One Sunny Night
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "One Sunny Night-Ending Chapter"Romance of visitor to Alaska
13 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
I loved the ending to this love story. You really are a wonderful storyteller MissA!. I think you have a real knack for writing believable conversations and so often it feels like I actually hear the character's voice as if watching a movie. You also write wonderful descriptions. There is so much I like about this whole story... not just this final chapter, I want to give it six stars. Here are my only suggestions:
***moved among guests with a radiated (radiant) grin.
*** You turned right on me. (You turned right to me,) (Because turning ON someone seems to imply anger or hostility.)
I hope there will be more stories soon. I enjoy your writing very much. MissM
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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I loved the ending to this love story. You really are a wonderful storyteller MissA!. I think you have a real knack for writing believable conversations and so often it feels like I actually hear the character's voice as if watching a movie. You also write wonderful descriptions. There is so much I like about this whole story... not just this final chapter, I want to give it six stars. Here are my only suggestions:
***moved among guests with a radiated (radiant) grin.
*** You turned right on me. (You turned right to me,) (Because turning ON someone seems to imply anger or hostility.)
I hope there will be more stories soon. I enjoy your writing very much. MissM
Comment Written 27-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2021
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You are such a sweetheart to take so much time to read these last chapters. Luckily someone else caught and I changed the "radiated" error, but I must agree to all your suggestions! Many thanks!!!
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Alaskastory:
I wonder how many relationships have been ruined and/or never begun because someone got the wrong impression/information and decided it was not worth the effort? I really enjoyed your novelette and look forward to reading more of your work soon.
Jan
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Alaskastory:
I wonder how many relationships have been ruined and/or never begun because someone got the wrong impression/information and decided it was not worth the effort? I really enjoyed your novelette and look forward to reading more of your work soon.
Jan
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Thanks so much for following this story. I appreciate every comment you have made, Jan.
Comment from amahra
This story reminds me of the old Hollywood boy meets girl and or Fred Astaire and Ginger Roger's mistaken identity. I loved the story and like most readers love a happy ending. Great job.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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This story reminds me of the old Hollywood boy meets girl and or Fred Astaire and Ginger Roger's mistaken identity. I loved the story and like most readers love a happy ending. Great job.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
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Your Hollywood comparison amuses me so much. Many thanks for bothering to read this and taking time to let me know.
Comment from Judy Lawless
What a beautiful ending! I fell behind in this story, but you've managed to sum much of it up in this chapter, so it made sense to me. You've painted a picture of a wedding that meant much to more than just the bride and groom. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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What a beautiful ending! I fell behind in this story, but you've managed to sum much of it up in this chapter, so it made sense to me. You've painted a picture of a wedding that meant much to more than just the bride and groom. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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I glad you have read the ending of this. Thanks so much for your comments.
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
This is obviously a lovely and very satisfying conclusion to a story, even though I haven't had the pleasure of reading the rest of it. Apparently an important issue was resolved here for Danielle, who thought that the young man Stewart was not available, because he was the bride's fiance, when in fact a man named Joe was the groom.
I made the following suggestions for improvement, for your consideration:
About half a hundred guests were seated.
-->
About fifty guests were seated.
Mary left her at a back-row seat then turned and rushed away,
-->
Mary left her at a back-row seat, then turned and rushed away,
but her attention caught on an amazingly handsome man.
-->
but her eye caught an amazingly handsome man.
He moved among guests with a radiated grin.
-->
He moved among guests with a radiant grin.
Danielle snapped pictures then eased away from the crowd.
-->
Danielle snapped pictures, then eased away from the crowd.
***
Your story has a very happy ending, and I love happy endings!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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This is obviously a lovely and very satisfying conclusion to a story, even though I haven't had the pleasure of reading the rest of it. Apparently an important issue was resolved here for Danielle, who thought that the young man Stewart was not available, because he was the bride's fiance, when in fact a man named Joe was the groom.
I made the following suggestions for improvement, for your consideration:
About half a hundred guests were seated.
-->
About fifty guests were seated.
Mary left her at a back-row seat then turned and rushed away,
-->
Mary left her at a back-row seat, then turned and rushed away,
but her attention caught on an amazingly handsome man.
-->
but her eye caught an amazingly handsome man.
He moved among guests with a radiated grin.
-->
He moved among guests with a radiant grin.
Danielle snapped pictures then eased away from the crowd.
-->
Danielle snapped pictures, then eased away from the crowd.
***
Your story has a very happy ending, and I love happy endings!
Comment Written 10-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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So glad you took time to read and evaluate this chapter. I must agree corrections are needed. Thanks so much for pinpointing them.
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You're very welcome. I'm happy to help. May God bless you, my friend.
Love, Mary Kay xoxo
Comment from royowen
And I'm assuming that Danielle was the girl fo him, and that they will be an item, even though her own opinions and thoughts were her doubt and enemy. I loved the way this panned out, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, I'm a bit of a romantic anyway. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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And I'm assuming that Danielle was the girl fo him, and that they will be an item, even though her own opinions and thoughts were her doubt and enemy. I loved the way this panned out, I'm a sucker for a happy ending, I'm a bit of a romantic anyway. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2021
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Thank you, Roy! I so happy you found time to read this chapter and ones in the past.
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Bless you
Comment from estory
You have this iconic romantic ending to a story here, with that passionate kiss fading out at the end. I thought the dialogue was pretty realistic and we get some of the emotional tension between the characters through it. I walked in at the end of this, so I don't think I can really make too many comments about it, but it looks like you some well dilineated characters here and good tension between them. estory
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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You have this iconic romantic ending to a story here, with that passionate kiss fading out at the end. I thought the dialogue was pretty realistic and we get some of the emotional tension between the characters through it. I walked in at the end of this, so I don't think I can really make too many comments about it, but it looks like you some well dilineated characters here and good tension between them. estory
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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How wonderful your comments are. Thanks for reading this.
Comment from Begin Again
I am an absolute sucker for romantic endings, and you have written a magnificent one. You built the tension at the beginning of the chapter and then slowly went to a crescendo at the end... happy endings are awesome. Good job! Smiles and hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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I am an absolute sucker for romantic endings, and you have written a magnificent one. You built the tension at the beginning of the chapter and then slowly went to a crescendo at the end... happy endings are awesome. Good job! Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Many, many smiles and hugs are for you and your comments, Carol. I appreciate you reading this and other chapters.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am glad Danielle got the answer about Stewart that she wanted. That turned out really good. I see. LOL I enjoyed reading.
All voice dwelled on the artwork and stitching skill shown on the baby's mukluks. (voices??)
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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I am glad Danielle got the answer about Stewart that she wanted. That turned out really good. I see. LOL I enjoyed reading.
All voice dwelled on the artwork and stitching skill shown on the baby's mukluks. (voices??)
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Many thanks for catching this typo and for your comments.
Comment from ShirleyT1
You've written a balanced and well-flowing story that ends the story. And you ended it well. I really like your characters, and the descriptive words that allows the reader to catch a glance at their personalities. Great job!
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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You've written a balanced and well-flowing story that ends the story. And you ended it well. I really like your characters, and the descriptive words that allows the reader to catch a glance at their personalities. Great job!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2021
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2021
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Your comments mean a lot to me. Thank for taking time to read this.