haiku suite--burning warehouse traps
Haiku Club Challenge # 1 fire76 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written haiku suite on fire. Fire can be helpful at times, but it can also very devastating when it is used unwisely and can cause enormous damages to human an nature.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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A very well-written haiku suite on fire. Fire can be helpful at times, but it can also very devastating when it is used unwisely and can cause enormous damages to human an nature.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, Sandra, fire in nothing to mess around with. The fire has made everyone in my community hyper-aware of its perils. Thank you for your review.
Comment from c_lucas
Ghost ships has a ghoulish place in history. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Ghost ships has a ghoulish place in history. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, c_lucas, for your review. I drew my imagery right from the ruins and the memorial I visited. This added not only a grittiness to my haiku suite but also a realness. Thanks again.
Comment from WalkerMan
You are correct -- each haiku stands well enough alone, but together they create a harrowing emotional effect that builds as one reads each part in turn. The memory of this tragedy is thus burned (pun intended) into the mind and heart of the reader without his or her having been there. Superb, including the author's photo of the scene.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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You are correct -- each haiku stands well enough alone, but together they create a harrowing emotional effect that builds as one reads each part in turn. The memory of this tragedy is thus burned (pun intended) into the mind and heart of the reader without his or her having been there. Superb, including the author's photo of the scene.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, WalkerMan, when I visited the ruins I struggled to find the words to describe the horror to a reporter. Now that I wrote my observations down, details such as poinsettias and sputtering candles burn into my memory. Thank you for giving my haiku suite its first six star review. I much appreciate it.
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You are most welcome, my friend. I heard about this on various news broadcasts, but your haiku suite makes it very personal. -- Mike
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Thank you, Mike. I tried. I much rather prefer that this tragedy did not happen. Many of the people who died were artists, so I celebrate their lives through my art--poetry. Thanks again.
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What you did was most appropriate for the circumstances. -- Mike
Comment from lyenochka
Each haiku expresses different aspects of this tragedy well. The first three starts with a nature reference and ends with death. The next one focuses on the destruction and the fifth describes the pain and mourning of the "lives extinguished" which contrasts with the candles as the "fire" of those beautiful lives are gone. The last tribute is highly personal where a heart mourns the loss of a friend. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Each haiku expresses different aspects of this tragedy well. The first three starts with a nature reference and ends with death. The next one focuses on the destruction and the fifth describes the pain and mourning of the "lives extinguished" which contrasts with the candles as the "fire" of those beautiful lives are gone. The last tribute is highly personal where a heart mourns the loss of a friend. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Yes, lyenochka, oit is very painful for me to be there at the ruins. I felt a psychic weight of grief and death. I can smell them. It was unlike anything I have felt before. An overwhelming sadness hung over the ruins.
Yes, "Each haiku expresses different aspects of this tragedy well." Thank you for your review and accurate analysis.
Comment from kathleenspalding
Excellent suite of haikus deals eloquently with a difficult subject. Each one does indeed stand alone, and also each fits well and flows into the group. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected.
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reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Excellent suite of haikus deals eloquently with a difficult subject. Each one does indeed stand alone, and also each fits well and flows into the group. I don't see anything that needs to be corrected.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Thank you, Kathleen, for your review. Yes, I wanted the haiku to stand alone and work together.I am glad they fit and flowed.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Oh wow this is extensively done and i love the story you told with the addition of the aaaahhh at the end. Very interresting to read and one that i enjoyed
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Oh wow this is extensively done and i love the story you told with the addition of the aaaahhh at the end. Very interresting to read and one that i enjoyed
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Dec-2016
reply by the author on 18-Dec-2016
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Oh, thank you, Barb, for giving my haiku suite its first review. I am glad that you found this extensive suite well done and interesting.
