Psych Out News
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Accidental Death Turned Sexual"Fake News Stories
5 total reviews
Comment from Jimmy Hogg
"was considered a suspect by the police" suggested edit- "was a police suspect"
This is good, you've got lots going on, I think it needs some clarity though. This could be achieved by less names of people places, and titles I think. Again, hard to judge since it's an excerpt.
Great title btw, which is why I read it.
Good luck.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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"was considered a suspect by the police" suggested edit- "was a police suspect"
This is good, you've got lots going on, I think it needs some clarity though. This could be achieved by less names of people places, and titles I think. Again, hard to judge since it's an excerpt.
Great title btw, which is why I read it.
Good luck.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Thank you.
Comment from Mistydawn
What a story of sexual fantasies that went wrong. I'm sure the story took everyone by surprise. Your story is well-written, interesting from start to finish. I'm not sure where you come up with this news, but it lets us see a different side to human nature.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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What a story of sexual fantasies that went wrong. I'm sure the story took everyone by surprise. Your story is well-written, interesting from start to finish. I'm not sure where you come up with this news, but it lets us see a different side to human nature.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Sometimes it's from when I walk in to the middle or end of a conversation and miss hear what they are saying.
Comment from padumachitta
Hello
well i liked this, it was more like reading a newspaper than a story. It was clear and dry and as a result had some great images.
Okay, but I love Criminals Minds, and Bones...
SpAg Alert:
there docks...their
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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Hello
well i liked this, it was more like reading a newspaper than a story. It was clear and dry and as a result had some great images.
Okay, but I love Criminals Minds, and Bones...
SpAg Alert:
there docks...their
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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It is supposed to read as a news story. I think it needs to loosen up a bit though.
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Hi
If it was supposed to read as a news story... it worked!
I actually didn?t take in the title...so I figure it?s all good.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
A very well written detective story. It sounds like a complex case but the author is good in describing all events well. So, it isn't difficult follow through.
It is hard to believe such things can happen in real life.
Good writing. thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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A very well written detective story. It sounds like a complex case but the author is good in describing all events well. So, it isn't difficult follow through.
It is hard to believe such things can happen in real life.
Good writing. thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2021
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More horrible things happen in life.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Ha, ha, ha, what a funny story, poor women being killed under unknown circumstances, and everybody around has funny concerns about it: "
Vaughn's ex-husband Sterling Vaughn III, 57, Senior Accountant at Golden, Alpine, and Andrew said his ex-wife lived to "create scandal" and "now with her death she had done the same."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Ha, ha, ha, what a funny story, poor women being killed under unknown circumstances, and everybody around has funny concerns about it: "
Vaughn's ex-husband Sterling Vaughn III, 57, Senior Accountant at Golden, Alpine, and Andrew said his ex-wife lived to "create scandal" and "now with her death she had done the same."
Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2021
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2021
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Thank you for the review.
