All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Our Game"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
101 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
dank black lack attacking smacking - fantastic assonance of short A sounds
what compelling imagery that creates tone so well in that wormy ball
great alliteration in glory game and cold cutting calculation
excellent rhyme of calculation/manipulation
great use of chess imagery
this is really powerfully emotional! Brooke
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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dank black lack attacking smacking - fantastic assonance of short A sounds
what compelling imagery that creates tone so well in that wormy ball
great alliteration in glory game and cold cutting calculation
excellent rhyme of calculation/manipulation
great use of chess imagery
this is really powerfully emotional! Brooke
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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thx so much, Brooke! hopefully Fanstorians don't now pigeon-hole me as a sociopath! :)))
Comment from David Flynn
Ouch, very potent emotions expressed here. Sounds like she has some evening of the score to accomplish here. Very interesting and original subject matter.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Ouch, very potent emotions expressed here. Sounds like she has some evening of the score to accomplish here. Very interesting and original subject matter.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much, David. It's always fascinating to explore emotions, even the dark ones, yes? A good stretch for writing muscles!
Comment from Mai Mai
This is a very interesting piece. I like the playfulness of this piece. It is also structured very nicely and as for those kings -- they'd better think again. Great work and good luck.
Mai Mai
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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This is a very interesting piece. I like the playfulness of this piece. It is also structured very nicely and as for those kings -- they'd better think again. Great work and good luck.
Mai Mai
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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thx mai mai!
Comment from twinklepoems
This is thought provoking, I am not sure if I like it or not (and I think that is a good thing because it keeps my interest). The only reason I wouldn't like it is because it is dark and a little sinister...but that also keeps it exciting. You have great word usage and create great word pictures. I guess I'll just have to keep reading this piece until I decide how I feel!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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This is thought provoking, I am not sure if I like it or not (and I think that is a good thing because it keeps my interest). The only reason I wouldn't like it is because it is dark and a little sinister...but that also keeps it exciting. You have great word usage and create great word pictures. I guess I'll just have to keep reading this piece until I decide how I feel!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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yes, "liking" isn't really what this one's on about, is it twinks? it's meant to evoke darkness and icy rage ... and they're not "likable" emotions, hmm? But BLESS YOU, BIG TIME FOR YOUR LOVELY SIX!!!
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Absolutely the one I needed many years ago. This is one of feeling and emotion. Of control of a situation. This is one that flows and I read through wanting to see how it ended. Great
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Absolutely the one I needed many years ago. This is one of feeling and emotion. Of control of a situation. This is one that flows and I read through wanting to see how it ended. Great
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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tHX SO MUCH BARB!
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is very well written and indeed very clever I enjoyed this poem you build up the feeling and close the poem very well regards Jill
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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This is very well written and indeed very clever I enjoyed this poem you build up the feeling and close the poem very well regards Jill
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Thx so much Jill!
Comment from Perp Ihebom
I like the story of this poem. I think it is open to several interpretations but i think it is addressing men who take the women in their lives for granted. Very good diction. well done
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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I like the story of this poem. I think it is open to several interpretations but i think it is addressing men who take the women in their lives for granted. Very good diction. well done
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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yes indeed - thanks Perp!
Comment from Titanx9
Wow, now this one really does explore the range of negative emotions and digs deep into the rawest part, to seek and perhaps find the audacity to put to rest (forever) him that is the cause of her misery. This one is easy to get into and one can almost see and feel its intensity. It moves with an all-consuming rapacity for revenge from the beginning to end. Excellent job with this one and good luck!
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Wow, now this one really does explore the range of negative emotions and digs deep into the rawest part, to seek and perhaps find the audacity to put to rest (forever) him that is the cause of her misery. This one is easy to get into and one can almost see and feel its intensity. It moves with an all-consuming rapacity for revenge from the beginning to end. Excellent job with this one and good luck!
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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You've got the right idea there Dossie - it's meant to be a gutsy, raw, nasty write which makes one feel uneasy - let's face it, it's "uneasy" to even HAVE those emotions ... but I think that occasionally, we all have them ... we just don't like to 'fess up! :)
Comment from dmt1967
Feelings take over good or bad the whole poem was written with a lot of feel I felt anger maybe but sadness also good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Feelings take over good or bad the whole poem was written with a lot of feel I felt anger maybe but sadness also good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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thx so much dmt!
Comment from Starlit Ink
Heh, heh, this reminds me of the saying: "pride comes before a fall" because I have seen it happen before my eyes. The poem becomes real to the reader, since we experience these games in many ways in life, like it or not. The poem explores dark emotions with style and flair.
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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Heh, heh, this reminds me of the saying: "pride comes before a fall" because I have seen it happen before my eyes. The poem becomes real to the reader, since we experience these games in many ways in life, like it or not. The poem explores dark emotions with style and flair.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2013
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always good to explore writing "dark" every so often - though I'm glad I don't live there! :)))