How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Micro-Critting The Illusion Crashers"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
91 total reviews
Comment from mmichelle97219
So, stand up, square your shoulders and assert to him --assert to me --confidently: "There is no place in a well-intentioned story for non-pertinence in dialogue, for flab, for waste. Every word should be carefully chosen to play its part in moving the storyline forward."
I couldn't have said it better myself. Although early in my writing experience I too fell into this trap. Thanks for another course in the fundamentals. It is important for us as writers and readers to keep on our toes.
Michelle
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
  |
So, stand up, square your shoulders and assert to him --assert to me --confidently: "There is no place in a well-intentioned story for non-pertinence in dialogue, for flab, for waste. Every word should be carefully chosen to play its part in moving the storyline forward."
I couldn't have said it better myself. Although early in my writing experience I too fell into this trap. Thanks for another course in the fundamentals. It is important for us as writers and readers to keep on our toes.
Michelle
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Thank you SO VERY much Michelle for your kind crit. And, yes, we've all fallen into that trap. Important is... "We climbed out." Thanks again.
Jay
Comment from suda
Hello Jay,
Another great "showing" title, a chapter filled with good information, and again you've ended with the promise for more 'good stuff'.
I love this word "mezmersnoodled", especially showing in the context you've presented it.
I appreciate the useful information you're sharing ~ thanks for that.
Good show!
Susan
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
Hello Jay,
Another great "showing" title, a chapter filled with good information, and again you've ended with the promise for more 'good stuff'.
I love this word "mezmersnoodled", especially showing in the context you've presented it.
I appreciate the useful information you're sharing ~ thanks for that.
Good show!
Susan
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Once more, thank you Susan for continuing on with this series. I hope get from beginning to end without disappointment.
Jay
Comment from Marjorie D.
"Nice work, Jay," she said. OR She smiled as her fingers flew over the keyboard, typing, "Nice work, Jay." Either way, you did a very fine job on this! It's good advice and your explain it clearly!
Marjorie
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
"Nice work, Jay," she said. OR She smiled as her fingers flew over the keyboard, typing, "Nice work, Jay." Either way, you did a very fine job on this! It's good advice and your explain it clearly!
Marjorie
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
You are very kind, Marjorie. I'm glad you're getting something out of it. Please, come back for the next installment in a couple of weeks.
Jay
Comment from mslink1
These are the responsibilities the serious critter owes to the writer.(The serious critter owes these responsibilities to the writer.)
between "characters that is" a palpable something (characters that are OR a character that is)
This is a good informative chapter on speech tags. I have read much about them in other places also, and agree they can be an overwhelming distraction. Just a few nits for me, nothing big. Good chapter, Jay. Mary
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
These are the responsibilities the serious critter owes to the writer.(The serious critter owes these responsibilities to the writer.)
between "characters that is" a palpable something (characters that are OR a character that is)
This is a good informative chapter on speech tags. I have read much about them in other places also, and agree they can be an overwhelming distraction. Just a few nits for me, nothing big. Good chapter, Jay. Mary
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Thank you for your incisive commentary, Mary. As usual you ferret out things, no matter how closely I edit and push the send button with the thought, "Now try to find something wrong with this you dirty *@%$$*%'s," -- that were not there before you trained your magnifying glass on them.
between "characters that is" a palpable something (characters that are OR a character that is) ... where did you find that, my dear?
Jay
between "characters that is" a palpable something (characters that are OR a character that is) ... where did you find that, my dear?
characters=plural
is a palpable =singular Thus, one can correctly say ...
characters that are palpable
Geez, Jay, I hate it when you confuse me lollol. If I'm all wrong, forgive me ... Write a chapter on confused critters:)
-
No... it seems like I made a boo-boo, but I can't find it in the text, without reading it line by line -- which would be a bore. I was hoping you could tell me where in the text I can find it. I count on you guys -- I'm not kidding!
Jay
-
Still ... I know without much doubt that he would soon have my head bobbing like one of those bobble-head dolls, and have me believing that there is --there actually is --this distance between "characters that is a palpable " something that the reader must patiently deal with before the forward movement of the plot can, in reality, be got on with.
It's in the fourth paragraph up from the end.
-
Thank you. Now we've both got each other confused. Stripped of everything that isn't necessary for its grammatical meaning, I come up with: "There is this distance (singular subject) that is (verb) a palpable something (object)" OR, "distance is something." I think it is correct, but if you asked me to defend its clarity you'd have me staring at my feet, near tears.
Jay
-
Jay, I'm still desperately trying to figure out what you just said, lol. I do hope I can remember not to correct singular and plural agreement again:) Don't worry, I'll never ask for clarity, my friend, lolol.
-
As long as you learned your lesson. No one has yet been able to out fumble-bug me. And, thank God, no one wants to meet me, again, on a face-to-face fumble-buggery. I tell you, I don't lose. hahahahahahahaaha!
Jay
Comment from Goejsen
Dear Critter, - thanks a lot for sharing these thoughts with us. I think you're very right here. I hate it when my illusion is broken throughout reading a story. When suddenly you loose interest because of too much unnecessary dialogue. When you let the main character express something way beyond what is natural. And yet, I'm so grateful for all you reviewers who point out when I do exactly the same myself. For this is what we maybe-becoming writers do all the time. But it's great to be reminded.
Goejsen, Denmark
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
Dear Critter, - thanks a lot for sharing these thoughts with us. I think you're very right here. I hate it when my illusion is broken throughout reading a story. When suddenly you loose interest because of too much unnecessary dialogue. When you let the main character express something way beyond what is natural. And yet, I'm so grateful for all you reviewers who point out when I do exactly the same myself. For this is what we maybe-becoming writers do all the time. But it's great to be reminded.
Goejsen, Denmark
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Thank you so very much, Goejsen, for your kind words. It means a lot to me that you are getting something out of it. Bless you
Jay
Comment from Jack Lewis
I run out of good things to type; I still feel (hope) I am learning a great deal--I continue to believe myself privileged to get an advance peek at this insightful, engaging commentary.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
 |
I run out of good things to type; I still feel (hope) I am learning a great deal--I continue to believe myself privileged to get an advance peek at this insightful, engaging commentary.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
My God, Jack. Thank you for your thoughtful crit. I've read your stuff. You have no idea how good it feels, not just getting a sixer , but knowing that you feel you're getting something out of it. Bless you...
Jay
Comment from Donaya Haymond
Hooray! Good to see you back on the site, Jade Ear. I missed you. Little Sandi and Puffin are all grown up, married, and solving their first mystery. This was a wonderful, flawless piece, and more helpful than many of the writing books I check out at the library.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
Hooray! Good to see you back on the site, Jade Ear. I missed you. Little Sandi and Puffin are all grown up, married, and solving their first mystery. This was a wonderful, flawless piece, and more helpful than many of the writing books I check out at the library.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Raven, you are sweet. And, I'm typing this through a snicker and snort -- now that the outright laughter is out of me. That "Jade Ear" catches me underware every time. Yes, I lifted the corner of their new life together after the murder of the coffee swilling professor.
Bless you,
Jay
Comment from tecate
I was going to give you a half star but they said I can't do that. It pissed me off to the extent, I hit the six quite by accident...glad to see you back Jay. You are still out front with excellent advice...April is rolling around...Robert McKenna...Tecate
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
I was going to give you a half star but they said I can't do that. It pissed me off to the extent, I hit the six quite by accident...glad to see you back Jay. You are still out front with excellent advice...April is rolling around...Robert McKenna...Tecate
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Your support and your kindness is always appreciated -- as well as are happy accidents. Don't expect me to give the six back. I saw April rolling around, too. Frankly I was amazed she could even stand, seeing all she drank. Best to you, good friend...
Jay
Comment from Martie
It is very good to see you ... I've missed you! And, by the way...yes, to that question at the beginning. I have been so enrapt while both reading and writing. It's a wonderful place to be, but dang, doesn't last.
"of my spirit moving across his landscape" I've not thought of this before, but you're right, and I like the way you said it.
This chapter, as usual, is really helpful and even gives me a nudge to get back into writing Sweet William .. just so I can get a review, from you. :)
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
It is very good to see you ... I've missed you! And, by the way...yes, to that question at the beginning. I have been so enrapt while both reading and writing. It's a wonderful place to be, but dang, doesn't last.
"of my spirit moving across his landscape" I've not thought of this before, but you're right, and I like the way you said it.
This chapter, as usual, is really helpful and even gives me a nudge to get back into writing Sweet William .. just so I can get a review, from you. :)
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Oh, Martie... I was afraid in my diversion into this monster I've grabbed hold of and can't seem to bring to submission, that I've missed Sweet William. Thank you for your continuing support.
Jay
Comment from balance67
Another informative chapter, jaysquires.
I have to admit, as much as I agree with the example you provided for the speech tags (the asked John/said John, asked Betty/said Betty stuff), I myself rely on speech tags throughout all my dialogue. I do this because not all readers are gifted to grasp the simple situation at hand, whether it'd be a discussion between two characters, identifying a crucial moment in the story, or whatever.
Another thing I look at with speech tags...repetition. The reader never forgets who is talking; I've read lots of stories (mostly outside of here) where there's nonstop dialogue with tags (the other section you provided). But, to be fair, there are often more than three characters talking at a time, so that's a fair enough reason (for me, anyway) to go along with the speech tag issue.
Still, I totally understand where you're coming from. It does become a big issue. It's become a part of my forte because it's simple in structure and flow. Plus, those readers who aren't gifted with average intelligence, can follow through when reading my works...then they won't go "Uhh, I don't understand this! Duh! I don't get it...", and we can all go home and have our ice cream.
Ahem, I digress, though. My mistake. The back-to-back dialogue without speech tags (especially street talk) provided some laughs, as well as the absurd quality of the example (which is what you were getting at). Just to let you know...you still have that subtle humor floating in your work.
Two sentences, that I'm sure meant intention, caught my eye:
"Can't you ask me an intelligent question, then?" asked Betty" - Did you mean to have no punctuation, and a double-quotation mark after Betty?
"There are other rooms, Betty. People could be there," said John." - Same here...did you mean to put in the double-quotation mark after John? Just curious.
Overall, I really learned something from reading this chapter. Constant speech tags...I may get out of that someday. For now, it works for the type of stories I write. Anyway, excellent work! I thank you for continuing work on this guide.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
|
Another informative chapter, jaysquires.
I have to admit, as much as I agree with the example you provided for the speech tags (the asked John/said John, asked Betty/said Betty stuff), I myself rely on speech tags throughout all my dialogue. I do this because not all readers are gifted to grasp the simple situation at hand, whether it'd be a discussion between two characters, identifying a crucial moment in the story, or whatever.
Another thing I look at with speech tags...repetition. The reader never forgets who is talking; I've read lots of stories (mostly outside of here) where there's nonstop dialogue with tags (the other section you provided). But, to be fair, there are often more than three characters talking at a time, so that's a fair enough reason (for me, anyway) to go along with the speech tag issue.
Still, I totally understand where you're coming from. It does become a big issue. It's become a part of my forte because it's simple in structure and flow. Plus, those readers who aren't gifted with average intelligence, can follow through when reading my works...then they won't go "Uhh, I don't understand this! Duh! I don't get it...", and we can all go home and have our ice cream.
Ahem, I digress, though. My mistake. The back-to-back dialogue without speech tags (especially street talk) provided some laughs, as well as the absurd quality of the example (which is what you were getting at). Just to let you know...you still have that subtle humor floating in your work.
Two sentences, that I'm sure meant intention, caught my eye:
"Can't you ask me an intelligent question, then?" asked Betty" - Did you mean to have no punctuation, and a double-quotation mark after Betty?
"There are other rooms, Betty. People could be there," said John." - Same here...did you mean to put in the double-quotation mark after John? Just curious.
Overall, I really learned something from reading this chapter. Constant speech tags...I may get out of that someday. For now, it works for the type of stories I write. Anyway, excellent work! I thank you for continuing work on this guide.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2007
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
-
Thank you so much, Balance67, for you most informative crit. And, no, I did not intend the double quotes. Thanks for calling it to my attention. Must go back before I get dinged on it.
Jay