Reviews from

Tiny Terrors

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Jack & Jill"
A collection of short horror fiction

73 total reviews 
Comment from country ranch writer
Excellent
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COOL LIKE YOUR TAKE ON THAT HEHE YOU NEVER SEEM TO AMAZE ME MY FRIEND SO YOU READY FOR THE BIG DAY OF CELEBRATING WITH JACK AND JILL HEHE

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
    Yes, I sure am, country. I only hope nobody (or nothing!) reaches up out of a well and grabs me. I'll crap my pants, LOL.

    Thanks for the review, my dear friend. Always a pleasure.
reply by country ranch writer on 03-Jul-2014
    that is what you get for scaring the crap out of people, oops just had to tease you my dear friend
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
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Creepy but in a cute way. :)

I would remove the word DEFTLY, since it sticks out and I choke on it. Remember the "rule" to avoid adverbs. It applies in poetry as well as prose, and in this case for sure.

 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
    Thanks, Phyllis, and I did just that, I dropped the word deftly like a hot potato.

    I appreciate the review and feedback.
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 02-Jul-2014
    danced suddenly ?

    Sorry, but SUDDENLY is just as bad, if not worse (avoid SUDDENLY like the plague!). Just leave out the adverb. Try to avoid LY-words. Use another way to SHOW it was sudden, and DANCED sort of does that. You could change that to JUMPED or DASHED, etc., to show it was sudden.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
    Got it. I have to have exactly 50 words, so I'm trying to come up with the right one. You may have just helped me find it, Phyllis, LOL...
reply by Phyllis Stewart on 02-Jul-2014
    Yessss! DUCKED is perrrfect here! You get an A+ and a gold star on your forehead. :)
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
    :)

    Thanks for all of your help, Phyllis. Now, I have to go and explain to my wife about that golden star, LOL.
Comment from Sonaleeka
Excellent
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I liked it very much.Very well attempt.49 words and beautiful story tell.Thanks for sharing.

God bless! Have a nice day!

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 Comment Written 02-Jul-2014

reply by the author on 02-Jul-2014
    It may have been forty-nine words at one time, but I've since corrected that mistake, Sonaleeka. I do appreciate you pointing it out to me. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Have a blessed day yourself.