Passing Through
An monostich ekphrastic8 total reviews
Comment from Paul McFarland
Very good for one line. I always look forward to the V formation of the geese as they wing their way south in the winter, and then again on their north bound journey in the spring.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2021
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Very good for one line. I always look forward to the V formation of the geese as they wing their way south in the winter, and then again on their north bound journey in the spring.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Paul, for sharing my poem. I, too, look forward to these journeys. Rod
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Monostich Poetry writing prompt contest. Your poem form is well done. The presentation is lovely. . Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2021
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Excellent entry for the Monostich Poetry writing prompt contest. Your poem form is well done. The presentation is lovely. . Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
Comment Written 23-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 24-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, Gypsy, for your praise of my monostich.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I have never heard of the word "Skein" before? I see geese flying about in my home town and they actually look quite graceful whilst flying, it is when they land they amuse me as it is always a crash landing as they skid on the surface of the water! You brought the scene to life here, love Dolly
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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I have never heard of the word "Skein" before? I see geese flying about in my home town and they actually look quite graceful whilst flying, it is when they land they amuse me as it is always a crash landing as they skid on the surface of the water! You brought the scene to life here, love Dolly
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2021
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Hi, Dolly. Thanks for sharing and praising my poem. Do you knit? A SKEIN is a long piece of yarn. Think of those geese flying in a long line. Today I saw a flight of almost a thousand geese strung out across the entire sky.
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I have knitted things in the past, not heard of this word before though x x x
Comment from Crystal Clear Visions
I love this combination of how detailed oriented it is; along with nature. Picture is very beautiful. Most certainly fits the description of the poem. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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I love this combination of how detailed oriented it is; along with nature. Picture is very beautiful. Most certainly fits the description of the poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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I am delighted you enjoyed my ekphrastic, Crystal. Thank you for your kind praise.
Comment from VJWild
Yes, I can definitely picture this without the actual artwork. Title flows nicely with the first line. Makes me want to hear that cold crunch under my boots. Well done!
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Yes, I can definitely picture this without the actual artwork. Title flows nicely with the first line. Makes me want to hear that cold crunch under my boots. Well done!
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thank you very much, VJWild, for sharing my poem. I am delighted you could envision the scene without the artwork.
Comment from R R McIntyre
Absolutely beautiful, and paints a perfectly vivid mental image without the accompanying picture (though I understand this is a ekphrastic, and so needs it).
I don't think cloud needs to be plural: "grey-white strips of cloud" is perfectly grammatical, and has a stronger end sound. There's a lot of sibilant sounds in the second half of the line: "skein" "geese" "south" "amidst" strips" and "clouds" that create a slight hissing sensation that may be entirely intentional, but I feel like the 'd' stop adds a nice sensation of finality.
Either way, brilliant poem, and a beautiful description of the scene.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Absolutely beautiful, and paints a perfectly vivid mental image without the accompanying picture (though I understand this is a ekphrastic, and so needs it).
I don't think cloud needs to be plural: "grey-white strips of cloud" is perfectly grammatical, and has a stronger end sound. There's a lot of sibilant sounds in the second half of the line: "skein" "geese" "south" "amidst" strips" and "clouds" that create a slight hissing sensation that may be entirely intentional, but I feel like the 'd' stop adds a nice sensation of finality.
Either way, brilliant poem, and a beautiful description of the scene.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, RR, for your superb review and close reading of my ekphrastic. I agree with your reason for making CLOUDS singular and will do so.
Comment from Sugarray77
Mystery Writer... Great job on the creation of this short, short verse. Your verse is relatable and easy to understand. A perfect poem for this prompt. Good luck in the contest!
Melissa
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Mystery Writer... Great job on the creation of this short, short verse. Your verse is relatable and easy to understand. A perfect poem for this prompt. Good luck in the contest!
Melissa
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thank you so much, Melissa, for your high praise of my ekphrastic.
Comment from royowen
They are quite obviously heading South for the winter, where I reside actually, and enjoying summer. This is a most lovely monostich and entry in this contest, well done. Blessings and merry Christmas, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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They are quite obviously heading South for the winter, where I reside actually, and enjoying summer. This is a most lovely monostich and entry in this contest, well done. Blessings and merry Christmas, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2021
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Thank you, Roy, for sharing and praising my poem.
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Most welcome