All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 39 "Through My Open Door"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
85 total reviews
Comment from Glasstruth
A very mild winter, but then how cold can Hawaii get? Your free verse flows smooth as lava with enjambment and some really nice alliteration as in" second cup of coffee -
with real cream, not the powdery pretend stuff,
watch my grass grow greener" Good luck with the contest! Les
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
  |
A very mild winter, but then how cold can Hawaii get? Your free verse flows smooth as lava with enjambment and some really nice alliteration as in" second cup of coffee -
with real cream, not the powdery pretend stuff,
watch my grass grow greener" Good luck with the contest! Les
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
-
thx Les - just an unusually gentle write this morning ... I've been reading a little of Billy Collins - do you know his work? I rather like it ... I think you would too ... reflections in ordinary things ... :)S
-
Yes, I'm familiar with his work. He reflects on life in a very real way. He has one poem about Emily Dickenson putting on her corset. Quite humorous. Well, it's time to sleep. Goodnight. Les
Comment from GarthL
A very descriptive easy to read free verse Sharyn. Some nice little splashes of alliteration. I could see, hear, feel and smell it. Especially the coffee thank you! Leaving the door open for the fresh breeze and new opportunities it brings as the rooster shepherds his harem into the future is a lovely metaphor.
Great the bromeliads got a mention, I love them and have about 15 different varieties including the spanish moss which hangs throughout my forest garden.
Good luck in the contest and year ahead. Regards, Garth
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
|
A very descriptive easy to read free verse Sharyn. Some nice little splashes of alliteration. I could see, hear, feel and smell it. Especially the coffee thank you! Leaving the door open for the fresh breeze and new opportunities it brings as the rooster shepherds his harem into the future is a lovely metaphor.
Great the bromeliads got a mention, I love them and have about 15 different varieties including the spanish moss which hangs throughout my forest garden.
Good luck in the contest and year ahead. Regards, Garth
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
-
aaah - I want some pics of your garden Garth. We're actually creating a windbreak berm / privacy barrier at the moment and it's planted with 3 different kinds of bromeliads (one with red/golden/ long leaves and totally spectacular red & gold flowers) against a backdrop of the purple one (we call it "oyster flower" - purple on one side of the leaf, green on the other - great groundcover and easy to grow). It's going to be gorgeous if I can stop the weeds and kikuyu grass growing through faster than the oyster flower can cover! :)S
-
Bromeliads are tough critters Sharyn, some enjoy direct sun but many of them prefer filtered light! Their variety of flowers is enormous and some of the most spectacular to be seen. Good luck with your landscaping.
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Sharyn'
I really like the poems that convey the story that take you on the journey with the writer.
I can almost hear the branches of the coconut palms rustling and my stomach went a little bit watching the birds darting in and around the trees.
I have the same cool breeze blowing on the back of my neck, wafting down my stairs form the deck over looking the bay and now you make me feel like a real cup of coffee, not just the instant stuff and where's my real cream? And now you made me feel like I've got to go and mow the lawn.
I would have loved to give this the six it deserved!
Very good luck for the contest.
We've been flooded in for few days and even though the sun is out, a lot of our roads are closed on the north coast and Queensland.
Take care and I'll catch you on the round-a-bout.
Kindest thoughts.
James xx
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
|
Hi Sharyn'
I really like the poems that convey the story that take you on the journey with the writer.
I can almost hear the branches of the coconut palms rustling and my stomach went a little bit watching the birds darting in and around the trees.
I have the same cool breeze blowing on the back of my neck, wafting down my stairs form the deck over looking the bay and now you make me feel like a real cup of coffee, not just the instant stuff and where's my real cream? And now you made me feel like I've got to go and mow the lawn.
I would have loved to give this the six it deserved!
Very good luck for the contest.
We've been flooded in for few days and even though the sun is out, a lot of our roads are closed on the north coast and Queensland.
Take care and I'll catch you on the round-a-bout.
Kindest thoughts.
James xx
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
-
Yes, I've heard Queensland has been copping more water James - so soon after being afloat a couple of years ago! Incredible weather in Australia - talk of extremes! How are YOU faring? You said flooded in - you mean the water's over the highway?
:)S
-
yeah Sharyn,
all the roads are closed around us. where we are on the bay it's pretty safe, if we go, Iluka's gone. but you'd never know apart from the river being brown and all the debris floating down the river. Most of the water is from up river,but it's still coming.Thanks for your concern.xx
Comment from paul O'Brien
"Uplifting Poetry!
Can you write a poem that cheers lonely hearts, soothes tired brains, inspires the soul. Any style, any length."
The above would have fitted the current prompt.
loved the imagery and the feeling of contentment.
There is just so many great images and sensory moods here
"I sigh
rustling coconut palms
grass newly mown "
I have my second cup of coffee with real cream and dream
Meow
Paul
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
"Uplifting Poetry!
Can you write a poem that cheers lonely hearts, soothes tired brains, inspires the soul. Any style, any length."
The above would have fitted the current prompt.
loved the imagery and the feeling of contentment.
There is just so many great images and sensory moods here
"I sigh
rustling coconut palms
grass newly mown "
I have my second cup of coffee with real cream and dream
Meow
Paul
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
Well??? did you get that it was a nod of thanks to Billy???? Yes, I thought of entering this when I saw the prompt - just wrote it this morning - but I was too mean to spend $5! :))))
-
Didn't miss it -- I have had comments like ' how refreshing to have poetry like this '(i didn't tell them it was Billy's influence)
Gee its hard to get back up the poetry ladder when they only offer 1 review point and 2 cents reward--I too Don't feel like
paying more. Paul
-
not worth posting unless you can do a 3 day certificate plus a couple of member pumps Paul - not worth it for their 2 "free" reviews, especially if one of them is rubbish!
-
I agree Paul
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm sitting right next to you, sharing a coffee and watching the grass grow greener. How I miss my lawn. Moving to Spain, in the desert region means no grass. Trying to sell up and go home now! I just loved the flow of this, it was comfortable, like your chair. I could see everything you could see with your very discriptive imagery. If I hadn'd given you the 6 for your story, you would have had it for this!! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
I'm sitting right next to you, sharing a coffee and watching the grass grow greener. How I miss my lawn. Moving to Spain, in the desert region means no grass. Trying to sell up and go home now! I just loved the flow of this, it was comfortable, like your chair. I could see everything you could see with your very discriptive imagery. If I hadn'd given you the 6 for your story, you would have had it for this!! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
Well bless you Sandra! How long have you lived in Spain? We lived a few miles further away for a couple of years, in towards Pa'ia (huge move, right, 14 miles away) - but it was so much drier there! I actually MISSED the rain and the green. So I know how you feel. Thank you also, so much, for contemplating a six and sharing my coffee today!
:)Sharyn
-
Your coffee is wonderful. I've have lived here 10 years now and I'm at the age where I want to be nearer my sons and grandchildren. And I want to feel the rain again!!
Comment from 9999pool
Every morning we open our doors and may times we leave that door open - no, not to invite unwelcome visitors but that door in our mind. over a cup of coffe with real cream and now sipping a second cup, we can watch the morning unfolding slowly. We absorbed the sights and sounds and another sip of the aromatic coffee. In the stillness, there is beauty all around, silence and peace before the crowds wake up disturbing our peace, LOL.
In this dawn and on any other dawn, we must keep reminding ourselves that to be able to see this new dawn opening everyday, we must leave our mind's door open for all possibilities and eventualities.
Good serenade and metaphor of a brilliant and shiny morning. Cheers, Ritchie.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
Every morning we open our doors and may times we leave that door open - no, not to invite unwelcome visitors but that door in our mind. over a cup of coffe with real cream and now sipping a second cup, we can watch the morning unfolding slowly. We absorbed the sights and sounds and another sip of the aromatic coffee. In the stillness, there is beauty all around, silence and peace before the crowds wake up disturbing our peace, LOL.
In this dawn and on any other dawn, we must keep reminding ourselves that to be able to see this new dawn opening everyday, we must leave our mind's door open for all possibilities and eventualities.
Good serenade and metaphor of a brilliant and shiny morning. Cheers, Ritchie.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
Bless you, Ritchie - glad you enjoyed early morning coffee with me. I'll be ready to add a chapter to your book this week some time I think! :))))Sharyn
-
Wow, Sharyn. Didn't know you are a coffee addict too like me. Sometimes don't know whether to believe what the poets put in their writings cos I am one of them, LOL.
The book? Oh yes, it now has 9 Chapters and you will smile at the diversity of the theme and title.
Watch out for "Two heads are not better" - 'Chapter 4' by elliejean, real good story line, cross my heart.
Don't rush as I know you are a busy gal. Mind you, there are some high ranking guy writers contributing to this battle book - so more pressure on high rank lady writers like yourself (I am starting to enjoy this 'battle', LOL).
Just for fun anyway. You know Ritchie by now I am sure, haha.
-
oh I will be devious and give it PLENTY of thought, Ritchie. Would you mind giving me the link again please?
:)
-
Well Curt Mongold and Trieschel have leaft their finger prints in the book. My big 'bro' Rondeno has given me his blesings so I will go after him real soon. As for vsionary1234 - this lady is still counting the cups of coffee she had since this morning.
Oh, the link? here it is:
http://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?id=587634
then, click "Add Chapter" on the right hand menu.
You may choose any theme, any form and any title. No holds barred.
I will review all the chapters for sure, LOL.
Cheers, Ritchie.
Comment from Joannforsberg
I too have been able to leave my door open for two days here in freezing Michigan. We got a heat-wave of 50 degrees. LOL. Hey, I will take it! Went out walking, doors open, cleaned garage. Ok, back to your poem. Of course well written. Gave such a old comfy chair type feeling just reading it. Truly enjoyed! Jo
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
I too have been able to leave my door open for two days here in freezing Michigan. We got a heat-wave of 50 degrees. LOL. Hey, I will take it! Went out walking, doors open, cleaned garage. Ok, back to your poem. Of course well written. Gave such a old comfy chair type feeling just reading it. Truly enjoyed! Jo
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
thx Jo! Winter for us is a sweatshirt at night - unless you go to the top of Haleakala, of course, at 10,000feet! But mornings are a little nippy if the wind is right. :)S
Comment from wordsareus
I really enjoyed reading your poem. It is very descriptive and has a pleasant tone. The image you paired with your poem is lovely.
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
I really enjoyed reading your poem. It is very descriptive and has a pleasant tone. The image you paired with your poem is lovely.
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
thx som much my dear! glad to share a quiet cup of coffee with you! :)Sharyn
Comment from adewpearl
good alliteration in comfy cushy
beautiful descriptive detail of setting
good internal rhyme of stir/whir
strong verbs like swoop and shepherd add life to this scene
a wonderful celebration of the world that surrounds you :-)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
good alliteration in comfy cushy
beautiful descriptive detail of setting
good internal rhyme of stir/whir
strong verbs like swoop and shepherd add life to this scene
a wonderful celebration of the world that surrounds you :-)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
bless you, Brooke - a quiet moment over coffee this morning ... :)))
Comment from October21
Leaving ones door open is sort of hopeful for me as I found that it meant one is leaving a draft to come in so that new opportunities can come into somebody's life and the old air can mix with the new. Great description of the Hawaiian night:-)
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
|
Leaving ones door open is sort of hopeful for me as I found that it meant one is leaving a draft to come in so that new opportunities can come into somebody's life and the old air can mix with the new. Great description of the Hawaiian night:-)
Comment Written 30-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jan-2013
-
You've got it, Shenel - exactly! Thank you so much for your close and attentive reading. I'm sorry I've used my reviewer nominations up for this month, but I would have liked to give you one for this review. You really are so attentive to details! Bless you, from me personally! :)Sharyn
-
That's very kind of you to say my friend!:-) Thank you! It was a pleasure reading!:-) x