Reviews from

The Tor

Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Mary and Michael Crossing"
Adventures around & upon a hill

10 total reviews 
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I found this extremely interesting and intriguing. This is something that I have never heard of before. I'm glad you added the footnotes and explained it a bit more. I may go on your facebook page and check this out some more.

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you are interested. You are welcome to go to my portfolio to read the previous chapters. There is no need for reviews. Just enjoy. You are very welcome to join the dowsing group. No commitment. There are a few questions to answer about your exposure to dowsing. That is all. Then there are lessons if your want to learn.
Comment from Melodie Michelle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent story my friend and the characters interact nicely together and the storyline was captivating and held my attention throughout the piece!

Thank you for sharing and may God bless you;-)

 Comment Written 08-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 09-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad it was interesting for you. If you haven't read all of the previous chapters, feel free to go to my portfolio. No reviews are necessary, just enjoy.
reply by Melodie Michelle on 09-Feb-2022
    ;-)
Comment from JanPerry
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Your profile as a teacher is mighty impressive. I like how it makes sense even though it's just one chapter from your book.

I don't usually read fiction stories but yours is enchanting and I give it a six stars. Mostly because it screams creativity. Well done!

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you for the lovely review and the shiny 6. This isn't fiction yet. It happened just this way when I was invited to accompany 2 of my friends to England since one was taking this harp therapy course. When we were there, we were reminded of some past life twinges. This story will deviate from the truth when...***Spoiler***I step through a vortex into the 7th century into a monastery. When we were there were were sure we were there in a past life. This inspired me to deviate a bit. That place has quite a history along with Glastonbury Tor. I've still got to study up on it. The monk- dom won't be too difficult as I was in the convent for 28 years...lol You're welcome to read along in the portfolio. There is no need for individual reviews. Just enjoy.
reply by JanPerry on 06-Feb-2022
    England has so much rich history, you have a great palette to start with.
reply by the author on 06-Feb-2022
    I forget how old England is. The United States is so young.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
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A very nice continuation of the outing of your narrator and Cordelia. You have managed to portray tiredeness well, and tension because of things yet to come.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your lovely review. I'm glad you are appreciating it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another interesting chapter in your story of finding energy zones. I think it would be good if you could write a little more about Silbury hill as it sounds like you are describing Mound Builder mounds in the USA. Also, with the phrase "eyes fixed on a stalwart . . " What is a stalwart? Don't recognize the term.

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
    Stalwart is a strong powerful way of being.

    There is little known about Silbury Hill. I did include a link.
reply by Carol Hillebrenner on 05-Feb-2022
    I thought stalwart was being used as a noun, not an adjective. My mistake.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2022
    It is used as both parts of speech. I was personifying the mound. Here's a dictionary example: "In August, the Los Angeles-area stalwart the Lab also closed its dance space, a 12,000-square-foot location in West Covina. Known for its vigorous, ?Olympic-style? coaching of young dancers"
Comment from aryr
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. I really enjoyed the adventures of Madeline and Cornelia immensely. I felt at home with the stone circles but was cautious when the ladies approached Silbury Hill. Perhaps there is something there? I guess I will await the next chapter. Very well done, greatly enjoyed.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your great review. I'm glad you are enjoying this story.
reply by aryr on 04-Feb-2022
    You are so very welcome, Liz.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoy reading chapters of stories on Fanstory. I just happened upon this chapter which is like being dropped in another world. You have piqued my curiosity. Your story is well-written. I do not see any room for improvement.

 Comment Written 03-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your pleasant review. If you want to catch up, feel free to go to my portfolio and read the previous chapters. No need for reviews. Just read it like you would a book you own and enjoy.
reply by eliz100 on 04-Feb-2022
    Yes I did that working my way through.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2022
    Great...big smile
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well done. Are those chills a forewarning of something about to happen during the drive? Perhaps Cordelia (love that name) will try and do something bad. Well, it is a cliff hanger, that makes the reader turn the page. Good job.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your delightful review.You are only the 2nd one to pick up the foreshadowing. As long as we're on the fun subject. No one has caught Cordelia's significant, PUnny name
reply by lancellot on 02-Feb-2022
    I thought you got that name from one of the female characters from the shows Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022

    Actually it was my grandmother's sister's name. Maybe I should spell her name differently Chordelia...see if you get it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another fascinating chapter, Liz. I feel drawn to try to feel the energy or chills that the women are experiencing. It keeps me focused on the story. Well done.

One suggestion: in this paragraph, you've introduced the dialogue, but also told us what was going to be said before it was said, more or less.
"As we neared the last stone, Cordelia said she wondered if the backs of these stones were any different. "Hey, we never checked in the rear of these stones." - I would say: As we neared the last stone, Cordelia said, "Hey, we never checked in the rear of these stones. I wonder if there is a difference."

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
    Thank you for your supportive review. You suggestion is much better. I'm glad to know it is having the effect I was hoping for. There is someone who wants me to make it more exciting. This is the way it happened. I do not need to embellish upon reality.
reply by Judy Lawless on 02-Feb-2022
    You're welcome, Liz, and you're right, you can't turn truth into fantasy.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
    ***smile***
Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I wonder why Madeline us feeling those chills. And how interesting that her camera could pick up the figures in the stone that were dancing. And how did they know that there was a similar site on Mars?

"I had to remove my pendant," *I wished for a bit more description about the pendant.) And was the pendant the "pendulum"??

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2022


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
    The pendant is described in Chapter 9:"This is a yoga goddess with a moonstone for the face and an amethyst for the center." Do you think I should have reviewed it? Your other question was also covered in that conversation. That is what she uses for her pendulum because it is so convenient. That is the problem of the artificiality pf how we read chapters on here. This is why I'm devouring your great story.


reply by lyenochka on 02-Feb-2022
    Ah, you're right I am following too many stories all at once and yours comes once a week so I probably missed that detail. Thanks for explaining! I think even in a book, it's okay to give some details again. Focus isn't anyone's strong point in the realm of online reading these days. 😊
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2022
    My ADD certainly can use repetition
    Thank you, I can see how I can work it in