Murder at the Melodrama
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Murder at the Melodrama, A1,S3b"Comedy-mystery set at rehearsals for melodrama.
11 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've created another interesting scene part, judi. We're getting to know the characters better through these interviews. Now a possible motive has been added. Well done.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
You've created another interesting scene part, judi. We're getting to know the characters better through these interviews. Now a possible motive has been added. Well done.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2021
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2021
-
Hi, Judy, and thanks for the great review and comments. I hope to work on the next part this weekend. It's taking time! judi
Comment from barbara.wilkey
The missing papers are a clue. I am wondering about them. Once again you have presented us with a good skit and I am enjoying reading. You'd mentioned you hadn't written a murder mystery before, but you're nailing it.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
The missing papers are a clue. I am wondering about them. Once again you have presented us with a good skit and I am enjoying reading. You'd mentioned you hadn't written a murder mystery before, but you're nailing it.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. I have so many suspects to deal with. It'll be slow going, but I'll keep plugging away. Thanks for the encouraging words. judi
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hello Judy.
One of the things that struck me is it seems that Lou was so interested in Lisa, he forgot where he left his notebook. I believe the aspect of the mystery he's most interested in is whether Marty and Lisa have something going on.
I'm going to make an assumption that the unsolved murder from the past is somehow related to the latest crime. I'm not sure why but it did come up.
Robert
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
Hello Judy.
One of the things that struck me is it seems that Lou was so interested in Lisa, he forgot where he left his notebook. I believe the aspect of the mystery he's most interested in is whether Marty and Lisa have something going on.
I'm going to make an assumption that the unsolved murder from the past is somehow related to the latest crime. I'm not sure why but it did come up.
Robert
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. With these small town sheriff's departments, you can't be sure what's going on. I've watched several PI mysteries on DVD, and them always portray the small towns as being corrupt and with a bumbling police department. judi
-
Lou has a lot of different interests. Lisa is the main one I think.
Robert
-
He may have to get past Marty. I think he's interested, too. judi
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
The plot thickens! Lots of new threads lead to more intrigue! Next ASAP!
Lisa: It was an even [BIGGER] shock to my aunt.
Lou: Wes Danton got into a shoot-out with the sheriff's men when they tried to take him, and the other guy got [outt=>OUT] through the back door and escaped into the woods behind Alma's trailer.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
The plot thickens! Lots of new threads lead to more intrigue! Next ASAP!
Lisa: It was an even [BIGGER] shock to my aunt.
Lou: Wes Danton got into a shoot-out with the sheriff's men when they tried to take him, and the other guy got [outt=>OUT] through the back door and escaped into the woods behind Alma's trailer.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. I'm afraid it's slow going. I'm always off on detours writing about other things. judi
Comment from lyenochka
I hope Marty and Lisa are in the clear but I think Lisa is omitting some information. Isn't it unprofessional of Lou to ask about Lisa's relationship with Marty? But he does notice pretty women like you pointed out about his character.
Comment:
It was an even shock to my aunt. (what is an "even shock" ? Did you mean "It was even a shock" ?)
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
I hope Marty and Lisa are in the clear but I think Lisa is omitting some information. Isn't it unprofessional of Lou to ask about Lisa's relationship with Marty? But he does notice pretty women like you pointed out about his character.
Comment:
It was an even shock to my aunt. (what is an "even shock" ? Did you mean "It was even a shock" ?)
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. The sheriff and his deputy are probably not model law enforcement officers. It's a small town. I'll correct that. I probably tried to change it and made the wording worse. judi
-
Happens to me quite often! There should be a word for that - a new error introduced by editing!
-
Maybe you'll come across such a word. I know that when I try to correct something, I usually make another error. judi
Comment from aryr
A great continuation of the script, judiverse. I really enjoyed the suspense that you built through your words. Mmm a ransacked room/cottage. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
A great continuation of the script, judiverse. I really enjoyed the suspense that you built through your words. Mmm a ransacked room/cottage. Very well done and greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. I appreciate your encouraging words. judi
-
most welcome
-
I'm glad you stopped by. Have a wonderful weekend. judi
Comment from Jay Squires
I'm really liking your whodunnit, Judi
Lou: (He gives Lisa a big smile.) Howdy do. Just have a seat. I have a few questions, but it won't take long. [Was this placed at the wrong position before the character description?]
and the other guy got outt through the back [got outttttt]
Lisa: What's inhumane! I'm glad I don't have one until ten. [Is that supposed to be "That's inhumane!"?]
It seems strange that Clay and Lou would talk about new facts surrounding the murder in front of Marty.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
I'm really liking your whodunnit, Judi
Lou: (He gives Lisa a big smile.) Howdy do. Just have a seat. I have a few questions, but it won't take long. [Was this placed at the wrong position before the character description?]
and the other guy got outt through the back [got outttttt]
Lisa: What's inhumane! I'm glad I don't have one until ten. [Is that supposed to be "That's inhumane!"?]
It seems strange that Clay and Lou would talk about new facts surrounding the murder in front of Marty.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. I'm glad you're enjoying. The line you mentioned was from the previous scene, but I can see that might be confusing. judi
Comment from royowen
Ahh, another variable hits the plot, and it could mean something, or it may indeed be just another ruse to throw the mystery solver off the scent...but then again. It's similar in some ways to Agatha Christy mysteries, good company here Judy, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
Ahh, another variable hits the plot, and it could mean something, or it may indeed be just another ruse to throw the mystery solver off the scent...but then again. It's similar in some ways to Agatha Christy mysteries, good company here Judy, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and encouraging words, Roy. I've never written a mystery script before, so it's slow going. judi
-
You?re doing well
-
Thanks for your encouraging words. judi
-
Welcome Judy
Comment from Ben Colder
Now, this is the way the script is to be written. Suspect what is in the missing papers will open an avenue to finding the killer of a past murder. Oops . Good one, writer.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
Now, this is the way the script is to be written. Suspect what is in the missing papers will open an avenue to finding the killer of a past murder. Oops . Good one, writer.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and comments. Gotta have those twists and turns. judi
Comment from BethShelby
So the plot thickens as the papers get taken from the apartment Patterson was renting. Lou sound like he is interested in LIsa. Marty sounds like the was too busy to hakve anything to add.
other guy got outt through the back.... out
Lisa: What's inhumane! That;s inhumane!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
So the plot thickens as the papers get taken from the apartment Patterson was renting. Lou sound like he is interested in LIsa. Marty sounds like the was too busy to hakve anything to add.
other guy got outt through the back.... out
Lisa: What's inhumane! That;s inhumane!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2021
-
Thanks so much for your review and your comments. There are a lot of developments to come. Thanks for noting that errant word. I've made the correction. judi