, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Sandra,
It looks like the story is about to take a dramatic turn,
going back to That Time again.
Perhaps she'll meet Veronica and Mildred. LOL
I was a little surprised Margot didn't read the inscription
on the Meg's gravestone before touching it,
maybe Meg's the time traveler.
But much will soon become clear.
On thing I thought a little odd is the Margot
didn't contact her parents or grandparents to learn about
her ancestry or maybe she doesn't have any.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert



 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Hi Robert, thank you so much for this great review. I forgot to write that in, about Margot reading the inscription. I'll add that to my MS Copy, thank you for that. You're right about a dramatic turn coming up, I sometimes think you read my plot before I've written it!!! It doubt Margot will meet Veronica and Mildred, Lol. Thank you, dear friend, for the golden nugget, I do appreciate your reviews and stars a lot. Warm hugs, Sandra xxx
Comment from Ethan Vandervelden
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very good chapter!

You built a lot of anticipation in this chapter and have really drawn the reader in. I am looking forward to where the story is going!
You have done an excellent job of leaving the reader with more questions than answers.
On a side note you did a really good job of activating the senses in this chapter, smell, sight, touch, etc! Really good, particularly when Margot and Bess enter the church.

Thank you for sharing! Looking forward to continuing the read!



 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Thank you so very much for this really lovely review, Ethan, and the golden sixth star! You've made my day. Your comments are just what most writers love to read, and I'm over the moon! Thank you. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from Chrissy710
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Once again have caught up lol
Great story and I look forward to next chapter . Your writing style makes for easy but engaging reading I dont look for spags etc too intrigued with the story line to notice
Cheers Chrisxx

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    I'm glad you have, and thank you so much for doing so and for that lovely golden star to go with it. I do like it that you were too involved in the story to find any spags, that's what I like to hear!! Thanks, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Excellent
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Ingenious--can't wait to see how you pull this off--excruciating suspense--you are a master of the craft--a fine example of the genre--compelling and intense.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    I do hope you like the next chapter. At least one question will be answered. :) Thanks for the compliment!! I'm delighted you are enjoying this story. Long may you do so! Lol. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I find your story growing steadily more interesting. It's hard to wait for the next chapter at this point. Your writing is very good and growing better, but the paragraph that begins: Bessie was already in the kitchen . . . is a little awkward and I'm not entirely sure why that is, but I read it 3 times before I saw the action.

 Comment Written 22-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 23-Feb-2022
    Thank you so much for another lovely review, Carol. I'll take a look at that sentence you weren't happy with. I'm glad you're still enjoying my story! Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra