Reviews from

All Those Puzzling Pieces

Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Sugared Stars"
What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?

105 total reviews 
Comment from Gert sherwood
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Smiles to you visionary1234
What a nice title ((Sugared Stars) and the idea of a chocolate ice cream cone even makes your love poem more delicious.

Gert

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    thx so much Gert - nice to see you! :)S
Comment from Jendowoz
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Nice love poem, Sharyn. Reads well and the mix of words you've used are marvellous. Love the picture and the way it reads aloud.Well done.

Regards, Jen

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    thx so much Jen! :)S
Comment from Child of the King
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Beautiful love poem. It is very well written and the scene was set for me immediately. "to the shadowed sands of evening, seeking rest,
nested heads tucked warm beneath their wings"
An enchanted poem that enchanted me. Best wishes in the contest. Peace


 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    Bless you my dear! :)S
Comment from DALLAS01
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I think the real sensuality of this poem hinges on the fact that it is occurring at sunset, out in the open, and not in bed. The action with the dripping of the ice cream cone is quite visual and creates the mood. The tension between them, that is created by the fact that each is sharing the same thought, spills over and is scooped up (excuse the pun) by the reader.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    Bless you for your great reading on this one Dallas! :)Sharyn
reply by DALLAS01 on 27-Mar-2013
    :.)
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
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WOW! This is so beautifully written and sweet! What a lovely picture you have painted for the reader. I could feel the ocean breezes, hear the sea gulls and peek at the young couple stealing 'sweet- double dipped chocolate kisses'. Just loved it! Thanks, Sharyn, for sharing this. Betty

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    thank you so much Betty! Can you tell I'm feeling chocolate deprived? :)Sharyn
Comment from J. Dark
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Sharyn, this is beautifully charming and truly captures the essence of what love is all about. You have managed to take those little moments that love enhance and fold them into a rhythmic flowing piece with an interesting and appealing format that works stunningly. You are always refreshingly varied and there is something so incredibly sweet about "chocolate double-dappled kisses". Delightful and I wish you golden luck in the contest. I am sorry I am out of sixes, as this has exceptional written all over it!

Kindest of regards,

Julie :-)

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    bless you Julie! :)S
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a delicious poem you have cranked out here. The hints of rime that delight the ear, the descriptive journey of the ice cream drips and the byplay of the lovers all served up with a tasty sprinkling of assonance and alliteration. The perfect treat, embellished with a sultry summer sunset. It made me sigh -Wendy

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    Bless you for your lovely six on this one Wendy! I've been so busy lately that, like you, haven't had much time to write! Grrr! :)S
Comment from Jumbo J
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Hi Sharyn,
for me this was so cleaver in construction and had me mimicking movements of your imagery, but not only that, you managed to get a double serving of love. Love of your partner and the love of the chocolate ice cream, drippy, sticky. This poem was so inviting, I just wanted to be there. Well penned Sharyn, and a very good luck for this contest, it's like you bought two ticket for the one price!
Kindest wishes,
James xx
I was really hoping you had a six this really deserves it, I loved it MMmmmmmmmmmmmmm ******stars!!!!!!

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    thx so much James! :)Sharyn
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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thisis very well written, visionary, you did an excellent job wiritng this free verse poem about the sugary kisses in the summer heat, i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    bless you sweets! :)S
Comment from wordsareus
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Summer is indeed a time for lovers! What a delightful poem. It is well-written and a wonderful read. It gives the reader a sense of nostalgia.

 Comment Written 27-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 27-Mar-2013
    thanks so much my dear! :)S