Fire Inside
A short poem162 total reviews
Comment from WilliamDeen
Your "5-7-5" Poem, Fire Inside, is wonderful. You have perfect syllable form of 5-7-5. You have a good rhyming scheme and a smooth and easy cadence too!
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Your "5-7-5" Poem, Fire Inside, is wonderful. You have perfect syllable form of 5-7-5. You have a good rhyming scheme and a smooth and easy cadence too!
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from A.R. Curry
What I get from this is how we sometimes wear our emotions on the outside and everyone can see or sense our distress. I think this is excellent and so true. Well done
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What I get from this is how we sometimes wear our emotions on the outside and everyone can see or sense our distress. I think this is excellent and so true. Well done
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Starlit Ink
Well, to be your first one it was very well thought out and expressed with emotion. It has perfect syllable form and is a good solid entry, so I wish you the best of luck with this.
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Well, to be your first one it was very well thought out and expressed with emotion. It has perfect syllable form and is a good solid entry, so I wish you the best of luck with this.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from volcomfury
Good image and form in this 5-7-5. I enjoyed the colors and the theme. Your words are well though out and powerful. Thanks for sharing.
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Good image and form in this 5-7-5. I enjoyed the colors and the theme. Your words are well though out and powerful. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from TammyGail
Hey there Vincent
you are indeed correct
not always so easy to craft
when counting those devilish syllables ....lol
i hate counting them i feel suffocated
great read best of work in the contest
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Hey there Vincent
you are indeed correct
not always so easy to craft
when counting those devilish syllables ....lol
i hate counting them i feel suffocated
great read best of work in the contest
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from RaymondJohn
I really like your graphic, and the words match it well. Good movement in the words, your poem tells a story, and you have a very fine unexpected ending. You should have a good chance in the the competition. Ray.
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I really like your graphic, and the words match it well. Good movement in the words, your poem tells a story, and you have a very fine unexpected ending. You should have a good chance in the the competition. Ray.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Sally Carter
Sounds good to me, Vincent. I have not tried many of these and when I did, like you, I found them harder than I expected.
I think your little poem manages to incorporate several images in few words.
The first line suggests a back story about the writer, the second gives an insight into the character of "you", and the last line suggests that "you" is pretty hot in every respect!
Nicely done, and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Keep at it.
Best wishes
Sally
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Sounds good to me, Vincent. I have not tried many of these and when I did, like you, I found them harder than I expected.
I think your little poem manages to incorporate several images in few words.
The first line suggests a back story about the writer, the second gives an insight into the character of "you", and the last line suggests that "you" is pretty hot in every respect!
Nicely done, and I wish you good luck in the contest.
Keep at it.
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Capricorn30
This first 5-7-5 for you is wonderful! Vibrant words so much express a loving relationship;the rhyming is well-written;all in all a very good poem--thank you for sharing
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This first 5-7-5 for you is wonderful! Vibrant words so much express a loving relationship;the rhyming is well-written;all in all a very good poem--thank you for sharing
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from donaldww
This poem has great content. Unfortunately, it is not a 5-7-5. As written, it is a 5-7-6.
This can be rectified by removing You're on the last line; it might even strengthen the message:
you light a lost spark
you pour embers from your heart. . .
fire in the dark
Please let me know when you fix and I'll up your rating to 5 stars.
DW
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This poem has great content. Unfortunately, it is not a 5-7-5. As written, it is a 5-7-6.
This can be rectified by removing You're on the last line; it might even strengthen the message:
you light a lost spark
you pour embers from your heart. . .
fire in the dark
Please let me know when you fix and I'll up your rating to 5 stars.
DW
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello to you Vincent Phelps~
Your first 5-7-5 poem
It got my attention right away when you said in your first line--
You light a lost spark
Gert
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Hello to you Vincent Phelps~
Your first 5-7-5 poem
It got my attention right away when you said in your first line--
You light a lost spark
Gert
Comment Written 11-Jun-2012
