Where Are All The Children
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Promising Leads"A vigilante takes down trafficing rings.
15 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Warren
This guy needs to be caught, and fast. Now that he knows they're onto him, he's going to be really dangerous. I'm betting his house really will be up for sale very soon.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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This guy needs to be caught, and fast. Now that he knows they're onto him, he's going to be really dangerous. I'm betting his house really will be up for sale very soon.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for your continued support. You're right, they need to make this happen quickly before they get away be another criminal in the wind.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
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I just realized you read it after it stopped paying. I'm honored.
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Good, getting a tap on the phone to listen to what's going on. I understand they can do that anyway. That's why when you talk about a product, you end up seeing ads for it on your FB page. Does not make on feel to secure. Anyway, great as always. Looking forward to the next.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Good, getting a tap on the phone to listen to what's going on. I understand they can do that anyway. That's why when you talk about a product, you end up seeing ads for it on your FB page. Does not make on feel to secure. Anyway, great as always. Looking forward to the next.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. They're supposed to get a warrant, supposed to... It's specific keywords you use that triggers other ads. Advertisers spend tons of time and money trying to figure out what works best. That doesn't make it any less annoying, scarry.
Thank you again for all your help, support encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Mabaker12
This is obviously a chapter in a longer piece Misty, I will read more of your writing. I got your name through Liz O'Neal who is a great friend of mine, and she follows your writing. We have been sharing stories for years also phonecalls, across the waves. I live in Australia. If you are curious I am Mugs the human-speaking cat series creator. Sincerely Anne (Mabaker12)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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This is obviously a chapter in a longer piece Misty, I will read more of your writing. I got your name through Liz O'Neal who is a great friend of mine, and she follows your writing. We have been sharing stories for years also phonecalls, across the waves. I live in Australia. If you are curious I am Mugs the human-speaking cat series creator. Sincerely Anne (Mabaker12)
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter, I'm honored. You did come in close to the end. I wanted to raise awareness about human trafficking. I heard Australia is a lovely country. A human-speaking cat? Oh, I've got to read that. I love animals. Have four dogs, several cats.
Thank you again for reading my chapter. It's always greatly apprecated, take care.
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your writing is next. I was spending my energy on another fb page for Dowsing for Beginners. So I have at least 12 I'm neglecting. I have a preference. Mabaker with her cat Mugs is first, you are next...Here I am.
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I like your play on the word 'traffic'. I like stuff like that. In my story there are the 2 meanings too. Cool. "You'd think the neighbors
would get suspicious, seeing young girls coming in and out all the time." Neighbors just peek out the windows sigh & tsk and judge the girls. It makes me think of the Kitty Genovese rape & murder in 1964. No one did anything, except turn their tv or radio louder. I guess it is called the 'by-stander effect'. You can use any of this if this fits in anywhere.
I saw an interview of her partner a couple of years ago. It was so sad. They caught the guy as a burglar, who confessed to the murder. He died after 52 years in prison.
I like how you use the stream of consciousness for Toni. The thing that is clever is the reader is probably having the same thoughts. You are doing a good job of keeping the reader captured.
You worked this in perfectly: "from the neighboring Indian villages" You are a clever writer. There's so much more to comment on but this is enough. The last line is so natural. This is A+ work.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Your writing is next. I was spending my energy on another fb page for Dowsing for Beginners. So I have at least 12 I'm neglecting. I have a preference. Mabaker with her cat Mugs is first, you are next...Here I am.
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I like your play on the word 'traffic'. I like stuff like that. In my story there are the 2 meanings too. Cool. "You'd think the neighbors
would get suspicious, seeing young girls coming in and out all the time." Neighbors just peek out the windows sigh & tsk and judge the girls. It makes me think of the Kitty Genovese rape & murder in 1964. No one did anything, except turn their tv or radio louder. I guess it is called the 'by-stander effect'. You can use any of this if this fits in anywhere.
I saw an interview of her partner a couple of years ago. It was so sad. They caught the guy as a burglar, who confessed to the murder. He died after 52 years in prison.
I like how you use the stream of consciousness for Toni. The thing that is clever is the reader is probably having the same thoughts. You are doing a good job of keeping the reader captured.
You worked this in perfectly: "from the neighboring Indian villages" You are a clever writer. There's so much more to comment on but this is enough. The last line is so natural. This is A+ work.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review and such wonderful remarks. You're neglecting 12 for me and put me second to the best, wow what an honor. To refer me to your friend is very kind.
That's so sad that so many saw yet no one did a thing. I'm glad the man was caught, but still, someone should've come forward. I'm surprised the police didn't charge them with accessory after the fact or withholding evidence. Maybe the cops threatened to and that's how they got them to talk.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement, and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
PS. I'm so loving the equalizer. Queen Latifah's character is an awesome badass vigilante like the characters in my stories.
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After I get 4 episodes saved, I'll binge watch & enjoy. I must almost be at 4. I'll let you know. I'm glad Mabaker checked you out. She said you are a fine writer. She's from
Australia so she had a different take on some things & expressions. I enjoy that.
And what a great imagination with her cat Mugs. https://www.fanstory.com/images/btnSv.gif
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The fourth should be this Sunday. Did you know that the producer died of heart failure while working on the film? So the first episode is dedicated to him.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Mistydawn, you are making it so interesting of how this chapter of how Lori and the detectives are on a lead are very well described. And smiles to keeping us readers wanting to read what will take place next.
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Mistydawn, you are making it so interesting of how this chapter of how Lori and the detectives are on a lead are very well described. And smiles to keeping us readers wanting to read what will take place next.
Gert
Comment Written 22-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a marvelous review, and for such encouraging words. I"m so glad you continue to enjoy my story, look forward to what happens next.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from nor84
Just so you know, the purpose of this review is to be helpful. I will point out any SPAG errors I see and rate according to site guidelines. SPAG means Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar. I may also comment on formatting issues. I will not give a five or six-star review unless I believe the work warrants it.
Having more than one POV (point of view character) in a chapter is confusing and generally isn't done. In this chapter, we're shown what several characters are thinking, which shifts the POV from one character to another. There should be one POV but it can change in the next scene or the next chapter provided there is a clear transition.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Just so you know, the purpose of this review is to be helpful. I will point out any SPAG errors I see and rate according to site guidelines. SPAG means Spelling, Punctuation And Grammar. I may also comment on formatting issues. I will not give a five or six-star review unless I believe the work warrants it.
Having more than one POV (point of view character) in a chapter is confusing and generally isn't done. In this chapter, we're shown what several characters are thinking, which shifts the POV from one character to another. There should be one POV but it can change in the next scene or the next chapter provided there is a clear transition.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you for reading my chapter. Your review leaves me wondering why you thought it was written in several pov when the only thoughts I show is the sergeants, Toni. The *** indicates a transition. Maybe that isn't clear and that's what caused the confusion? Please clarify your review so I know what to do to make it better.
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm not one-hundred percent sure exactly what is going on with the house, but no doubt I'll figure it all out in a bit. Such a growing enterprise changes ideas quickly. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I'm not one-hundred percent sure exactly what is going on with the house, but no doubt I'll figure it all out in a bit. Such a growing enterprise changes ideas quickly. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a marvelous review. Toni has figured out where they keep the girls, how they pull it off, telling the neighbors its a house for wayward kids. Hopefully, she can get a warrant before doc moves them.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship, It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Ben Colder
I have missed a good mystery it seems. I can see this person sitting in the car taking pictures and gets the tap on the window. Wow, scary move. A female name Tom?
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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I have missed a good mystery it seems. I can see this person sitting in the car taking pictures and gets the tap on the window. Wow, scary move. A female name Tom?
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for reading my chapter and for such an encouraging review. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Tom, no the sergeant's name is Toni. Did I make a spelling error somewhere?
Thank you again for reading my chapter your support is always greatly appreciated, take care
Comment from forestport12
Superb dialogue. The dialogue was realistic and drew me with the back and forth, advancing the plot with it. Nice balance and blend of words, power verbs to be exact. This style is what the best writers do, short, crisp with descriptions.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Superb dialogue. The dialogue was realistic and drew me with the back and forth, advancing the plot with it. Nice balance and blend of words, power verbs to be exact. This style is what the best writers do, short, crisp with descriptions.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a fantastic review, and all your encouraging praise. I'm so glad you enjoyed it. That you're continuing to follow along.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.
Comment from Sugarray77
An excellent addition to the story, Misty. I enjoyed reading this excerpt with its strategy, cyber expertise, and good dialogue. Well done and keep up the superb writing.
Melissa
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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An excellent addition to the story, Misty. I enjoyed reading this excerpt with its strategy, cyber expertise, and good dialogue. Well done and keep up the superb writing.
Melissa
Comment Written 21-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you so much for such a kind review. I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter, the little backstory, how Jarad's career came to be. He was lucky that the cop saw his potential helped him turn his life around.
Thank you again for all your help, support, encouragement and friendship. It always means the world to me, take care.