CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 147 "Nuclear Family and the Divorce"A collection of poetry
93 total reviews
Comment from LadyMary
This presents an excellent metaphor of devastating crisis both of nuclear and personal nature. Description is strong and allows good imagery. Conclusion on an upnote in reference the fragility of future is well done. LadyMary
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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This presents an excellent metaphor of devastating crisis both of nuclear and personal nature. Description is strong and allows good imagery. Conclusion on an upnote in reference the fragility of future is well done. LadyMary
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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LadyMary, I really appreciate your taking the time to read and review my poem. Thank you very much for your generous comments. With regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
It's name should be its it's means it is
I love the metaphor, describing the aftershock of divorce on children as the effects of a nuclear test blast - how very appropriate
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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It's name should be its it's means it is
I love the metaphor, describing the aftershock of divorce on children as the effects of a nuclear test blast - how very appropriate
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Brooke, thanks so much for bringing out that MAJOR typo! Changing it immediately. Again, thanks for a great review and your comments! Kindest regards, Sue
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you have no idea how many times in one day I tell people about it's - most of them are not so grateful! LOL
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Brooke, I am a STICKLER WITH SPELLING!!!!! And I am usually the one telling people the difference between its and it's! HA!! Now I've been caught. Thanks again!
Sue
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someone got me on while and wile about a week ago - the blush of embarrassment is just now starting to wear off!
Comment from fayesh
Once a person reads the Author's notes the connection becomes clear, but without the notes the poem doesn't link with divorce in any way or image. I would add in the first line the word "family" to shock, carnage, etc. to at least give it a meaningful start.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Once a person reads the Author's notes the connection becomes clear, but without the notes the poem doesn't link with divorce in any way or image. I would add in the first line the word "family" to shock, carnage, etc. to at least give it a meaningful start.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Fayesh, I really appreciate your generous review and comments. I very much enjoy "expressionist" and "abstract" art and my poetry is the same. I don't feel the need to be too instructive. Respectfully, Sue
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Now that I have thought about it, you have once again made a valid point. My apologies for not fully understanding what you meant at first. I worried so much about being "too instructive" that I now have the issue where I do NEED to be instructive for reader to understand it is about "divorce". GOTCHA!!! Thanks again. Going to have to revisit it and see what can be done. Very much appreciated! Sue
Comment from allborn66
It is a powerful poem. I like the analogy, very fitting comparison. It has a wonderful flow to it, and I like your form.
Barbara
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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It is a powerful poem. I like the analogy, very fitting comparison. It has a wonderful flow to it, and I like your form.
Barbara
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Barbara, thank you very much for your most generous review and your very specific comments. Means a lot! Sincerely, Sue
Comment from Nicnac
This is a very innovative poem.
I was captivated by the first two words. Initially I thought the poem was about the World Trade Center towers.
This poem can be interpreted many ways. Wonderful job!
I like the comparison of a family going through divorce and a nuclear blast. This is very unique and intriguing.
The flow is seamless, and the imagery is fabulous.
Excellent read. Great last line. No revisions.
~Nic
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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This is a very innovative poem.
I was captivated by the first two words. Initially I thought the poem was about the World Trade Center towers.
This poem can be interpreted many ways. Wonderful job!
I like the comparison of a family going through divorce and a nuclear blast. This is very unique and intriguing.
The flow is seamless, and the imagery is fabulous.
Excellent read. Great last line. No revisions.
~Nic
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Nicnac, thank you so much for your very generous review. And I so appreciate your very specific comments. So glad you enjoyed it! Warmest regards, Sue
Comment from okiboy
Aha! With the help of the notes, I get it. This is a very powerful peice to describe divorce. Yes, divorce is very painful, sad, and could be very destructive. Well, it is never ever clean. Thank you for the powerful peice.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Aha! With the help of the notes, I get it. This is a very powerful peice to describe divorce. Yes, divorce is very painful, sad, and could be very destructive. Well, it is never ever clean. Thank you for the powerful peice.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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okiboy, thank you again for reading my work. And for your most generous review and comments. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from S.Yocom
This is well done, Sue. I have never before read a poem that was based on nuclear testing. It's a clever idea, to relate a divorce to that testing. I like it.
Sally
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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This is well done, Sue. I have never before read a poem that was based on nuclear testing. It's a clever idea, to relate a divorce to that testing. I like it.
Sally
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Sally, I really appreciate your generous review and your great comments! Yeah, I guess you have to live it to write that one..Ha!! Again, much appreciated. With regards, Sue
Comment from Pen&Ink
Hi 6teezkid,
This poem features a very original presentation. You've taken a scientific measurement system and applied it to the emotional upheaval of divorce. Very clever--and very accurate.
Ray
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Hi 6teezkid,
This poem features a very original presentation. You've taken a scientific measurement system and applied it to the emotional upheaval of divorce. Very clever--and very accurate.
Ray
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Hey Pen&Ink, again, thank you for your reading my work! And thank you for this very generous review and your comments! Most appreciated and with regards, Sue
Comment from Curt Mongold
The analogies are exceptional- I never would have thought to compare the two, but your work is an absloute maasterpiece to me of imagination and information.
Simply fantastic.
Sincerely,
Curt
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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The analogies are exceptional- I never would have thought to compare the two, but your work is an absloute maasterpiece to me of imagination and information.
Simply fantastic.
Sincerely,
Curt
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Curt, I am SO happy that you liked the analogies. Thank you for your very generous review and very specific comments! With warmest regards, Sue
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I'm also "verklempted" with your saying it is a masterpiece of imagination....whoa!! Now I'm totally speechless
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It is really "Di Emmeseh Schoireh" as my mother would say! It literally means it's the best you can find.
It really is a work of art.
Sincerely,
Curt
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Stop it! I cannot handle this. The only other yiddish thing I can say is Oy Vay!!!
But maybe that isn't right!?!? Ha!
I almost didn't post this poem because I am so new at this. A lot of times there are reviews about how much I need to write more what my poem is about. I don't particularly like being too instructive, though. Seems too condescending. But, on this one, I did give more information than I have on any of my other pieces.
You've encouraged me so much to keep on writing!! And I so much appreciate that!
Most sincerely,
Sue
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The pleasure was mine Sue.
Curt
Comment from smokyeye
I think the idea is unique, but for it to work it needs fine tunung. Within each stanza you have to indicate what the term means and relate it because these terms are not clear and easily understood so the metaphor has to be explained
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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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I think the idea is unique, but for it to work it needs fine tunung. Within each stanza you have to indicate what the term means and relate it because these terms are not clear and easily understood so the metaphor has to be explained
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2008
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2008
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Smokeye, thank you very much for your review and specific comments. Do you mean to explain the metaphor "within" the stanza? Would very much appreciate your input, if you have time. With regards, Sue
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a word or two on the term such as ground zero and how life situations and emotions can be at ground zero. you need a descriptive word or 2 about the terms to fully carry it out